My boyfriend and I have been together 7 months and he told loved me. I really do care about him and sometimes I feel the urge to tell him I love him, although I'm not sure I do, so I don't because I don't think that it's fair to 'lie'.
When he told me, I absolutely froze and shut off. He seemed so sincere and he wasn't looking for me to say it back and I said (and I quote) "shit that's um wow yeah thanks". And it gets better, I then proceeded to run to the bathroom because I felt like I was going to be sick. I then cried (which I never ever do and he's never seen me cry or known me to cry). I was in absolute hysterics. I obviously didn't say it back and he was kinda freaked out, but he was really nice about it. I've only ever had one anxiety attack in my life and I think I had one when he told me he loved me because I couldn't breath (it was way worse than my other one).
I've never told anyone other than my dog and my parents that I love them (and very sparingly I tell my brother). I accidentally told my friend once and I took it back and avoided her for weeks.
He hasn't been too awkward about it (even though he's an awkward person) and I've been acting like everything's fine, but there's obviously some tension.
Has anything like this happened to anyone else?
I do have intimacy (both emotional and physical) issues but I didn't think I'd react like this.
If anyone has any advice on how I can approach this or a solution that'd be great.
Most Helpful Guy
if you feel the urge to tell him you love... you love him.
i'm sure the urge will overcome you eventually.0
Most Helpful Girl
I think you need to reassure him and let him know how you feel. Even if you don't really know yourself it's important that your partner is aware of everything. Let him know that it wasn't anything about him, you were just surprised and didn't know how to react because you have never really put yourself out there like that with anyone and you shy away from intimacy. It's important for him to know so he doesn't feel like you don't care about him. Tell him you do care for him a lot, you're just not ready to say love yet because you have some hesitations about the word, but he means everything to you. You just need time, and he sounds like a good guy so I'm sure he'll understand and stick by you.0