I think I have been texting too much, how can I do better so I don't push him away before it's too late?

I've been talking to a guy now for about 3 months getting to know him. I'm starting to feel like I'm chasing him. I text him a lot I notice. I'm talkative sometimes and im excited to talk to him about anything. And I often want to chat to him daily. He always replies to me but I dont want to annoy him or seem clingy. I want to allow him to prove to me that he likes me. He told me that he likes me and that made me happy and want to talk to him and know him even more. But now I really want to see if he likes me and how much he likes me. And I see now that over texting isn't allowing him to show me. Lately I'm starting to think this isn't a good thing because I've heard that you should let a person miss you and allow the man to court you. I guess I'm having a hard time doing that just sitting back and letting him come to me. I start to have anxiety that if I don't show interest then things won't move forward to the next step. Or if I don't text him or ask to hang out then he won't do it on his own and forget about me and leave. I'm starting to see now that the way I'm thinking is causing me to push too hard. Its addicting and I enjoy his company, its hard not to text somerimes. How can I do better so I don't push him away?


What Guys Said 2

  • I've ridden the anxiety train, and still am on that train. But what anxiety can do, is make you seem needy (like you've stated). Unfortunately, I cannot offer you a quick fix to your problem.

    Basically, the advice that I can give you, is build a real life relationship. Don't rely on texting to solve everything.

    At this point, I've read the part where you have to start the texting or initiate hanging out. That's not what you want. If you want a relationship, both partners need to make plans, and need to do that willingly.
    Give him space, see if he initiates anything. If he doesn't, well you're out of luck and better off finding or waiting for someone else.

    Best of luck :)

    • Yea I was thinking the same thing. I should just completely stop texting him all together?

    • Yeah, for now. That's what I mean by give it space.

  • Hang out with him face to face. Texting is good for the getting to know each other phase. Now you should be spending time together aka dating. Only text him to set up meets.

    • Should I wait for him to ask me to meet up aka set up dates? Or should I ask him?

    • Ask him to hang with you, if you're nervous ask him to hang out with you and your friends then just spend all your time hanging with him. Just brief your friend (s) ahead of time they are playing wing woman to help with nerves. Keep doing this until hanging out with each other becomes routine.

    • I see. Makes sense. I sent a text yesterday asking if he was busy this week and that I was wondering if he wanted to hang out. I haven't gotten a response yet. I think I'm just going to back off and not text him anymore. If he wants to see me then he can reach out to me and if I'm not busy then maybe I'll hang out with him and talk to him. He told me about a week ago that he was busy but didn't go into details. I know he said he's been looking for a new job. But I don't know what else he could be so busy with. Lately it takes him a long time to reply to me. He said he's just a bad texter. I'm starting to feel like I'm chasing him. He told me that he likes me and more but I just don't get it. If he wants me he'll show me. I've already shown him that I want him and that I'm interested. So maybe it's just best if I lean back and see if he comes to me. If not I guess he just wanted one thing.

What Girls Said 1

  • You can try to lower your initiation rate slowly, I mean step by step.
    Like if you initaite talking to him twice a day, then make it once a day, then once every other day and so on.
    In this way, you won't feel so insecure because you still show your interest, but also gives him the chances to miss you and reciprocate.