Guys, How do I handle this without scaring him away? Should I give him space?

This guy I have been talking to for a long time finally decided he wants to hang out with me to see where things go. He told me that he's very scared of attachment and provided an example of one time that he started getting close to someone and it made him so nervous that he ignored her until she broke up with him. We have plans to go out again soon and suddenly he has been much less talkative lately. I'm trying to feel secure in that him opening up to me about stuff was a step towards him trusting me and being able to get close, but then I'm also starting to feel panicked that he is going to do the same to me before we even see eachother again. How do I handle this without scaring him away? I don't want to bring it up and pressure him about it, because I feel like that might scare him off... But I feel like I'm going crazy worrying if he is going to get cold feet with me. What do I do?


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What Guys Said 3

  • It's difficult, he's the one who closes himself and if he's really paranoid about those things I don't think that there's much you can do. Maybe if you tell him that you're excited to hang out with him, act naturally, maybe you'll be able to make him do things right this time.

  • If the smallest commitment scares him off then he won't able to be in a relationship with you , no offense but your wasting your time

  • He's warning you who he is but you've chosen to ignore it. Your subconscious is trying to remind you and that is what is making you nervous.

    You could have chosen to be with a fully avaliable guy but out of all of them, you chose the one that is the most likely to ditch you. Maybe you are the fearful one...

    • It is possible you are right. I am not trying to ignore what he said... but I have liked him for a long time and he told me he has strong feelings for me and wants to be with me, but is worried he won't make me happy. I guess I am trying to give it the benefit of the doubt that I can be the exception... but I am scared of getting attached/hurt as well, despite really missing a close relationship, so maybe my choosing this guy who is so unavailable is a subconscious way to avoid attachment... Hm. Thank you.