Should I let my boyfriend hang out with his ex?

During the summer I'm traveling for vacation and coincidentally, my boyfriend's ex is coming into town for the whole 2 months that I'll be gone. He said he was happy that she was coming so he will finally have someone to hang out with, and a few other friends.
I told him that I was insure about it and he told me he won't see her. But he might go out with her in a group setting.
I get an uneasy feeling whenever he brings her up, and it honestly seems like she still has feelings for him.
Should I let him hang out with her alone or not?
Your opinons?

Updates:
Thanks for your opinions guy. I talked to him about it and he said he will tell his friends he's going out of the country so there is no way his ex or his friends will find him anywhere. He will spend most days at home :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't like how he went about it, the moment you're going and she's in town and he's talking about how he'll have someone to see etc. For me, he's not tried to be respectful of you, even if he's trying to make jokes his jokes have a tinge of "you can't trust me" in them.
    If they weren't already friends I don't see why he needs to see her unless by accident, she is an ex for a reason. The fact you aren't there bothers me. I told my SO when his ex who he's friends with (but is out of the country) comes back, I'm not going to stop him talking or seeing her but I'd like him to respect me - not invite her over if I'm not around or he hasn't told me first etc.

    So while you obviously don't have the right to "allow" or "let" him hang out with her alone, you can obviously ask that he respect you and that he doesn't. And either keep it to group settings or just move on and avoid her. I am torn on whether to mention you think she has feelings for him, because I wouldn't want him to look at her with the idea she has feelings for him still.

    But do what you feel is best.

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    • We trust eachother. He is respectful, but he gets immature sometimes, I mean which guy doesn't? He promised not to see her at all, or any of his friends during the whole summer, because he knows how I feel about it.

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    • I hope he doesn't, and it's good he is!
      Hopefully in the future he won't make a stupid joke like that and know time and place!

    • Why thank you Miss <3
      I think you're handling things quite well considering.

What Guys Said 9

  • I assume you and him are having sex? I assume he had sex with her? If he had sex with her they will probably do it again, if you let him alone with her. If you forbid him, he will probably do it anyway. That is why I like to advise people to wait for marriage to have sex, and not make it a common thing, lest they spread it around with anyone who gives them a second wink, and become bonded to many people in their neighborhoods, and creating situations like this.

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    • Sex is completely out of this question.. They haven't had sex and neither have we. I don't see them having sex anytime soon either..

    • Well, that certainly helps him to keep things decent between him and her. But as his future and potential mate, if you have reasonable cause to worry about him being intimate with her, or even connecting with her heart more than yours, you should voice your opinion to him. What he does after that is a good indication of how he feels about you.

  • No he shouldn't because he is with you. If they were intimate, it isn't a good idea even in group setting... because who knows what that group is going to be doing... drinking... bad.

    How about this though: Trust him, but lay down what is acceptable and not. He's responsible for his behavior. you get to check into his friends. he's either faithful or he isn't... and you either accept that or you don't...

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    • I like how you mentioned being faithful, he is definitely faithful and he told me he won't see her :)

  • NOOOO, FUK him if he does that to you! Think about it this way, if you ex was in town would he want you to see him... NOPE, so he has no right to see his ex while still dating you! Otherwise he is a hypocrite. Just bein honest

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    • Can't have both girls at once :)
      He said he won't see her so I'm happier

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    • ... smart man 🤓 Made the right decision

    • Haha yeah he's really good to me

  • Though you can't let him, you should let him know that him hanging out with his ex makes you uncomfortable, expect nothing beyond that. But keep it in the back of your mind that your power is to simply break up with him if things go wrong, and that is a strong power you both wield.

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  • Only during day time for a coffee , not in the evening.

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  • No. She's his ex. Operant word being ex. He doesn't need to do this.

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  • Nope not a good idea

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    • That's what I'm thinking..

  • No. Dont.

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  • should i let my dog out today?

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What Girls Said 11

  • That would definitely make me very uncomfortable. You can't "let" him do something though. He's a grown man and if he wants to hang out with his ex then that's what he is going to do. However, you have every right to tell him how you feel and let him know that you would not appreciate him doing that. As your boyfriend, he should respect that and not want to do anything that would break your trust. So I suppose this is just something you will need to talk to him more about. If you don't want him to see her at all, even in a group setting, then you need to explain to him that you are uncomfortable with that and hopefully he will be understanding.

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    • I told him how I feel. He reassured me that he won't see any of his friends or his ex during the whole summer :)

  • I'm totally on your side with this, as if this situation was happening to me. I would not be comfortable with it either. But I would tell him and talk to him more about this.

    I guess if it's in a group setting, that is fine. So long as he isn't going out with her alone. As much as it makes anyone uncomfortable, you should be able to trust him. He is your boyfriend and there are plenty of girls he could just date I'm sure. But he is sticking with you, so you have to trust him.

    I think you should let him know you are uncomfortable with them hanging out. But that you have to trust him. Hopefully nothing happens.

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  • you need to trust him. it's in moments like those that you'll know his loyalty to you is true. if it is in a group setting then u certainly have nothing to worry about. dont doubt ur man like that. you should be grateful he's even telling u about her coming into town. a lot of men wouldn't have done that. that's a good sign in itself. he's being open with you.

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    • We are very open with eachother, always have been. And yea I am glad he told me..

  • Definitely not! If she still has feelings for him and he is excited to see her they should not even be hanging out in a group setting. I have some questions in order to understand your situation more:
    Does your boyfriend know that she likes him?
    How long have you two been dating?
    How long have they dated?
    How long was it since their relationship ended?

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    • I've tried telling him that she might have feelings for him..
      We've been dating for around 2 months, while they dated for a year and a half.
      They broke up 11 months ago.

    • Do you feel that this relationship is serious?
      What did he say or how did he react to you saying that she could possibly still like him?
      He should respect it if you do not want him hanging out with her.

    • He says that he is over her and doesn't care if she likes him or not because he loves me..
      So far it seems serious enough for 2 months.
      Yes he said he won't see her at all because of how I felt :)

  • I feel like he should respect what you say and not hang out with her, but on the other hand, being in a relationship should mean trusting the other person.

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  • I wouldn't feel comfortable with that especially if he kept bringing her up. But you can't tell him what he can or can't do. You can tell him how you feel but he needs to be the one to choose what he feels is best.

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    • I told him how I felt, and he got upset about making me sad so he promised he won't see her at all.. :)

  • You should let him, seeing as you have no control over someone else's life. However, you should wonder why he wants to see her and let him know you're not happy about it. It's up to him what he does.

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    • Well they keep in touch and they're good friends even though she lives halfway across the world. The only reason they broke up is because she had to move away. She still misses him.
      But he promised he won't see or talk to her at all. :)

  • NO! Just no bad idea things cAn turn left

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  • nooooooooo, ıt's not good to be still friends with exes. There are lots of cheatings because of that. As there is a past and he will remember what they did when he looks at her face

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    • That's exactly what I said to him. He wants to make me happy and he promised not to see her again. :)

  • NO! u can't let him hang out with his ex. in my opinion men are not able to be totally trusted

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  • I would reflect how you feel but not make it seem like you forcing him to not hang out with her. If he really cares hell respect your feelings.

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    • I didn't tell him not to hang out with her. I just told him how I felt and he decided he won't see her. :)

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