I am dating 8 guys at the same time. HELP?

I have been really messy. How do I get myself out of this?

So I am dating multiple guys at the same time “no. I am not having sex with any of them” that would be crazy. There are eight guys right now ( + three guys, but they has stayed in the background *one of them is my ex boyfriend that is trying to get back with me*). I have been on a date with at least four of them and all the guys have asked me on a date again. Which is crazy. I hate saying no and love to give them all a chance even if I am not seeing a future with some of those guys but would love to be a friend to them. I don’t know what I am doing anyone and need to have some control over this situation now cause it is taking over my own time with friends, family and myself. I am only dating for fun. I am not looking for a boyfriend at all. What should I do?

One of the guys I do really like and get on with so well. It is scary but I think he only want me for one thing. I would love him as a friend (maybe future boyfriend?)…

Should I ask the guys for what their intentions are?


1|0
12|19

Most Helpful Guy

  • well if you dont want a boyfriend than why the hell are you dating them? but if you want one you see a future with and really want as a boyfriend than go for him
    but all in all you need to decide on what you really want, guys are not going to decide that for you, no matter how many you date.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Well. Thank you for advice... This is my problem. I would love a boyfriend soon in the near future. But I can't really see who is the for anything serious. I feel like some of them are only there for sex which I have told them straight out that I am not giving them, but this hasn't scared them away which I don't understand. They are waiting for me to give up? I don't know. One of the guys I like quite much, but he told me he wasn't looking for a girlfriend. Which sucks... but we get along so well. I have seen him twice, but we talked for four months everyday before meeting each other... I don't even know. I guess I should ditch him too. I can't make him like me more than a friend or a fuck.

    • Show All
    • i see, and the best years are when your young, especially when you find "the one" and spend as much time as you can have with them in life, because trust me life is short, gotta go for what you really need in life before its too late.

    • Thank you for your answer! You are saying a lot of good things. I agree. I want to find the one, one day.. That would be lovely!

Most Helpful Girl

  • ... I am only dating for fun.
    So Continue your Flow with each Joe here, dear. Just Schedule out your 'Taking over my own time' so you can make the 'Time' for Everyone. It's not that Hard to Multitask each Man at Hand or anyone Else on your List.
    I commend you for going Slow with each Joe. It appears They are Not in any hurry to Settle down, just to Date and not find a Mate any time too soon, so go with the Flow.
    Don't Over think anything. You will Begin this Beguine of Getting Muddled brain and it will become a Real Drain for you. If there is any One of them who is Only after 'One thing,' then Forget him and Narrow it down who is the Best from the Rest.
    No, Silence is the Golden Goose in 'Should I ask the guys for what their intentions are' or you will End up an "Old Maid" to Sort of Speak when they Hurry and Scurry back into the Murky waters from which they Came out of from getting Cold Duck feet at the thoughts of What your Statement could mean in Regards to Possibly... Being Hooked at the Hip.
    BTW: Do not tell any of them about the Other.
    Good luck. xx

    1|0
    0|0
    • *Be friends with them, nothing heavy so no one gets hurt. xx

    • Thank you, dear, for the Like and the Vote of Confidence. xx

What Guys Said 18

  • Yeah, and I'm screwing Megan Fox right now, with Jessica Alba waiting on the other room...

    -___-

    2|1
    0|0
    • Haha, no this is really true! My friends are as shocked as you guys. I don't even know what I am doing anymore. It is actually just 5 guys. Three of them I have kinda ditched (one of those guys is my ex boyfriend of 4 years).

  • Is anyone of them really a potential relationship to you? If no, then make it clear to them that you will not further date them.

    #problemsolved

    2|1
    0|0
    • that is agood question. the guy that I mention is a potential... but I really don't think he wants a girlfriend right now, at least that is what he said. We talk everyday but it is more of a friendship even if we have kissed a lot.

  • Jesus you have got to be someone famous... nope not even then. Narrow down your options to 3. Then write things about each of them that you like or dislike and whoever is the clear winner date.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Haha, no. I wish I was famous... I am as shocked as you! THANK YOU :D

  • How do you keep everything straight, do you can them the wrong name sometimes lmao

    0|0
    0|0
    • I have nicknames. Haha, don't judge me. Haha

  • So you dating guys and you have no boyfriend and you want to know what their intentions are. You're right it is crazy but it's crazy because your crazy. Decide which one you would sleep with them that's the one you date the rest can go by the wayside

    0|1
    0|0
    • Hahaha, ok. I guess I am kinda crazy, but this has just spiraled to something that I didn't want. Thank you!

  • Lmfaoo and you haven't had sex with em yet why

    1|0
    0|0
    • cause I only have sex with someone that is exclusive with me...

  • This is the most insane yet innately relatable thing I have ever read

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well that was irespomsible

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're trolling !

    0|0
    0|0
    • No. I am not.. I wish I was though. :/

    • Show All
    • Ok I believe you. No way I'd ever get in line for any woman. I don't play #2 to anything or anyone. Especially other guys. Fuck that shit !

    • Haha, no and you shouldn't either... but I am sure many of these guys also date other women than just me (one of them even told me).

  • Choose 3 out of the 8. And from those 3, choose the winner...

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thank you. So how do I tell the other guys that I am not intrested without being rude?

    • Just tell them, that you're seeing someone else. Each of them separately. And don't say anything about the number of guys you are dating. And if they ask you, tell them to stop being bitter and get a life... Trust me, you're doing these schmucks a favour.

    • thank you. this is good advice :D

  • Please tell me you are trolling

    0|0
    0|0
    • noop. but I have gotten rid of some of them now. I only have 4 :)

    • Wow ok

  • Troll

    0|0
    0|0
    • noop! I am not. This is possible actually. It isn't 8 guys.. it is actually just 5.

  • Guys, make sure you read what this girl has to say very very carefully. Now after you have done that never ever forget it and remember it the next time you think you want to commit to a girl in this hookup culture.

    You are just a plate, a meal or a shoulder to cry on. Remember that!

    Give them nothing!

    2|2
    0|0
    • Show All
    • honey... why aren't girls aloud to explore as much as men? what is the problem with dating multiple (I am not having sex with any of them. I am not giving empty promises) at the same time? you are being bitter for nothing right now :(

    • Girls can and do explore as much as they want to. Just because I think that it is cheap, does not mean I am bitter. This goes for both men and women.

      However, most people are likely to look down on it more for women than men because a man has to put in a lot more effort to attract, approach, better himself, workout, know what to say, risk rejection and be the hunter to date multiple women (or even one).

      Generally all a woman has to do is wait to be approached and put on a nice outfit... sometimes they don't even have to do that.

      People instinctively appreciate less that which they did not need to work for.

      Who do you admire more? the guy that worked his ass off, took risks, challenged himself and finally met his dreams of being rich, or the guy that just happened to stumble onto a case of Gold one day.

      Most people will admire the one that put in the work.

      It's the same reason why I get people complimenting me on my physique, it took work and dedication... unlike implants.

  • Make them all fist fight each other and whoever wins gets to bang you.

    0|0
    0|0
    • HAHAH!

    • Show All
    • hahaha, you are funny ;)

    • Why thank you. I feel flattered :P

  • well thats simple. do them all a favor and stop seeing them asshole.

    1|0
    0|0
    • They are not assholes, but yea. Got to do something with it. This is why I asked. So please give me advice :)

    • Show All
    • many of those guys date other people too... so I am an asshole for doing the same? I don't understand your opinion

    • two wrongs dont make a right and many isn't all so you are just as much an asshole as the ones that are seeing others.

  • Can I give you my audition?

    0|0
    0|0
  • no such thing as the friendzone

    0|0
    0|0
    • no. but a friend (not a close one)... I don't believe in friendzoning guys...

    • Show All
    • ok... so I can't friend them (according to you), so I should?

    • im just sayin

  • mmmm bad girl ;)

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 11

  • First off I don't even know how you have the patience and time to do these! Figure out what you want in your future and see if one really stands out and wants the same.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thank you for your advice. I am starting to get as confused as you trust me. I have really messed up

  • gosh share with the rest of the girls!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm just impressed anyone can juggle that many people! How the fuck do you date 8 guys at the same time? There's only 7 days in a week ffs!

    0|0
    0|0
    • I am only juggling 5 guys actually. the other once I don't talk to so much.

  • holy smokes girl you got your own bachelorette going on for you. How do you remember all them names? --.--

    0|0
    0|0
  • 0|0
    0|0
    • Trust me. I have a brain. I got A on all my exams some days ago.. Haha, and my parents raised me right :)

    • Show All
    • umm... yes. I don't see why I must be dumb just because of this. this doesn't defind me as a person. stop being so judgmental. I am sure you done worst. :) and no I am not sleeping with any of them, so you can't call me names (since you love to judge so hard).

    • hmmm... why do people always say You judging when You are just saying what You see? Get one to know one. ;] ... judging me for being "judgmental" , to wanting to call You names, I've done worst? But believe me, I did not even start judging... and I won't as I don't care about neither of Your affairs or what You do, if You're sleeping with them or not. It' is Your life and I couldn't care less.
      You're response is another answer but that's is not of a matter now, as I said I do not care what You do or who You are but I do care about people don't showing respect to others and there feelings... If I may, I would like to give You a little advice. Do care about others, if You'll look around You'll see the world moves around everyone of us, not just one. As 8 could be having feelings for one and hoping for something more that they not know they will never get.
      The end, I won't speak no more.
      Forgive me if I offended You as I see I did. Hope You have a good life.

  • Ahahahaha oh my god what a mess. Okay. Uh. You have to dump them. Dump all of them except the one you actually like. There.

    0|0
    0|0
    • This is actually the best advice I have gotten from the girl.

    • girls*

  • O.0 8 guys wow lol

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yepp... or actually just 5.

    • Let get this straight ur not looking for a boyfriend at the time and just want to date for fun while at the same time u don't want to lose any of them and want to stay as friends with them 0.0 well I think the best thing to do is reject all of them tell them you just want to be friends with them and if u want to date for fun just hang out with ur friends its better to free your self from all the drama now before u get in more deep

    • I don't have any problem with losing any of them. I just don't want to be harsh about it. One of the guys I "dumped" cause he was just too clingy. He still calls me from time to time. I have tried to ignore him at least 50 times... impossible! What I am trying to say is some of them have a hard time handling rejection and react in the craziest ways...

      I hang out with my friends all the time, and family! :) but yea. It is time to clean up my life a bit cause it is getting too dramatic for my taste.

  • Interesting. If a boy had posted this, a number a girls would have clawed him by now.

    0|0
    0|0
    • have you read the comments guys posted on this? lol

    • Show All
    • I can understand that, you remind me of a close friend. However, you really dont want to lead people on as that can produce results more detrimental than just rejecting them in the first place.

    • True! Thank you. by next month all of those guys will be out of my life. I'll keep you guys updated

  • i can see how that can happen. i had so many mail in my 20s and i could have gone out with everyone. but i didn't. i did go out with a lot. but after the first date, i usually know. so you have to know what you want.
    write a list for the things you want in a guy. you don't go on dates to just go for fun. you need to have some standards.
    it may seem mean but i didn't want anyone who din't have a college degree
    i didn't want anyone who live more than an hour away.
    just to give you some examples.

    now that my situation is diff. i still have some standards,
    i would talk to them first kinda like an interview, so i was talkng/texting with a lot of guys then i meet them if the phone conversation went well.

    so in essence, you are narrowing down those you don't want to waste your / their time.

    ask yourself what it is you are looking for?

    1|0
    0|0
  • Let go of the guys you don't see a future with. They aren't there to amuse you.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Let go of the hottie who just wants sex, too. You're already attached.

    • I know.. I need to gradually. I need to just go one on more date with him... :/

  • Girl, I find it extremely hard to tolerate one, let alone eight...
    I don't know how you can manage that. :p

    1|0
    0|0
    • It is starting to get out of control.. someone needs to go. It is just hard to say no to some

Loading...