If a girl won't hang out with you and doesn't text you first anymore, is actively pursuing her pointless?

This friend of mine, who I like a lot, doesn't ever want to hang out outside of school. She's nice, touches me, never pulls the "you're such a good friend" card. She seems genuinely intersted in my life when I do see her. She used to text me first but now she hasn't initiated contact in a month (summer break from school). Should I stop hoping and accept it'll never happen? Or keep aimlessly texting her in hopes she'll go hang out?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Does she respond to your texts? If so, I'd just straight up ask her out on a date instead of pulling a wishy washy "do you wanna hang out?" Thing.

    When you see her at school, ask if she has plans do break or something & eventually say something like "before you go on vacation (or whatever she's doing during break) do you want to go out on a *date* with me" and you'll get your answer. You never know until you try.

    If she's not responding and not talking to you at school... I'd move on. You want someone who wants to give you as much attention as you give them.

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    • Girls that ghost are the scum of the earth

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    • @Hateguysplay1 I thought asking someone out on a date over text was a bad idea. Like it looks cowardly

Most Helpful Guy

  • Man let me tell you something, i had a very similar situation, thebonly difference is that she was txting me yet she would always say she's busy to hang out so i suggest you do one thing. First of all, screw this in your head or at least set your mind to it " she's not for me so im just gonna be friends with her" basically just expect the worse. Now that you got that out of thr way be friendly to her and stop txting her. Wait till she txts you, i know its hard to hold it in cause you just want to talk to her but dont talk to her through msgs wait for her to text you. This means that you're not as important to her or she just knows she has you there and she's enjoying the attention. Once you have done these things, if she doesn't message you at all but only talks at school then this means she's not interested if she asks you anything about msgin her or how you are different or anything then she's interested at that point you say you'll change to the way you were before if you guys hang out. Just remember if she makes time to see you or to message you then she's interested if she doesn't then unfortunately you have to move on. Good luck!

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What Girls Said 3

  • Here's a life lesson. The people that want to see you WILL make time for you. She's just interested in being friendly at school - that's it. OR...

    Try not reaching out to her as much, be nice to her when you see her but don't text. Google cat string theory. If anything, she'll be intrigued by the fact that you're pulling away.

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  • Ask her.

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  • Yep, pretty much.

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What Guys Said 15

  • Not texting first isn't such a big issue in my opinion. If she doesn't wanna hang out though (and by that I mean if she has rejected hanging out more than once), then I think that she's not interested.

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  • this has happened with all of my crushes and I've never reached a conclusion on what it means because I've never learned if they actually like me back.

    But, I will let you know what happens when I confess to my crush.

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  • You even need to ask? Don't waste your time on her.

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    • @meatballs21 I can't message people so I'm just going to ask here sorry! But do think it would be alright if I texted a guy " I know you're really busy but I hope you have a good day 😊"?

  • I'd try to make one last attempt at getting together to see what happens, but wouldn't keep my hopes up.

    Good luck, man! 😉

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  • Well, yes.
    A girl who likes you makes herself available when she can.
    If she can't, even for sound reasons, it's a good indicator to just stop trying.
    Move on.

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  • Forget her. You're just wasting time and frustrating yourself.

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  • You should stop being a texting wuss and see her in person.

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  • Does she always have initiate everything. Have you grown complacent, boy?

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  • i think so yes

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  • if your friend do not want to text yo. do the same thing to her. when she show up, ever. tell her in a text that you are busy with some thing or some one. And, try to find a new friend.

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  • Stop texting and ask her in person.

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  • Either the steps you consider are wrong.

    You should have patience, endurance, confidence.

    Choose carefully when to approach/message her next time. Don't do it.
    Never try to contact her for the second time if she hasn't replied.
    Talk little if she isn't very chat.
    Never give the impression of being needy. And be confident.
    You can even drop out in the conversation that you have another girlfriend now ("but I still love to chat with you").

    Wise up.

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  • Nah brah been there done that, giant waste of time. Go pursue literally anything else.

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  • Just stop and see what she does...

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  • Ask her on a date, if she says no move on.

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