This girl 'Brother Zoned' Me, I got mad and told her off, am I wrong?

I met this girl and we became good friends for about 4 months or so. Eventually I told her I liked her and she told me that she only liked me "like a brother"

I got upset and basically told her off.

I didn't get upset because she rejected me. Honestly I can understand someone not being into me. However, this notion of seeing me as her "brother", thats what offends me and these are my reasons.

#1 - There has been at least 5 other guys that she has rejected and she has told them that she sees them as a brother. So this "brother" card is something she hands out a lot?

#2 - We only know each other for 4 months and suddenly she sees me as a sibling? I'm suddenly on the same level as her 4 other sisters who she has 19 years of experience with?

#3 - Its insulting to me because I don't want any part of her gene pool or family tree or whatever, I have my own family and siblings. Not only do I find it insulting towards her own sisters to put me on the same level as them, she thinks she can claim some position as her sister to me. I already have a sister. I'm not about to put someone on the same level as my sister and if I were to consider a friend a sister, TRUST ME, it would take a lot of experience and trust.

Imagine having a sister and your sister suddenly calls someone else a brother/sister, like you can easily be replaced or someone can easily share this special title.

Basically when I told her off I explained this whole brother thing to her and why it upset me.

If a girl is not into me or my looks, its ok, I have no problem a women not being into me, or seeing me as just a friend, but the brother thing is insulting, and honestly feels like a cop out most of the time this "brother" thing is used.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not rare for men to be caught in their emotions and not be able to control themselves or get angry over dumb things. Rejection stings deep, and clearly it did bother you. It's okay to be disappointed and yes, angry, but you should be more mature and introspective in understanding your anger. You should also not project those issues onto her, as if she has done something wrong, when it doesn't seem that she has. "I see you as a brother" is another way of saying she's not at all sexually attracted to you. At least, that's how I would mean it.

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    • I would have appreciated her telling me she's not into me or attracted to me. The brother thing is a insult and a betrayal to her sisters and an insults to my sister.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah you are wrong. What did you expect after four months. So what instead of saying lets just be friends she said she likes you like a brother, end result is same regardless. Don't get me wrong i get it, its like whoa fuck brother? But its still no excuse.

    You asked her out and she made her feelings clear. She's not obliged to provide you an answer that you deem appropriate. If you want a girlfriend learn to handle these things like a mature person.

    Now here's the most IMPORTANT thing. DO NOT, and I repeat again DO NOT wait four months to ask her out. What was your plan exactly? Show how nice, how great you are, and she would fall head over heels?

    You definitely overreacted, wasn't the best way to handle this.

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What Girls Said 1

  • She just means she's not attracted to you.

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    • That makes sense, the brother thing however does not make sense

What Guys Said 4

  • The siblingzone is deeper than the friendzone, i can understand your anger buddy 😂. You can graduate out of the friendone but the sibingzone is game over. I think you're just searing for reasons to justify your anger, it's fine really rejection is normal.

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    • No rejection is fine, I swear, I honestly can accept rejection because not being attracted to someone makes sense to me. And whats up, you're the cool dude who answered my question about Chinese culture haaha.

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    • It's just something the majority of people would let slide that's all. Most people get that being called a brother obviously doesn't mean you're her sibling - just something they don't consider insulting.

    • Then its dishonest which still makes it insulting. Well I think of things deeply and different then most people. Which is the reason I don't judge people for eating dogs unlike most people who are a slave to their bias culture like spoke about last time.

  • You shouldn't have gotten mad. Should have just said "Oh" and walked away, and completely severed all contact.

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  • just stop being friends with her. why punish yourself

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  • you shouldn't have gotten up set... but you did the right thing in letting her know you dont do that shit... in fact never talk to her or acknowledge her again... you have to be cold to win this one

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