Shouldn't communication between 2 people dating commensurate as time goes on and the relationship seems to be moving forward emotionally?

When dating begins, there's no attachment... yet. There's just excitement. Now about 3 months pass, there been physical contact several times and feelings/attachments are growing. He says 'I love you' and that he wants more. I don't have those feelings yet, and honestly it kinda bothered me him saying that so soon, but there's definitely an attachment/bond made. He didn't reach out all the time, everyday, in the beginning bit he did make some time to talk. And i guess that kinda remained the same throughout our "relationship". But as the attachment grew for me and he expressed his feelings, shouldn't he be texting/calling more and having deeper conversations in hopes of getting to know each other further?
because that's what I was expecting, I realize that now. I did end it because it didn't seem he was trying to put effort into getting to know me. (FYI, this is a long distance thing... MD-NY. Also he has a job where he has to be on the phone all day.)
He only was starting to make time when he wanted to see in person and most of that time was spent on sex. I didn't like the pattern and it's hard for me to do the friends with benefits thing if I know there's feelings and attachments made.
If he was interested truly, shouldn't he have wanted to make more time to talk on the phone?


What Guys Said 1

  • No you both gotta put in the effort. If you want to tall and be texted all the time mention something we ain't mind readers. And if he's on the phone at work I ighly doubt he wants to be on the phone with his girl all night. Thats why he was so excited to do stuff with you in person.

    • I'm a very verbal and open person so I made myself clear about who i am and what I want. And I get what ur saying but even when he was with me, he was still on his damn phone. While we ate, or if I was the only the one eating he would be on phone, after sex in between sessions of sex. Like even just laying together after having sex, I still didn't have his full attention b/c he would reach for his phone and check fb. Like one arm was around me and the phone was in his other hand. It was a bit frustrating. I get having a job and being committed to it, but if he was saying i love yous and saying he wanted more, then shouldn't he have put in a just bit more effort on his part? Honestly could say I love u to a person if u really don't know them and haven't had many deep convos?

    • Show All
    • 3mo

      I think he's somehow addicted to social media. He cares what others think and how they see him. He posted this pic and captioned it with this amazing thing he did for a stranger. I won't take that away from him but it's like he won't even put that kind of effort into an actual real live in your face person, but he definitely would for strangers and the so called 3000+ friends he has on fb. Ehh...

    • 3mo

      Yeah he needs to see someone know one needs 3000 friends. Definitely has an addiction

What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe he was really tired of being on the phone the entire day and just wanted to be near you? He told you he loved you and you weren't ready which is perfectly fine, yet that might also have contributed to him backing off even more.
    You also might have needed different things from a relationship. Did you sit down and really ask him what he expected from a relationship? There are some women who fall head over heels with men they don't know that well.
    I honestly think that in the end you did the right thing for you :) Don't second guess your decisions. You'll know if you've made the right or wrong one by ending it.

  • "shouldn't he be texting/calling more and having deeper conversations in hopes of getting to know each other further"
    Sadly, not everyone wants that.

    "He only was starting to make time when he wanted to see in person and most of that time was spent on sex."
    I am sorry, but I don't think that person is serious about you.

    • So the people that don't want deep convos in order to get to know someone better, do they not want anything serious then?