Any other black women struggling on dating apps and sites, despite being moderately or even very attractive?

Like the title suggests, I'm a black woman. I'm very aware of the social stigmas regarding how black woman and Asian men supposedly fare on dating sites but, nontheless I don't consider myself to be ugly at all. I also am aware that there are indeed black women who do excellent with online dating. But honestly, what's the deal with it? I tried 3 dating apps as an experiment and compared my results with an acquaintance of min who isn't black and she also noticed that I did poorly to averagely. She's beautiful and I understand why she's getting so many responses but I don't think I'm that bad in the looks department. It frustrated me so to the point that I deleted all the apps and didn't continue with the experiment. It's not as of all black women are unattractive or look the same. I'd love to hear some feedback and responses from all directions.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Those girls are getting more responses because they have better pictures. Look at your dp... you're pretty but your picture is so cringe.

    Take photos like these. You have a smartphone? Try to use a bit on instagram editting to compliment your photos. You can take better photos and you'll have more success this way.
    http://i.imgur.com/HLqipL0.jpg
    http://i.imgur.com/KChQgxf.jpg

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    • Do not hold the phone up and do awkward hand gestures. Take a selfie, not cringe awkward mirror selfie

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    • Sometimes a more downward angle can be good for some, sometimes profile, sometimes looking up. How about getting your friends to try? Ask them to snap away. Most people don't realize they can just click click click and take lots and lots of photos. If they snap a lot of pictures, you should be able to find one you like that you think portrays the best side of you.

    • @ak666 That seems like a good idea! Thank you!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Statistical trends are out there that say black women may have a disadvantage in the interracial dating scene, so your race may play a role unfortunately. I dunno why people deny that. It may not even be a pure physical thing, the stereotypes against black women suck. But, even with that, it doesn't dictate much. You will still have guys who are interested in you. Since race is something you cannot control and since you are a pretty girl... like some others said, just work on your profile and taking a nicer photo to share. You're the same girl regardless of photo, but I mean, just to give you your best chance... try something that's more universally pleasant as the main photo so that it's not intimidating and is pleasantly eye catching. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 11

  • Black, white, Asian, Native... any attractive woman will do good in dating sites, no matter what race. Even unattractive girls will get lucky.

    Don't blame your lack of success on your race, that's not the issue.

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  • I'm not saying you are ugly, but for the guys on the dating sites, you are not what they are looking for or as attractive as you think are. The question is where you waiting for responses or actively hitting up or talking to people? I understand the predicament you are in. I am only attractive to women who are open to Asian men / young guys.

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    • I understand that. I realize that as open minded and welcome to multiple options that there are those who are just not attracted to black women or myself. That's fine, I can't change that but it baffles me that I wasn't getting many responses whatsoever. Even those I matched with didn't message me or respond.

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    • @ThaMotherFuxker It's a little disheartening but I can control people's restricted tastes.

    • It should work for you on mainstream dating websites, it's harder but you'll get dates. Maybe you should look into interracial or black dating sites, I'm sure it'll be easier.

  • Nowadays, there's a lot of stigma on black men and Middle Eastern men as well.

    But yeah, a lot of black women are struggling on dating apps, since the media puts them down a lot.

    Personally, I don't find black women attractive, but I also don't find my race attractive either. I only like white women.

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  • How narrow are your parameters? I often see women's postings that are so restrictive that virtually no ine will meet their standards.

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    • They're not very narrow, I'm pretty open to most which is why I'm confused as to why I didn't get very many responses or matches.

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    • That seems to be the majority opinion, thank you!

    • Anytime. Good luck!

  • I am not black. Or a woman. Or a black woman.

    But as a guy...

    Have you tried to sign up for some meetup groups? It seems to me that a good way to find romance, would be to get involved in something you like to do, (hiking? Running? Trivia?) and get out there with other people with shared interests.

    That way at least you are mingeling with people with some things they like in common, and that seems at least a starting point with romance.

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  • The results you get on dating sites and app is very different from that you get in real life. A good photoshop can make you look the most gorgeous women on dating apps and also personality is not taken into account. I do horribly on tinder but my results in real life are much better

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  • Don't blame your race. Any attractive woman will do good on a dating site.

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  • im sure there are guys out there that find you attractive, i personally dont find any black girls attractive at all, same with some of my friends but there is always someone that is.

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    • I expect that there are men who don't find black women attractive and that's your perogative. Respectably.

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    • Nobody is born anything, it's all learned and absorbed behavior. Except for white people, you're all born with evil in your DNA.

    • @ThaMotherFuxker now you're being the racist :P

  • I always put my. search results to only show white Hispanic and native. American.

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    • Okay, I understand that; it's nice to get a different perspective even if it isn't favoring.

  • I find black women very attractive.

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  • Good pictures make a big difference and it's something I also struggle with this as well as a white male though I think it's something everyone finds hard work or if they don't I'm jealous.
    Lighting, angles , what to wear, location and ideally taken by someone else but also with you prepared for a photo.
    Have you tried long hair?
    even if its frizzy I think it still looks best www.google.co.uk/imgres
    I mean there are certainly some black women that look beyond incredible.
    I haven't known many black women and none who I think saw me as more than a temporary friend or acquaintance though I did find 2 of the few I knew very attractive but it's hard for me to know my own real life preferences with such a small sample. Ever way there are a lot of other things where I have a stronger preference and you're probably doing better than most guys.
    You said you got messaged less than your hot best friend but you where still messaged by people.
    I got likes (it won't tell me how many or all there names since its free ATM) and 3 replies to the 4 messages I've sent so far which I consider good but no one messaged me and all 3 times I was the last one in the thread. My messages where well thought out and only targeted at the strongest matches. It would have been nice if someone messaged me first not a bot or scamer though obviously.

    www.google.co.uk/url

    You have makeup and allsorts at your disposal and the lighting in the G&A pic could be much better.

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    • I actually had much longer hair, I just recently cut it in the past 2 months. I'm also partial to makeup and don't favor it that much but I get the rest of it.

What Girls Said 8

  • From what I can see in your profile picture, you're very pretty. But then that's not a great picture, cuz you can barely see you :x

    That could be part of the problem if that's what you're using on dating apps. You should take pictures that clearly show your face and display your best assets.

    I'm sure it's more difficult because you're Black. And that's unfair. But you're a pretty girl and you shouldn't have trouble finding guys who wanna date you.

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    • Thank you! I'm not the best at taking flattering pictures because I'm not the most serious person but the ones that I had up shouldn't have been horrible. It's not that big deal now that I think about it, but it really did open my eyes to the tough reality of online dating for black women who are seriously looking for relationships and it sucks.

    • Don't look for serious relationship in on line dating. Most of the men there is just for play. Just go for personal meeting instead. Try to mingle with men in your community instead.
      Hope you will find the right guy. :-)

  • i've never online dating/used dating apps but it's all marketing. sell a fantasy, do pics that flatter u unlike ur profile pic

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  • As a black girl in the UK (London). I got as much interest as my white/Asian friends. I'd get about 40 messages a day on an average day. Maybe it's the country? I'm not BeyoncĂ© or Rihanna either. But I'm shapely and my face is okay. The area really determines how popular it is, since London is very open and young about interracial dating and has more numbers. But once I used tinder in the small towns, I'd get much less than most.

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  • Your race has nothing to do with it...

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    • I wouldn't say it doesn't have anything to do with but I'm sure my race plays a role.

  • Its your photos

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  • Not really. And I'm ugly.

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  • Don't use online dating, most guys will put on their profile no black women.

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  • Definitely not bad looking at all ! Maybe you should quit the dating sites and go out and find a nice guy.

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