Self harm scars a deal breaker?

I'm a 17 year old girl, going to be a senior in high school. My freshman year I was diagnosed with depression, which led me to self harm into my sophomore year. I eventually told my parents and stopped self harming, was put on medications, and started therapy. I'm now 99% recovered but am left with scars on my upper thighs. There are about five that are about an inch long and noticeable with lots of other smaller ones that can hardly be seen. You can only see them when I'm wearing short shorts and a swimsuit. I'm scared I will never be able to get a boyfriend or people will think of me negatively even though I'm emotionally healed. What would you think of someone who has scars? Would you ever date a girl with self harm scars?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I ain't got no problem with them at all. To be completely honest I have them too. I am 17 also going to be a senior and was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety when I was a sophomore/freshman. I have had those scars since then and have wondered the same thing but no one dares to ask or say anything about it whether good or bad it doesn't bother me. I always end up crying when I talk about my depression. But I wouldn't worry about it at all, it's just a thing that happens to people and if the guy you are looking for doesn't like it or judges you for them then he is not a good enough guy for you. You deserve someone amazing. I hope I could help. And by the way, if you ever want to message me or anything about life or depression or school/whatever I'm always free.

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    • Thank you so much for this. It really helps knowing there's others going through the same exact thing. And I will do! I hope you too have found recovery or are at least working on it and always know there's people out there for you

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    • That's really good to hear, I will be praying for you as well:)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Id think nothing of it since you're better. in fact id date you and id kiss your scarrs because they dont define you like your depression used to.

    If someone won't date you because of them, theyre not someone you should be trying to date in the first place.

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    • Awe that's so cute... that is true. I'm scared to be defined by my depression, which I think is probably going to happen by people who don't understand mental illness in the first place.

    • Don't be afraid of that, accept it for it is the way people are. They fear the things they cannot understand because they cannot understand it.

      I promise you, you'll find someone who loves you, scars and all. <3

What Guys Said 4

  • It wouldn't bother me at all as long as she wasn't still hurting herself. I have a lot of surgical scars so I barely even notice them

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    • You just have to stop seeing the scars as a terrible thing and look at them as a reminder of how far you've come. I have a scar that goes from about half way up my neck all the way to my pelvis and it wraps around my ribs cage on on the right side and I have a couple of smaller scars on my chest. They used to bother me so much that I hated swimming or doing anything that required taking my shirt off but now I've accepted that they're part of me and they're a constant reminder of how far I've come since all of the surgeries

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    • You're welcome. Tbh some people might judge you because of your scars but I think there are a lot more people like me who wouldn't be bothered by them or think any less of you. Feel free to message me anytime if you have any other questions or you just want to talk.

    • I guess the people who won't judge me are really the only ones worth being with. I just might take you up on the offer!

  • The scars themselves I wouldn't mind. I would worry about your mental stability though. How easily can you fall into another depression, will I have to carry you through multiple successive depressions or was it a one time thing. That's what is bothering me...

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    • With depression it's very easy to fall back into it sadly. It's been about a year since I've had a depressive episode so I would like to think they are over. But what you say is very true, it is also a fear of my own

    • I know about this all too well...

    • I'm very sorry to hear that:(

  • Yes they are a deal breaker.

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  • It wouldn't bother me. I probably wouldn't even ask about them. Best to move on and look forward :)

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    • That's a good way to look at it. I probably am the most critical of them, just don't want people I think I'm crazy or have baggage or something

    • Oh please. Everyone has baggage.

What Girls Said 3

  • I have a friend who used to self harm and she is dating this really amazing guy she stopped self harming now and used to pin the fault on her pet if you have been scratched by a dog or cat or any other pet with claws you could blame them if you are not comfortable with admitting it to a guy at first.

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  • It's scare no need for a detailed explanation. Okay?

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  • Dont be scared, there will be people that accept you. And plus your past dont define you, im glad you are healed and have stop self harmed. Plus who cares what people thinks, you're not living to please them anyways. And their opinions dont matter.

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