Completely cutting off someone you have feelings for?

Okay, so I kind of developed feelings for my housemate which I was in denial about for a long time but I finally accepted I did a few months ago. Nobody really knows that I like her and she doesn't. University finished and I've moved out of the house we shared and I kind of just want her gone out of my mind and I think the best way to do this is to just remove her completely from my life. I was thinking of just deleting her from my contacts and not messaging anymore but I feel harsh doing that. I was also thinking of deleting her because I feel annoyed with her for other reasons as she'd started to really annoy me recently with some things she does. No point in talking things out with her as she's useless at discussing things with people and sorting out issues. I'm going to miss her friendship but I don't know how else I'm going to get over feeling this way as this hasn't happened like this before.

What should I do? Delete her from my contacts and not talk to her anymore?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • doing that won't remove ur feelings, trust me.

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    • How can I remove those feelings? I won't see her again unless I keep in contact with her.

    • it's a tough one because these things usually just take time. thing is, you sound like you WANT to see her, despite cutting her off. if u like her, just tell her man. i mean what if she might like u too but is afraid to make her feelings known as well. just do something or move on. u dont have many options. wouldn't u rather tell her, than live in regret when u find her ending up with someone else? :/

What Girls Said 3

  • What I don't really understand is why you'd go out of your way to delete her and all that when she basically hasn't really done anything wrong, and you can still, you know, just not talk to her even if you have her as a contact? I mean who knows, maybe you get over it and you can then be friends again or something. Just because you have her as a contact, it doesn't mean you're obligated to keep in touch with her and all that. I asked a guy in my class out a year ago, he ended up rejecting me because he's already in a relationship (which I didn't know) but I never went ahead and deleted him or something. Like what's the point? We don't even talk that much, we're polite to each other and I've moved on from him since then. Removing her just seems a bit too dramatic.

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    • I guess it's just because we used to be in contact loads, talk every day and such. However, now whenever I go on my phone I keep hoping she's messaged me. I feel like if I delete her then I will no longer be looking for a message because I won't receive it.

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    • She'll start talking to me again as this is part of a cycle. Acts like my best friends, talk every day and then someone else becomes flavour of the month. Cycle repeats itself.

    • Then ignore her until you feel like you can be friends again.

  • Does the reason you are annoyed at her only make sense in the context of you liking her? And that's why you don't want to discuss it, because then it would come out that you like her? So you would rather just delete her from your life and not be her friend anymore? Because you are scared?
    Well anyway, do what you want. You will probably regret it though.
    Then again, if you are gonna delete her anyway, you may as well tell her how you feel first. If it doesn't go how you want, you have an escape route.

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    • Not completely, I'm quite annoyed that she just flips between people all the time. Proclaiming me or whoever to be her 'best friend' and then moving onto the next person after a month. She lies quite a bit like that, always plays the victim. I elaborated on this in a response down below that she just makes excuses not to hang out. I get that she can be busy with work but quite often I came down to her being too busy to see me, not too busy for her new friend. That upset me quite a bit given how much time I invested in her. I was there for her when she tried killing herself and moved a lot of things in my life around for her, then when it's the last week I'm probably ever going to see her she'd rather hang out with some person she'd just met than me.

    • Maybe she thinks she can take you for granted.
      I say, tell her how you feel - the things that piss you off and the things that make you like her - and what you want. A relationship, a decent friendship, whatever. Then take a big step back. If there is no response, then do whatever you've got to do to move on.

  • You should first

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    • Sorry, sent that too soon. I meant: you should first consider talking to her. You dont need to tell her you like her, but you could maybe ask her out. If you delete her, that is not gonna solve anything. She will wonder why and you will wonder if it was right...

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    • I guess, I mean I understand her being busy, I was very busy in the run up as it was my finals but it wasn't that I didn't have time for her, I had no time for anyone. She just has time for some people and not others. In a few months that'd probably change, we'd be 'best mates' but the cycle would just continue as it has the previous two months.

    • previous two years i mean.

What Guys Said 1

  • You don't have to delete her from your contacts but yes, cutting off all communication is a wise choice here.

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