Guy didn't let me eat on date only drink and he told the waiter to take my menu is that rude?

I met a guy on a dating app. He asked me to meet for drinks after work. He knew I was coming directly from work and we met in the city so we both traveled there.

We went to a restaurant and ordered drinks. The waiter kept asking if we want food and my date said no, no food, take the menus away.

He didn't even ask if I want food or if I ate or what. I found that super inconsiderate.

What do you think?

Updates:
The weird part is he texted me that he asked me out again

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Most Helpful Guy

  • After work drinks means after work drinks. It's the standard dating app first date where I live. It does NOT mean dinner.

    It's normal to have to tell the waitstaff repeatedly you don't want more than drinks, and everyone else getting after work drinks is having that same conversation.

    Now was he ignoring obvious signs from you? Maybe.

    Or was he behaving totally normally given his assumption you were just there for drinks? Maybe.

    Is there a reason you didn't just say when the server came by 'can I see the menu for appetizers' or something?

    While this guy may lack any sort of social skills (or be a jerk) you really shouldn't show up for after works starving, or if you do, be ready to pull out your own credit card, order some food and let him know you haven't gotten a chance to eat much.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd say it's inconsiderate but it could have been a communication issue too. He could have asked, but maybe he just thought you wanted a drink for the first date and that was it. He might not have very good communication skills and he didn't realize that he was being inconsiderate. I'd give him a second chance, and if he continues with that, don't go for third.

    Around here, when we go on first dates, it's usually just a coffee date and if you like each other, you move on to dinner dates and etc. If it were me, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt just in case.

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What Guys Said 21

  • That is extremely inconsiderate. I would guess that he was wanting to get you drunk (and then have sex) and that is quicker, of course, if you haven't eaten. Even if that is not his reason, this was very rude behavior and enough of a warning sign that you should drop him like a hot potato.

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  • yeah it sounds presumptive and controlling

    i don't think it's necessarily weird that he texted you for another date. perhaps he things things went well. but i wouldn't go on another date without addressing the fact that he can't order for you, that you speak for yourself

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  • While normally I just do drinks for a first date with someone online (tinder), this was rude for sure. I do drinks because you have no idea if you have any chemistry with this person, so a drink is cheap and easy to end early if you don't see it going anywhere. Now normally I progress to dinner, but I try not to start there. Either way, if you clearly just came from work and were hungry, and he did not explicitly say he just wanted to meet up for a drink or two then he was being rude, and likely cheap. I usually leave the menu on the table in case it progresses to food.

    So either he was rude, cheap or not interested in you and wanted the date to end! Either way, I would not meet him again lol

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  • yes!! rude. either didn't want to spend $ or wanted you drunk.

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  • WTF! lol yeah... it's fucking rude. I would have called him out on it. How does he know you're not hungry? You just got off work you're probably FUCKING hungry.

    He asked you out for just drinks. Neither of you had an expectation that he would pay for your food. Im thinking he wasn't aware how annoying that was.

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  • Hahaha, that's awesome!

    You met for DRINKS. He's already buying you a drink, now you want food too?

    You can thank all the women that go out with a man they have no interest in just to get a free meal. Men have caught on. That's why 'dating' has become 'hang out' or 'Netflix and chill'.

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  • wth.. Yes thats rude. thats incredibly rude and if I were you I would have stormed out. Who is he to tell you, you can't order something? and if he is controlling over a menu imagine what he would be controlling over if you were to actually date.

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  • It's easier to get you drunk if you haven't eaten...

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  • Rude as fuck. Completely selfish. Did he pay? Maybe he was ashamed cause he couldn't afford food too?

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  • Uhm strike 2 maybe... lol go with your intuitive perception breathe and yes it was rude hugz n smiles 🍀🐶🍀 as always I vote love

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  • Sorry what? I'm hungry, and I will order something if I want. Why didn't you?

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  • Yeah, that's rude. That is also troubling. He may have some controlling characteristics that you may have to be concerned over.

    Ask him next time. If he refuses you again, it's time to run. (Maybe kick him in the balls, too)

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  • Do you even have to ask such an obvious question?

    I'll just go on a tangent and say that online daring in general sucks. It's for people who are too ugly, too socially inept, or have too many issues to find someone IRL.

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  • can you talk? tell the waitress you want to order, you could of just ordered some appetizers if you guys didn't want a full meal

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  • True, he could have remembered he was with you. But... did you say you wanted the food?

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  • nice, very classy. who payed?

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  • bit of a dick move that he didn't ask you, but i dont think he meant it to be

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  • He sounds like an asshole. He could have least asked if you were hungry and got you something.

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  • He's trying to get u drunk

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  • yes he's a rude fuckwit you shouldn't meet up with him again

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  • Very rude don't go on 2nd date

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What Girls Said 13

  • I once met a guy on a Dating Site and when we went to Meet up, He took me out to Eat, thinking it was going to be a treat, and the next thing I know... We are Sharing a buffet in a plastic "To GO" container at our table.
    As I nibbled on my side, Disgusted as I saw him taking Forkfuls on his own Side, He told me He Had already Eaten a little while with Mom so he wasn't... Hungry?:
    I lost my appetite and never went out with him Again, not even as a Friend.
    Drop this Cold Potato, here, dear. He is showing you the First Red Flag Signs of More Bad Times of being Cheap, only to get Worse... Not so Sweet.
    Yes, 'Inconsiderate,' but "Smart" in his own Head... If he knew you might Put Out, you Might have gotten Fed.
    Good luck. xx

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  • Do you ever think he didn't have the money? He might be one of those men that feels "obligated" to pay. He did say "drinks".

    Did you drink alcohol? He might have been trying to get you buzzed and get in your pants. J/S

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  • That's pretty dickish, yeah.

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  • I think he sounds like an asshole and wouldn't go for a second date

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    • You forgot the final "roarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgrrrrrrrrrrrrr".

    • Show All
    • Nobody posts comments believing they are annoying.
      If you on the receiving end feel that, there is a block feature you may be unaware of to help people with such problems. Can help, though just a little.

    • @xxxddd I try not to block people unless they are perverts and of course you made that comment to be annoying... what would be the point otherwise considering how pointless it was?

  • Maybe by drinks he just meant drinks? Give him one more date and see how it goes but he does sound inconsiderate. Go for Italian food (or whatever you both like) and a movie? Avoid alcohol and be safe though as you should always be.

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  • Um you could have spoke up your a grown woman. He just wasn't trying to pay extra he just wanted to hit it and quit it.

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  • Looks like you just dated a stingy broke guy.

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  • Wow so stingey

    Best revenge is to say no never again to him directly.

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  • Maybe watching a girl eat makes him unhorny? Maybe he just doesn't want you to gain weight if he's thinking that already so goodbye please.

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  • That's a turn off to me. Ugh.

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  • that sounds very rude. wow.

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  • drop him

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  • OMG he is too rude and stingy , I think you don't need this type of men

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