Says he's not ready for a "mature relationship" but wants to be... what to do?

About a month ago me and my boyfriend at the time got into our first big fight over something so so incredibly petty. He completely blew something I said out of proportion, assumed with no reason that I was seeing someone else and broke up with me. A few days after we kinda sorta made up. He apologized for overreacting and said he needed some time to sort out all his emotions. It's been a few weeks and there was still a lot of tension between us. So I tried to see things from his point of view, apologized for what I said and how I said it, and let him know I still wanted to be his girlfriend and how much I cared. He answered that ever since our fight he was feeling unsure, not about being with me or his feelings for me, but about himself. He said that him completely blowing up over something so small made him question everything. He said I was the best thing that happened to him, but he wanted to be sure of himself and be somone I deserved, not some "scared immature boy who blows up over nothng." He said we should just be friends for now, but not for forever and that he knows we are going to be together. I asked him what he needed from me or what I should do and he just replied "keep being you." I'm really trying to understand him, but I'm just extremely confused. I truly love him, I see myself starting a family with him, but he still left me in a limbo. I don't know what else to do here...


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Respect his wishes as he does need to work on himself first

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    • So just kinda back off and give him his space? I am totally willing to wait it out, it's just very hard.

    • Exactly. Well he said to be friends so don't need to cut him out. If it's meant to be it'll happen. But he's going to keep doubting himself if he feels he has to worry about a relationship aswell which no matter what you say or do won't change that

  • He really needs the time to himself. To figure it out what does he really wants. Give him the time, be there as a friend. Let him know that afterall you'll be there to talk, to listen to whatever is making him feel so confuse about himself. Maybe he just really need to man up like he said, and it happens sometimes! We are not ready for relationships, or we just don't know how to deal with some feelings. He loves you but he needs to grow up and find himself first, in order to love you the way you deserve that's what he's trying to tell you. Good luck dear!

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