Ok so my boyfriend of 8 sex years loves sex is great at it, doesn't stray, but hardly has sex with Me. Like he's emotional like a girl you could say and needs his ego stroked a little and us to be getting on well for a while no fights in order to have sex, which is stil only like once every 6 weeks. It drives me nuts because if I had it my way I'd have it all the time, but not only does he not want it often he also rejects me a lot, like the other day because he assumed I'm talking to a guy on my phone or If I've said something he didn't agree with. I've discussed this with him plenty of times as Its gets me so down as he makes me feel like im a piece of shit & not worthy of it/ his love. He's told me he feels bad but continues to do it and doesn't change. He talks jokes around all the time how much he wants to have sex with me or how good I look etc but doesn't act on it. Sometimes I think he does it to have control over me and my emotions, self esteem?
Its been going on for the last 2 years like this and it's really affecting my self esteem, I live him but don't know what to do
Well, there are lots of influences that can negatively affect someone's sex drive. Is there any money or job problems, new stresses in your lives? Is he unhappy with himself professional? Are there any health issues? You need to look at yourself too. Any major life changes? Baby, weight gain, style change? Also, some relationships do run out of momentum after time. He still loves you, but that drive to want to be with you sexually has dried up. Some couples become so lovey-dovey after time that good old hard fucking seems too "dirty" or demeaning and therefore they lose interest.
It seems like he is bored of you. First of all, it's a myth that men think about sex every seven seconds, and while that still sounds like a lot, just because he's thinking about it hardly means he wants it right then and there.
So when he negs you, it seems unnatural, and you may worry that something's wrong with your relationship.
But the occasional mismatch in desire is normal. You can't just flash him or grab his crotch and expect him to be instantly hard.
If you're really in the mood and think his no had some leeway, you will have to plant a sexy thought in his head, which could make his lust level do a 360.
it seems like you keep expecting him to initiate sex, and he's tired of it, and why do you say "if you had your way?" maybe he wants to see that in you. maybe he has trust issues or thinks you dont love him enough, maybe he wants to marry you but wants you to propose, who knows i find when guys get older they slow down, especially if they have to work a lot.(and why its better to have someone to commit to and have sex as young as possible cause guys are at there prime) whos on top during sex, you or him? if its him all the time maybe he's tired of doing all the "sex" work.
As much as you might love him it doesn't sound like you guys are compatible when it comes to sex and that's just as important as anything else in a relationship in my opinion. And he shouldn't be making you feel the way you feel either, that's a form of emotional abuse. I would consider leaving him and finding someone else if he's not willing to change and work on this. Even then, it's going to take a lot of effort and work on his part.
Straight up in my opinion, he's tired of the same ole pussy. I mean after 8 years there's nothing new about it. I guarantee if someone hot female came around and spread her legs he'd jump in that quick. Especially if the two of you do the same technique over and over. There's no excitement to it anymore. I think at your age women's sex drive goes up whereas men's tend to lower, plus work, bills. Sometimes I'd rather just get myself off then have sex as well.
Sounds to me like he is cheating already... Hate to say it... but find a new love someone who loves and values you..
Why do guys reject sex? Because the women that say men only are interested in sex are wrong. Men do reject sex for a number of reasons. Also a man is not obligated to give a woman sex if he does not want to.