How has online dating panned out for you?

By online dating, I'm referring to sites like Ok Cupid, Match, E-Harmony, Christian Mingle, J-Date... and apps like Tinder. I want to hear about your experiences, positive and negative. I also want to know how useful these sites/apps were for entering an actual relationship, not for hooking up / casual sex / NSA.

How has online dating panned out for you?





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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've flirted with it before. I didn't get much interest. Just women that I'm, to be politically uncorrect, way out of their league, at least in terms of the logistics of dating. All the women that I was interested in and messaged, didn't respond.

    Actually what I'd say was going on is this. Firstly you need to be aware of the psychology of it, and how peoples' minds work. ie, if you have forlorn selfies, one or two of you pondering the nature of existence in your bedroom, you're not going to get many bites from women. Women can get away with being aloof and beautiful like that. Men typically have to portray a more social and outgoing image, least that's what I imagine. If you can project the image of social power, then you're going to attract more of it. And I'm sort of eluding to the tragedy of dating websites and dating in general, and their 'unnaturalness'. It's all very calculated, and hardly dreamy romantic if one is check-boxing all the time. There's a lot of tragic people on there, trying to find a means to desperately get away from their tragedy and find that validation or quick thrill they are seeking.

    Like all things, it's a question of intent. What are you true motivations. If one goes there, with innocent eyes, wholeheartedly, and is not there to deceive any body, or escape from anything, then of course, it's just another medium to meet people. The whole hearted thing is important. Actually uploading a decent set of photos, putting some thought into your profile, etc. What you put in, you get out, it's not just a case of being there. The same applies to going to social gatherings in general. Go to the same event, and make the effort to talk to people and be open, and one will get dramatically different results. Also, I think on the positive, it can expand the potentiality of the people you can meet manifold. There's lots of interesting people out there. I really think it's like social media in general. It just fans, positive or negative, what you are already doing.

    Of course, one could make a deeper argument about conscious control in the first place. We think we have conscious control of the happenings around us, but really, conscious 'control' is the mind's means of deluding us into thinking that we're not working to the subconscious forces within us. The truth about my 'rejections' were, I wasn't really into it, I was just playing... Sort of, if you're feeling me, to make this more 'down' and Gag friendly.

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    • so basically... if you don't lie about who you are or what you look like or why you're on that dating site/app, then you're good.

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    • That's what I asked lol... I feel like 2 of the 3 stooges atm

    • @BelleGirl21 I'm so confused. I'll leave it here. I can sense Kiri's piercing venomous eyes in the back of my head right now! There's no leagues baby. Just affinity! You think you're inferior or superior, then you create that reality!

Most Helpful Girl

  • i've been on Tinder and OkCupid:
    on Tinder: I did meet someone nice, but I broke it off because of my studies.
    it's really nice because compared to OkCupid you only get to chat with people you had a match.
    My friend and her older sister found their current boyfriend (both relationships have lasted more than a year and they are going out even today).

    on OkCupid: i did meet someone where the chat conversation was going very well, but when we met= no connection at all (worst date ever), so after that, we haven't wrote or talked anymore. It's really fun (in my opinion) that you can answer questions from different categories and there is %match with the other people that have answered too. but on this website, anybody can start a chat/writing to you.

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    • i gotcha. that makes sense. so you don't waste time trying to hit it off with someone who is likely not compatible.

      why was there no connection in person? like no physical attraction? or were you guys nervous?

    • The guy I met on Tinder: I felt we had a connection when we talked together: i did felt physically to him and we were kind of very nervous on our first meeting, but it went way better than I expected. The guy I met on OkCup: online, when we chatted, the conversation was going very well and fluently but in person: i felt no connection and no attraction at all: I guess the only reason why I went through that meeting: it was because I wanted to confirm my first idea of him in the last hour, which was : I didn't see myself with him. So after that meeting we didn't contact each other again.

      For sure, the first time you met him you are really nervous, but don't set the bar too high on this meeting: because it won't be a deception if it doesn't work but it will be an amazing surprise if you both had a great time :D Don't be fooled by the online/texting conversation :p

    • i guess it depends on yourself and on the person who interests you on these websites: for some of my friends it didn't work (they didn't found a suitable person for them yet) but for some of them they found their current boyfriend/girlfriend :) don't give up and try to meet other people from your circles of friends :)

What Guys Said 41

  • I met my ex-wife on Plenty of Fish. We were married for 4 years. The problems in our marriage were not attributable to us meeting online. I met my current girlfriend online and we have been dating for one year. Overall, I am pleased with online dating. I have also tried match. com, had less success on that site and got more scammers trying to hit me for money.

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    • oh wow... so... was it hard to get a response? some guys on here are saying it's impossible to get a girl to respond to them.

  • While is hasn't worked out I am glad they are out there. I use POF and Tinder. Once I used Match but it was such a horrible site I told them to F off and will not use it.
    For me it is the only way I would be able to date. I work from home. My family was my whole life. When my wife threw her family away, that left me alone. I have one friend but he has a family of his own and we rarely can get together.
    even when I was young, I hated bars. Plus I am not looking for a relationship with anyone in a bar. I am not religious. So there is no way to meet anyone if there wasn't online.
    I had a relationship for 8 months with one woman. Though I admit I stayed in it longer then I should have. but I have met a lot of women, had a lot of sex and am generally happy with the results.

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  • I just tried Tinder for a day - not to date or hook up, but just to see what the fuss was all about. Swiped right on EVERY woman (more than 200 of them) and got ZERO matches. Surely I'm not that unattractive! Lol!

    But that was during the time I still used to live in India, and most Indian women are averse to dating anyway!

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    • how long have you been in australia?

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    • no problem :) glad you're having a positive time there. i've only heard great things about the people there from my cousin, hope for the same for you!

    • Thanks once again! Yeah, it's a lovely country with nice people. I just hope I can adapt eventually!

  • There are females on dating apps?

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  • For guys... its a complete flop.

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  • hmmmm it made me depressed for a full week and id never been depressed before. most of the messages i sent got no response, the ones that do only responded once or twice, the others only want friendship (why are they even there? go to facebook friendly jerk), so about 2-3 a month are actually interested in dating. 2 of them flop off eventually sooner or later for no given reason and the last one screws it up on their own.

    the few times it actually does go good its fun but something always messes it up and id been led on twice for a few months before so nnow i always have to ask very specific questions and tell them im not looking for friends and stuff which is annoying because im a easy going guy.

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    • so you think cold approaches or approaching people already in your life has been a more successful method for you?

    • maybe. i dont go out much and i get really scared to ask women out in public. its like i want to just skip right over the asking out phase because its so bad.

  • I've been in a few long distance relationships but I never go to dating websites they're fake and honestly a waste of time from my point of view. But they've worked out fine for me in the past, I prefer to meet people in real life, but I don't close off the option of meeting someone online either, as you only limit yourself that way. The technology is there I mean miles well use it right?

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  • Complete crap. Especially the one site with the guy that looks like grandpa but lies. . .

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    • e-harmony i think

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    • i see what you mean. maybe at that point, you have to hope your friends can connect you with someone...

    • I keep telling all my married friends that it is in the marriage contract, that they are obligated to try to get their single friends connected!! Nobody believes me!!:)
      It seems like the right thing to do, though, I mean, for your friends? I would...

  • worked for me. met my wife via online dating

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    • wow, congrats :) was she one of the first people you met off the site?

    • no, not by far. i think i had started an account and tried it for about 4 months before getting discouraged and quitting it. then about 3 years later figured i'd try again. i think was on it for a little over a year and probably met about 10 people (give or take) before meeting my future wife

  • Never done online dating, don't trust it plus it's not the same as asking out a person in person.
    www.askideas.com/.../...ating-Funny-Meme-Image.jpg

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    • how often do you approach someone in person?

    • When the planets are perfectly aligned, the moon is full, the sky is pink and the temperature is exactly 68.29 degrees.

  • I have still never met one sadly. I find it much easier to talk to and get to know someone in person.. I can't easily have a decent conversation online because it doesn't feel real. Also not many girls seem that serious about actually wanting to meet, like they're on the site because they're fed up of not being able to find a "decent guy" but when it comes to it they don't really want to go through with it it's just easier for them to go with guys they know in real life. I think a lot of people are very nervous about meeting new people in formal situations.

    Which is actually why the last first date I went on we just drove around. Just a casual drive and me showing her some hot spots as I'm from the place and she's not. We barely knew each other at all, we had never really spoke. So just taking a drive worked. I don't believe in overly formal first dates.

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  • Tinder or gtfo the other sites are for losers I think

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  • It's crap
    Tried them all
    Only the extras my attractive guys ever get anything
    The rest of us are left with people who are kinda undatable
    If your hot then your golden
    If your a average guy then it's crap

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    • that applies to women too though. every dude wants the super hot girl lol.

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    • yeah. i think life would be a lot simpler if more of us were open about what we wanted. I don't know why, over time, that openness gets squashed lol.

    • I don't either
      I'll make a long story short
      I have delt with fake was my whole life
      I'm an extremely open person as a result
      It leads to tension sometimes with others
      But any friends I have appreciate that part of me

  • It sucked was for me. It sucks for guys for the most part

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  • Not much luck here. Have used them on and off for several years, and have had 8-10 in-person dates, none of which panned out.

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  • Online dating fucking sucks. Utter garbage quality women... if I am even fortunate enough to get someone to respond to me. The rest don't even reply.

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    • what is garbage quality to you?

    • Completely unhealthy, either physically or mentally. Unable to hold conversations and expect me as a guy to do all the work. Their lack of ability to initiate. Too afraid to talk about subjects I enjoy talking about. Just women who waste my fucking time.

    • i gotcha. thanks for explaining.

  • I tried two of those... Never had any luck. Only met one girl the entire time, and we are only friends. All the girls on them said they are looking for relationships and are tired of the same crap so I thought I might have a good chance at finding one. Problem is I think the dating apps are for hookups and fwb's, at least where I live. My advice, be careful and don't expect anything if you try it. It was a waste of my time

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    • i see. i thought that same- that they're mainly for hooking up and fwbs, but some people here have had long-term relationships which resulted in marriages via online dating

  • I've never attempted it.

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  • It hasn't.

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    • :( why do you think that is?

    • Because I have the worst luck in the world. I csnt get the type of girl I want, and the chicks I get to message me back aren't all that attractive, are weird as fuck, or eventually lose interest. The attractive ones are just there for the ego boost.

  • i´ll just list my experience from the male perspective, using dating sites:

    1. most girls are hostile by default, cause they are so pissed off buy guys asking for ONS or sending dick picks

    2. catfishing is a huge issue. girls are fat but fotoshop their pics so you don´t see it and when you meet them, you get a nice, big surprise...

    3. there are so many chat bots and fake accounts that try to get you into shady pay sites that you won´t bother saying more than "hi" as your first texts but for most "real" girls this isn´t enough and they´ll just ignore you

    4. if you want to find a decent girl that you actually would like to date, you have to literally sift through tens of thousands. and if you finally did it, she will probably end up not liking you xD

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  • Lol. Eh, yes and no. I've found some that I've really liked and got into a relationship with, and some where the woman turned out to be... a bit less of an upstanding person.

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    • what do you mean by a bit less upstanding? like a scammer?

    • Nah, not scammers or anything, just not so great of people or people that are superbly damaged.

  • I found this girl on tinder she is great but she is out of my league, not in looks but as a person overall we did date once but well, I was so shy and nervous it obviously didn't work out, apart from that, i did get laid once through the app but that's about it

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  • rarely amounts to anything... especially for men. I prefer cold approaching

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  • I haven't tried it but I'll give it a shot

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  • Tried using it once. Too many fakes around.
    Nah, I don't like online dating. There are plethora of opportunities meeting women in real life.

    Would never use online dating, personally.

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    • do you mean that after meeting them, you realize they used someone else's pictures?

    • Never even met anyone in real life. Didn't go this far. Turned out the "girl" I conversed with online was actually a guy, or a girl who was not who she told she was. Yes, fake pictures, fake info, etc. Not worth it, for me at least.
      It works and did work for others, though. So try it out, if you want.

  • Pretty good actually, just take it slow remember for online dating its quantity over quality

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    • No see I only accept high quality even though I'm slightly above average looking so real life is much better.

    • not... quality over quantity?

  • Worked well. Very well actually.

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  • Never tried it and likely never will try it.

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  • Tried online dating during Orkut days.
    Done and dusted.

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  • The same as regular real life dating... Even my right hand wouldn't date me

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What Girls Said 34

  • I had many fun dates and met many different kinds of people. I got one short term relationship (6 months) and then met my current guy a year and a half ago on POF.

    Of course I had some bad turns, but they were all laughable. If you don't expect too much and just have fun, online can be a viable dating tool.

    The thing to do is opt for the paid features. People who are looking for more serious things are more likely to pay and seek others who have paid.

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  • I met the love of my life on Tinder and have never been happier in a relationship. I'm all for it. I've had bad and good experiences off it but meeting my match made everything worth it.

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  • I haven't used them but my mom found my step dad on a dating website and they have been together for 13 years and married for 10 of those years

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    • oh wow. did they use e harmony? that's the only site i knew that was up and running back then (i think) lol.

    • I highly doubt that was the only one but I really don't know. I

  • Currently talking to a pretty cute dude from tinder that I matched with last night so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ we'll see.

    Last dude from tinder ended up ghosting me but he had a kid anyways so meh

    I don't see me being this dudes type tho so I'm confused about it all.

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  • Used tinder wechat and skout before. I stopped using after I've entered a relationship. Found my boyfriend through skout. I never really like tinder because physical appearance is highly valued there. I'm not saying i'm ugly though, imjust don't like the idea of not having the priveledge to send a person a message just because he/she doesn't find you attractive.

    Over all, I've also noticed that there are more fake female accts than male. And based on the stories i hear from the guys I've met there, there are lots of gold digging girls out there too. I guess that's the reason guys have more bad experiences than girls.

    But it's not all bad. There are still good people you can find there. I was able to have friends from different countries because of skout. And also, i met my boyfriend (10 months and counting) and my ex there. 😊

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  • i haven't tried

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  • Tried OKCupid for a while. Men claim they're there for "dating and LTR" but if you don't throw yourself at them or bring up sex within the first few messages they don't want to talk to you for long. The few that actually responded that is. The one guy I was able to have an extended conversation with was just looking for a Green Card... and that's when I took my profile down.

    TL;DR It was a waste of effort and money.

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    • You PAID for it? Oh my.

      If it's any consolation, as bad as your experience was, it's even WORSE for the overwhelming majority of men.

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    • I know that you have to pay for certain features, which differs from site to site. On OKStupid, if you want to filter out the fats you have to pay.

      Prostitutes would have been OK by me. At least they would reply, and you know if you pays your money, you gets what you wants.

    • oh dear :( that doesn't sound too good.

  • I found my boyfriend on an online game and it's the best relationship I've ever been in. :)

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  • If I was single I'd give it a go. Not tinder ever lol. It's straight up farmersonly. com or nothing for me 😉

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  • I've only used tinder for dating, no hookups or anything haha
    Went on a date with a complete idiot. Bad experience haha

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    • tinder always struck me more as a hook up app as opposed to dating actually :x so you only met one guy off of it?

  • My top 3 rules :
    1. No online dating
    2. No distant relationships
    3. Remember 1st and 2nd rule

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  • Never tried it but I'm kinda interested in giving it a shot.

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    • same. kind of. I don't know. lol. watch me get murdered or something.

  • They pretty much all suck LOL it's just easier to meet someone in person and connect on that level. Then having to answer a bunch of questions and swipe through a bunch of people. It's hard to get to know someone on a personal level if you're just looking for the next best thing and I think that's what internet dating kind of does to you

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    • gotcha. the whole answering a bunch of questions part does kind of... eliminate the romance lol, but i also think it can weed out people you just would never be into.

  • don''t want to try it tbh

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  • I've only used tinder and only to randomly flirt up people but I didn't even have intentions to meet them lol I was just bored. Online dating definitely isn't for me, I need that "sparks at first sight"-moment and you can't have that with people you've spent months getting to know and talking to on the Internet before..

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  • They're up and down. I've seen relationships fail because of it. But generally they help. Think it helps build a relationship before meeting without the anxiety of it. I mean my dad's engaged to a woman he met 3 years ago off match. com. a work friend used tinder and it's been 3 years and mine off plenty of fish is coming up a year

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  • I was on eHarmony for two months. Every guy I ended up talking to was either bigoted or just stupid. I haven't touched online dating since.

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    • i always thought e harmony was for older people... like... late 20s and up. were you looking for older guys or guys your age?

    • Older guys. There were more than a few my age, looking for something that would lead to marriage.

  • Haven't tried it yet honestly, but I might in the future.

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  • I met my boyfriend of 8 months on OK Cupid, things are going great!

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  • Overall, pretty good. I met my boyfriend on Tinder. Tinder can be whatever you want it to be, especially in a small town (like the honky backwater "city" I live in). I was originally on OKC, but there were only a few people on there and they were all a lot older than me. Tinder worked better in that situation.

    When I was back home, I had a fairly good go of it on OKC. If you put the filters on, you're going to get far less harassment. Make sure that you put "not interested in poly relationships/being a third wheel" if you're just looking to date one person. I got a lot of weird messages like that.

    You can filter messages by a certain age, as well, I believe. I found that men of a certain age (aka nearing 30) were verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry entitled. They thought the were owed my time and attention because they showed me a modicum of interest. That could just be my hometown though, but I rather doubt it, given my experiences here.

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  • I used to use it but i won't anymore. Just can't be bothered with it anymore. It's so awkward anyway

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  • I met the guy I currently am in love with 2 years ago on a dating app.

    Besides him, I've had a lot of positive experiences with them. Some negative, but more positive.

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  • I been with at least 10 guys online dating and they all lasted about a week each. Only 2 of them lasted about a year. So it was pretty worthless to me. Lots of fuck boys. So I'm back to just meeting in person rather then online

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  • Horrible

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  • I've never met a man online before. I don't really need a dating app YET.

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  • It's never worked for me. It's mostly guys being creepy as hell to me or the 80+ same messages of "hi". I found my boyfriend through a friend.

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  • Ok Cupid and tinder are all hook ups. Match and eharmony no sucess either but my friend met her husband in match.

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  • Terribly lol

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  • Nope.

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  • Haven't tried any of those but I met my boyfriend on an online forum.

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