Why Is It So Hard Meeting Men?

I mean, seriously. I have hobbies and do things on my own like going to the gym everyday, going to coffee shops, libraries, book stores... but, besides the gym, no where I go are any men. And the guys on here have indicated already on several Takes and questions that the gym is not a place to meet a guy. So where are they all at? I don't have a problem approaching one, but it would be nice to have one to actually, you know, APPROACH.

PS, I tried the online dating thing. People just want hook ups and never anything serious, so no, not going back to that.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • To many guys ruin online dating buy spam messaging and everyone has too much choice so all go for the same groups. I tried OKcupid wanting something serious I've had 10 visits 6 likes and one match with a girl witch as a guy I think is actually quite good as a girl that would be really low though.
    I messaged and chatted with her briefly she was very non committal and the conversation wasn't good so it just died.
    I'm part of a local makers group about 10 regulars and various people who occasionally turn up all men mostly taken but 2 of the regulars me and another guy my age are single groups with a common interest are good for meeting people we all go primarily to talk about what we're working on with each other and share knowledge.
    I tried spinning to meet women but it's just not nearly as social to be fair I only went 5 or 6 times so far stopped going to that for about a month while I was particularly busy I may go back and I guess I didn't really hang around much after since I was sweaty.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sure there are men all around you everywhere you go, unless you live indoors in a bubble.

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    • There's not... I know it sounds weird, or maybe it's just where I live, but the men I run into are all older than me or have a girlfriend. I feel like I'm at a weird age where most men are taken and if I want to find a good one, I'm going to have to wait a few more years.

    • Asker, that's true most people are in relationships statistically. I think the "more desirable" people tend to even more so kind of get picked over too unfortunately.

What Guys Said 20

  • I believe this would be a case of "No, I don't mean *thoooose* ones." There are men everywhere. Not only are there men everywhere, but men are particularly easy to get. Really, if you're halfways attractive, less even, you shouldn't have any problems walking up to any guy you want and saying "Hey, wanna go for a date?" Pretty much 60-75% likelihood they say yes.

    Although, if there are no men where you live, could I get a country/state name? Because I might be planning to move to a 100% female part of the world. Mmmmm. Actually, that might be more than I bargain for. Oh well. Someone has to make the sacrifice.

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  • This is an actual problem, dating coaches, dating businesses often talk about it on the internet, there are even books about it. It seems that "dating culture" just doesn't exists any more, men in large part are opting out of it. Something like 70% of men ages 20 to 34 are single and not looking, it's been this way for years now. The amount of men who want to someday marry is the lowest it has ever been and dropping while the reverse is true for women, so there is a lot more women seeking men then men seeking women.

    There is also the issue of fewer and fewer men being what most women would consider "marriageable", so there is probably 2 or more times the amount of women seeking eligible men then there are eligible men seeking women.

    By the time a man is in his 30's and not married the odds he will drop to like 10% and men who have gone through divorce generally aren't interested ion being in that position again.

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  • Approach anywhere you see a guy you like, even at the gym. If they say they're busy or something, that's fine, but what if he doesn't mind? The more chances you take, the more possibilities of finding a guy you like.

    There's guys everywhere, you can even stop one in the streets or at a bus/train stop. Sure, sometimes there'll be guys that are in a hurry and/or don't wanna be bothered, but you never know. Take the risk.

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  • there are guys everywhere, there just seems to not be so many guys you find yourself attracted too.

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  • because most guys are ignored and rejected by girls so they realize girls will never love them so they give up and stay home and play video games.
    and because they know the truth that girls will never want them, they want the girl to approach cause thats how it works, because its the girl and its always been the girl who decides on who they want when they want and it seems all girls want are other girls and to be lesbians, guys just can't win a girls heart anymore.

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  • It's not easy finding women either. It's just the times we live in now I think. People judge and are picky. They seem to automatically think "no" about someone before giving them a chance even. Too quick to dismiss and this goes for both guys and girls. Just my opinion anyway.

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  • When I was younger I never imagined that there were so many women who couldn't find a guy. But there seems to be tons. Well right now i'm chilling on my bed so that's where I'm at ;).

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  • There are many places you can get social. Book stores, bowling alleys, outdoor events, etc. Sometimes you even meet by just a casual acquaintance like being on the bus or train, at the movie theater, and yes sometimes the gym. I have heard guys here saying the gym isn't a place to meet guys, and sometimes it is true, but some of my guy friends have met women they were into at the gym, and sometimes it even resulted in just sex.

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  • I agree it can be hard. The key in my opinion is finding ways to communicate with many people somehow.

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    • Is it hell hard for her, i don't care what she says. I'll put money on it that if she does online dating , she will have her inbox flooded with messages in no time like your average woman. The fact is the guys online is not what she wants and she refuses to lower her standards because she demands a premium male like most women these days.

    • @Indigo91 That's actually what happened. I made a profile and got at least 3 messages an hour for the first few days and none of them were quality men. They all had like 2 or 3 kids, worked at minimum wage jobs, drank all the time, had pictures of alcohol and blunts and cigarettes, didn't spell correctly in their profile, and the messages were all the same. "What up" or "Wat u doin". I mean, I put in my profile on purpose that I'm an English teacher and I don't respond to messages like that. Men that respond like that didn't read my profile or they would know better. And their profiles aren't very meaningful... men usually say the same thing. "I'm like to chill and watch movies but I go out. I'm a cool dude. Hit me up to know more." I don't think it's asking too much for a guy to read my profile and want to actually learn more about me. Most of the time, they want to meet right away, too. Like... the same day I'm messaged. That's a big ass red flag. I just quit the online dating.

    • By, "I'm like to chill and watch movies but I go out. I'm a cool dude. Hit me up to know more" I think I know what you mean lol. Those guys probably didn't read your profile because they were likely spamming emails to be more efficient. Did you try for a few months? One guy you may find appealing may join eventually.

      I looked before and think I had a hard time gauging if I'd like them as a person without really knowing them. @Indigo91 I too didn't really find like anyone attractive. Like none. I can not relate to the desire to send thousands of messages to women online.

  • Who says the gym isn't a place to meet a dude? Thats bull.

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    • You guys did lol, I read it in a question and few myTakes

    • I never said that at all.

    • nope, we said it's a bad place to approach women. In your scenario, you have to make the move. Most of us have learned the hard way women don't want to be bothered at the gym.

  • I know I use online dating for hook up and avoid those dating girl like u Lol. but
    Are u can find guys anywhere jusg start noticing the guys that check u out and call them on it.

    Or lay attentio. Who's extra nice to you

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  • Probably the same reason it's hard for men meeting women - picky.

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  • Try being the average single dude for one day! Then you will know what adversity is, at least women can get hookups at the drop of a hat.

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    • That would be a good point if most women actually wanted hook ups.

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    • No, I have standards.

    • How does that mean you have standards lol

  • Anywhere and everywhere...

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  • Everywhere you're going you can drop hints or even approach

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    • Okay, stupid question , but what do you mean drop hints. I don't know how to do that.

  • At the gym just catch him on the way out.

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  • Apparentlly they are all hanging out with all the single ladies I can't find either. Apparentlly there is a big singles party and you and I were not invited.

    I'll be your man. 😉

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  • Online is easiest, there's definite segregation by app. Some are more hookup focused, some are more relationship focused, and at least where I live, the paid sites are better (people who are just attention seeking are less likely to pay money, people who just want to hook up are more likely to use tinder)

    I think it's a lot more acceptable for a woman to approach men at the gym then vice versa. There are tons of women only gyms/floors for a reason.

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  • Guys have taken the hint that many women don't like being approached so they don't do it.

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  • Well guys say don't approach at the gym because most women will get very pissed if a guy does that and guys don't want to get banned from the gym.

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    • I didn't know men got banned for approaching a woman. I thought they only did if they did it several times and wouldn't leave her alone after being told to go away.

    • If the woman was upset enough by the first approach she could scream that the gym wasn't a safe place for her to workout and they respond with kicking the guy out.

What Girls Said 3

  • maybe they're at home wondering where all the single women are at :p

    but really, i know it can be hard. maybe expand your hobbies and find more openings to communicate. you can meet guys at the gym too. i saw a Take about that here.

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  • Dating apps.

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  • I totally get you! I'm having the same problem. Online dating is terrible!!!

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