Why do couples fight?

I love my boyfriend so much but we fight like every other week. We hate fighting with each other but it seems to always happen we still love each other afterwards but I can't help but think that it's not healthy or I'm doing something wrong. Then I hear that a lot of people fight which makes me confused. Why do couples fight if they love each other.

Updates:
I'm afraid it's going to go too far and we might break up. With his past girlfriends, they fought a lot he said. But now he promises he won't break up with me because of us fighting. I'm just afraid it will go too far and he'll break up with me cause I made it clear I wouldn't break up with him.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • What are you fighting about?

    Ultimately it's about the fact that you aren't communicating well around sensitive/challenging topics. That's not unusual. You two might want to look at a book on how to discuss difficult topics, and see if you can get some hints.

    In the mean time, if one person begins shouting, a good thing for the other person to say is "i really want to hear what you're saying, but right now all I can hear is that you're angry and yelling.". Get them to calm down and speak more clearly.

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    • We usually fight about us not being able to hang out as much and sometimes he takes what I say out of context.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Loving someone is all the more reason to fight, if you really think about it.

    You place more value on the things that your lover does than what you would with a regular person. Think about it: if a stranger on the street insults you, it sucks, but you can move on because you don't know or value them. If you lover insults you, it cuts you deeper because you value what they say so much more. So if you feel wronged by your lover, it could easily cause sparks to fly for a lot of people.

    There is also the whole issue of spending soooo much time together; put yourself in a place with one person long enough and you're bound to learn all of their annoying quirks and flaws.

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What Guys Said 13

  • Rationally, it can be credited to how unnatural relationships are. Humans invented this system of coupling (mostly monogamous) in order to establish family-based societies through which they can preserve culture, impose laws, enforce security, introduce social classes among other things.

    Socially, it can be viewed as the couple's way of keeping the relationship alive and reigniting the spark of their love by continually overcoming their differences and reconciling with one another. Y'know, the whole 'love conquers all' rhetoric.

    Either way, who cares? Just learn to pick your battles and distinguish between issues that are worth arguing over and issues that aren't. I hope this helps. : )

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  • Well, fights happen but when they're too frequent they will indeed damage the relationship. Fights can happen for many reasons, you should think about what is starting your fights and then start working on it. Be sure to be more patient too, both of you.

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  • typically its a lack of communication or willingness to communicate. you can't fix your issues if you don't actively talk about it and when I say TALK I mean TALK not yell or argue. I see SO many couples who do not communicate effectively. I could go on a rant about this but unless someone is actually interested I'll just stick with that for now lol.

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  • You both need to calm down and talk about your disagreements calmly. Couples will always have their disagreements but the difference is how you handle them. You can have a fight or you can talk about it. And if you both care about eachother enough you will solve the problem.

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    • We do but something else pops up in a couple weeks or a month. Is that normal?

    • Yeah its pretty normal. I have a disagreement with my girlfriend almost every week. But we make a discussion out of it. And if at the end we both say i listened but still dont agree with you that is fine too. You are two different beings so there will be disagreements. What you might need to look out for is that you are both storing up all the little irritations you have till you both explode. It might be better for the relationship to speak about those little irritations and get them out of the way before it escalates into a fight.

  • High expectations. You don't fight with your friends as often because you don't have high expectations for them. But, you do have high expectations for the guy/girl you are dating.

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  • Couples fight because it's natural and at times healthy the latter though depends on the frequency.

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  • Miscommunication and lack of trust in each other and yourselves.
    That's the root of most arguments.

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  • to have make up sex.

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  • If you keep anticipating the break-up, it will more than likely happen.

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  • It could be that your expecting each other to act how you would act in the situation.

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  • i ask the same!

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  • cause u dont want to date yourself now, do you?

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  • Men and women were never made for each other. Concept of marriage and living with the one you love are all fallacies.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Me and my boyfriend fight too. Usually over petty stuff. I wouldn't call it "fights". More like differences or disagreements. I think it's because when two people are close to each other they become more sensitive to the other person and how they are being treated. They might pick up things differently than with friends and of course a partner is someone who is usually very close to you so it's easy to feel rejected or have different expectations of them as you would in normal circumstances.

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  • Fight usually originated from lack of communication. I do suggest to open up a debate before things get into the stage "fighting". Me and my boyfriend never fight. We always debate though. Like once in awhile, he or me will throw out a topic.. eg "What do you think about plastic surgery? " "Do you agree on people were born gay/leabian" "What is the definition of cheating for you " ... so throughout all these debates, we got more understanding with each other, I know his thoughts and Im open up when we have different ideas. So this would avoid any further argument on these topics in the futures as we know and understand each others thought already and we respect. Fighting would ruin a relationship in long run, try to debate, dont fight, every relationship is not easy, dont let something elevate to a fight..:) Good luck.

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  • Because we may love each other but we are all still people with big differences and we all think and feel different things. We're just as likely to argue with our partner as we are with our friends - even more likely, I guess, seeing as we tend to spend more one on one time with them.

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    • I'm afraid it's going to go too far and we might break up. With his past girlfriends, they fought a lot he said. But now he promises he won't break up with me because of us fighting. I'm just afraid it will go too far and he'll break up with me cause I made it clear I wouldn't break up with him.

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    • It's usually over things like we can't hang out all the time. Or he takes what I said out of context.

    • Yes I think couples argue a lot because they spend more time with them than friends

  • Usually the same reasons friends and family do.
    Maybe theyre both stressed or they're both getting worked up over things that matter to them etc.
    People fight, it's what happens.

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  • bad communication of misunderstanding... or a partner who wants to impose a lot on you

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  • They don't know how to communicate.

    I can never be in a relationship if we argue frequently. That to me is indeed unhealthy.

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  • Sometimes someone loves the other more or they get bored. They're tired of each other. Maybe money issues, cheating, or there are some who just picks fights because inside, they just don't want to be with the other person anymore.

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  • Poor communication skills is my guess. If you're only able to tell each other how you feel and what you think when you're fighting, you have a problem. If every minor disagreement turns into a massive fight, you have a problem.

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  • Fighting is a symptom of a lousy relationship. I don't mean fighting occasional I mean heavy duty fighting like you describe. You guys really don't get along you are looking for a reason to fight. And if the relationship is bad always find a reason

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  • People have their own opinions. Some people are stubborn and believe their way is the right way without listening to the other person's point of view. This makes things frustrating, and arguments ensue.

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