By online dating, I'm referring to sites like Ok Cupid, Match, E-Harmony, Christian Mingle, J-Date... and apps like Tinder. I want to hear about your experiences, positive and negative. I also want to know how useful these sites/apps were for entering an actual relationship, not for hooking up / casual sex / NSA.
Most Helpful Guy
I've flirted with it before. I didn't get much interest. Just women that I'm, to be politically uncorrect, way out of their league, at least in terms of the logistics of dating. All the women that I was interested in and messaged, didn't respond.
Actually what I'd say was going on is this. Firstly you need to be aware of the psychology of it, and how peoples' minds work. ie, if you have forlorn selfies, one or two of you pondering the nature of existence in your bedroom, you're not going to get many bites from women. Women can get away with being aloof and beautiful like that. Men typically have to portray a more social and outgoing image, least that's what I imagine. If you can project the image of social power, then you're going to attract more of it. And I'm sort of eluding to the tragedy of dating websites and dating in general, and their 'unnaturalness'. It's all very calculated, and hardly dreamy romantic if one is check-boxing all the time. There's a lot of tragic people on there, trying to find a means to desperately get away from their tragedy and find that validation or quick thrill they are seeking.
Like all things, it's a question of intent. What are you true motivations. If one goes there, with innocent eyes, wholeheartedly, and is not there to deceive any body, or escape from anything, then of course, it's just another medium to meet people. The whole hearted thing is important. Actually uploading a decent set of photos, putting some thought into your profile, etc. What you put in, you get out, it's not just a case of being there. The same applies to going to social gatherings in general. Go to the same event, and make the effort to talk to people and be open, and one will get dramatically different results. Also, I think on the positive, it can expand the potentiality of the people you can meet manifold. There's lots of interesting people out there. I really think it's like social media in general. It just fans, positive or negative, what you are already doing.
Of course, one could make a deeper argument about conscious control in the first place. We think we have conscious control of the happenings around us, but really, conscious 'control' is the mind's means of deluding us into thinking that we're not working to the subconscious forces within us. The truth about my 'rejections' were, I wasn't really into it, I was just playing... Sort of, if you're feeling me, to make this more 'down' and Gag friendly.2
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Most Helpful Girl
i've been on Tinder and OkCupid:
on Tinder: I did meet someone nice, but I broke it off because of my studies.
it's really nice because compared to OkCupid you only get to chat with people you had a match.
My friend and her older sister found their current boyfriend (both relationships have lasted more than a year and they are going out even today).
on OkCupid: i did meet someone where the chat conversation was going very well, but when we met= no connection at all (worst date ever), so after that, we haven't wrote or talked anymore. It's really fun (in my opinion) that you can answer questions from different categories and there is %match with the other people that have answered too. but on this website, anybody can start a chat/writing to you.2