Boyfriend broke up with me because he thinks I was going through his phone?

My boyfriend was in an accident while we were cliff diving. While he was on flight for life an called his dad using his phone and saw a few explicit texts between him and a woman he used to be with. I asked him about it calmly and he flipped out and said that he doesn't want to be with a woman who goes through his phone. I honestly have never gone through his phone and he's never given me a reason to think anything, it was right there in the preview text when I looked down when I was frantically trying to find a signal and text or call his dad. I want to fix this somehow and tried to explain that I wasn't snooping. I don't know what to do now. He's so angry. And I'm not sure if he's just upset and we can get past this or if he's really done. I told him I thought we were at a point in our relationship where it didn't matter who saw what on who's phone. I wouldn't think twice if he picked up my phone.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • my phone is an open book for my girlfriend. Same with hers. she can check it whenever she wants. If that makes her feel secure. So be it. I have nothing to hide and neither does she.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should move on. Although I'll be honest I think he'll come back, I just don't think you should take him back. You didn't even intentionally go through his phone, AND he's clearly talking to other women, so why is this worth your time? AND ON TOP OF THAT, he's not willing to talk through it with you and just got mad and cut you off. Even if I gave you advice to try and sit down and talk to him about it, his natural reactions are already turning me off and it sounds like you're way more mature than he is about these things. Any problems you have in the future will be a similar struggle.

    There's nothing you can do but try and explain yourself, though I don't think he'll listen, he'll only talk to you on his own terms. Tell him that you just saw it in the previews and you didn't go through anything.

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What Guys Said 6

  • It seems like he was trying to hide it from you andgwtting angry is his way of defending himself. Making you feel bad for using/looking at his phone. If that is the case you are probably safer to leave him and move on as to me that is a sure sign he'll cheat on you in future if you stayed together

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  • He's been cheating on you. He thinks that you found out, and he's angry.

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  • He's probably mad at himself for you finding out. Whether it was going to become more or not you would have to decide for yourself.

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    • Thank you :) this woman is married and they have slept together but it was a long time ago and he said she messed with his head and hurt him really bad. But he still talked to her once in a while. I didn't have a problem with that because I trusted him. Just kinda stumbled upon it. I was in crisis mode with everything going on.

    • Sounds like he needs to get over her and what she did. Sounds like he keeps talking to her in hopes for her approval or something.

  • Sounds like he is guilty to me
    Like he is trying to make you feel bad and make it seem like you're the guilty one
    Dump his ass

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  • You went through his phone. If you were using the phone to call his dad, there would be absolutely ZERO reason to be in his texts.

    Regardless of "where you are in the relationship"... Women ALWAYS use this bullshit. "I wouldn't care if he looked at my phone". Men are different than women. YOU never look at our phone, ever. Women find ways of controlling men, they take things out of context, they use the "I'm not comfortable with..." bullshit to stop us from basic interactions with friends who are female.
    In your case there may have been explicit texts, they may not have been recent, and if they were then his actions would have come out eventually.

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    • She just said she saw the message in the text preview though.

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    • Your lies are transparent.
      If you were using the phone to call his father you had no reason to check his text at all.

      I am not saying these texts are right, but you should not have saw them in the method you did. You essentially proved to him that he was wrong in saying "I think I found a good woman"... so if he had doubt you sealed it.

    • My lies? I'm not going back and forth with you but what I said was I texted and called his dad. We were in the mountains with very little coverage and was trying to get ahold of him different ways. I did have a reason to be in his texts.

  • but thats the point, u do care whats on his phone

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What Girls Said 8

  • I doubt he broke up with you just because he thinks you "snooped." He probably just wanted a reason to end it if he was cheating. Considering he's sending explicit messages to other women, why would you want to continue being with him anyway? I know you're probably hurt by the breakup, that's normal, but maybe it was for the best.

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  • I saw your previous post about this, but what I'm not understanding is why you want to be with him after finding out he's been messaging his ex in a non-platonic way?

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  • He's trying to deflect his guilt from being caught onto you by getting angry at you for apparently 'snooping' on his phone. You dodged a bullet here.

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  • You found out he was cheating so he tried to make you feel like you were the reason you broke up because he didn't want to admit to being a pig.

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  • he's trying to break up with u

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  • He doesn't want to be with you and It is his excuse for break up.

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  • Break up with them

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  • Maybe you need a break to let him think over this.
    It could be a temporal anger, he might get over it once he calms down.

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