I usually put my all in with one person even in the early stages then end up hurt. So the past few weeks , I said I'm going to just be more laid back and play the field. So I've been talking to 4 men and I've gone on 2 dates with 2 of them. And I can't handle it I'm so stressed out and feel guilty about juggling all these men. And the problem is they all seem to be really interested and making future plans and I feel awful.
People keep telling me being not exclusive is great. But I like it when it's just one person cause all this has done is give me a massive headache.
So what do you think?
- I can only date one person at a timeVote A
- I enjoy dating multiple peopleVote B
- OtherVote C
Most Helpful Guy
Honestly, it takes a cold indifference to do it properly. If can't detatch yourself, this multiple approach will turn you into a guilt ridden wreck who is incapable of loving anyone because you'll feel like you're always doing something wrong. Basically if you're asking this question you're not really cut out for it.
You have weigh up your guilt vs your hurt. Which one is worse? I think for someone like you who, a balance of the two approaches would be best. You focus on one man but you remain guarded and give out only as much as you recieve.
While i advocate what you're doing i always caution those that do play this game to only play if you can do it properly.0
Most Helpful Girl
Well dating with multiple people take some practise and not for everyone. Before I settled down, I was a player, not shame to admit. Haha... like going on 3 different dates or even more everyday and night with different men. At the beginning, I was like you, like feeling bad and stressful, then the more experiences I had, the more "systematic" it got. I planned out time, when people won't text me during the date, how to make sure how each man won't run into each other and how to organize a successful date , ie fun, impressive. And slowly, it became a challenge, if the date went well, we hugged at the end and it felt like a trophy I got. I dont say it keep dating with multiple people, its not even dating. Just going onto different dates. So yea, it takes practise, no one is born with that skill to date with many people at one time. By the way, I don't encourage it.;)1