Do Men Really Believe Good Guys Exist or Do They Just Say That?

This has been on my mind for a while and I just thought now is the best time to ask. Several men I work with and just know in general tell me good guys exist but I'll never find one and if I did, they would never want me. So why do men say good guys don't exist?

Updates:
Oh my goodness people, I didn't say I would never find one, I said the men I was talking to said that. Good gravy...

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Most Helpful Guy

Most Helpful Girl

  • They say that because they are talking about themselves as a whole and the kinds of guys they've met and have in their life. There are good guys, but there really isn't a whole lot because of how they have been taught. From what's on the media, to magazines like Cosmopolitan telling sexual lies, etc. I remember my mother had said that my great grandpa had always said 'Men are dogs'. Why? Because sadly that is the mentality males are taught to have instead of having self control and self discipline so that they can learn to properly love a woman. To have respect for her, and to learn when to tell her no to things that will cause problems. So that he can be a leader in marriage and to take on his roll as the head of the household.

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    • Thank you for actually answering the question. And you made a lot of good points, I didn't think of it as they were only talking about themselves.

What Guys Said 27

  • Good Guys definitely exist - but they're also relatively rare (probably moreso now than any time in history, due to some side effects of the Feminist [and more specifically RadFem] movements). Good Guys are like hot girls - they know they're attractive because people aren't shy about telling them so, and they quickly figure out that they're in high demand and have lots of options, so they set their standards high.

    For those of us who aren't at least a "9", it means that guys won't likely be dating a girl with supermodel looks and girls won't likely be dating a currently-successful Good Guy.

    A smart "under 9/10" girl will focus on the Nice Guys with the greatest potential and the least problems with confidence, and help him BECOME a Good Guy. This works FAR better than trying to turn a Bad Boy into a Good Guy - though many girls feel compelled to try - and almost always fail.

    For those who watch The Big Bang Theory, this is exactly what Penny did with Leonard - she picked the least pathetic, most good-hearted, and least-socially-awkward Nice Guy she could find and built up his confidence and experience and helped him become a Good Guy.

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  • Good guys do exist, I am one. I care about who the girl is, I want to spend time with her and be in love with her. 'Bad guys' are guys who just want to have sex with girls, they don't care too much about who she is or how good of a mother she would be or how virtuous she is or any of that. Good guys care about working with a girl through her problems and try to help her with her faults, bad guys don't care and will leave whenever they want.

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  • If good women exist, so do good men. But unfortunately, the good usually pair up with the bad, irrespective of gender, then lose faith that good men/women exist.

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  • They're cynical? You can't expect us to read you coworkers minds. You need to give more details and context of the conversation you had with them.

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    • There wasn't anymore detail. They were talking about how women want good men but never see them. I said all we want are a man that will treat us right and that was their response. They were being completely serious. They don't dislike me or anything, that was just the response.

    • Sounds like they're just cynical people then. There are plenty of good men and women left in the world. People who are unhappy usually choose to try and make other people unhappy too, instead of trying to become happy themselves. Don't let them do that to you. You'll find a great guy for you if you just get out there and meet people.

  • Yes, believe it and I am one. I also think every women's view of a "good guy" varies slightly sometimes depending on their own personal likes/dislikes. You having the attitude of "I'll never find one and if I did, they would never want me" isn't going to help you find one though.

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    • I also believe most guys are genuinely "good guys" if they are with the right woman (very compatible). Problem is most aren't or there is a severe lack of communication between couples and they make assumptions all the time.

    • I didn't say I had that attitude, I said he men I was talking to said it to me. I believe I said it pretty clearly.

    • Oh yes, my apologies :) I misread that. Well, don't listen to them, they are full of shit and either they are just teasing you (hopefully) or they are purposely bringing you down for some reason. Not true anyway.

  • I have never heard of other men explicitly saying good guys don't exist. Usually it's the men advocating for their existence. I mean, I know for a fact that I'm a good guy, so that means there must be more like me.

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  • Define "good guy".

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    • You define good guy since men toss the phrase around like a hot potato.

    • Well, used in a general sense. Guys who are good. Of which, pretty much the majority of men are. Goodness, like everything else, is relative. So how "good" a "guy" is is dependent on what you're looking for and what you have seen.

  • I assume they say that because you wear too much makeup.

    As for "good guys", well you have to assume there are bad guys and that they are not it. So in reality that's just an oversimplification made by narcissistic people

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  • Lol. good gravy eggs and bacony😜 haha yeah I believe that gentleman like me out there I believe. I mean we may do hookups and stuff earlier in out lives but we still treat women with respect.

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  • Yes good men exist. And yes, you really should aim for some self-insight if co-workers tell you that you will not find one. Thats as big a criticism of your personality as possible.

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  • Depends on how "good" is being defined in this context.

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    • Well, that's the thing, men never define what it is. I've heard several guys say this, not just the ones I work with, but they never define 'good'x

    • Yeah, its pretty vague.

  • "Do Men Really Believe Good Guys Exist"

    "So why do men say good guys don't exist?"

    So which one is it?

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    • It's both lol, you can't answer two questions?

    • Because they are contradictory. Anyway good people exist, men and women. So yes good men exist.

    • It's not contradictory, it's actually the same question rephrased because the whole first question, which you did not restate, was do men really believe good guys exist or do they say that.

  • I think most men believe that they are good guys, kind of like how most women believe they are good women.

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  • There are good guys, why they think that you won't find one is beyond me, but there real.

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  • I would like to think I am one of them. I am sure my girlfriend thinks so too. But exactly would your definition of good guy be.

    What however I am curious about, "if I did, they would never want me." Why would good guys not want you?

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  • Well you have to describe the type of guy your looking for to see if it's a fairy tale or something realistic. Maybe your personality is the type that would scare them away. Who knows?

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  • i exist.

    i'm a good guy.

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  • Shit, our secret has been exposed! It's true - we're all despicable bastards.

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  • I would say I'm a pretty good guy
    I don't think any gagers here who actually no me would disagree

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  • It's not like the infamous unicorn. Good guys do exist, but many are taken or gay these days. So the where you look for a good guy makes the difference?

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  • We believe there's good guys yeah.. why would you assume they would not want you?

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  • They do exist, but they hardly get noticed.

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  • They do.

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  • There is no man that does good that's what the bible says

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  • I wouldn't just say something like that if I didn't believe it... would I?
    Actually I'm not so sure.
    Hmm...

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  • Good guys exist. We're just a little reserved about our feelings because at some point being a good guy wasn't good enough.

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  • " but I'll never find one and if I did, they would never want me. " . Ä°ts so obvious why they don't like you. And as a good person , I don't want you too. Maybe it comes to you bad. Probably you will not like my comment but since I know you , your comments and all your stuff ; you came to me so rude person. A bad personality also destroy a beautiful face. Don't worry you are not the only one. I saw a couple of women here. And comedically they are all alone and they are complaining about men everytime while other women fall in love to men and making good stuff and having good times with men. The only thing I can suggest to you. First change your personality. And read self-help books. Otherwise you will be alone forever , or even if you find one then this doesn't mean that you will be happy.

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    • I didn't say that i said that, I said they said that to me. Read the statement correctly before commenting please.

    • I'm not changing my personality for a man and if you were really a 'good one', you wouldn't suggest that to anyone. You seem condescending and your reply sounds mostly based on the fact that you and I probably don't get a along versus yet populis of men, which kind of negates your comment in general.

    • You proved it again with your offensive communication. I don't really be surprised on your life. Anyway bye bye.

What Girls Said 6

  • Why are those guys so pessimistic? Don't let them bring fear and worry to your head. They say that because of the fact that they are full of fear and worry. Have hope and faith, stay positive and the right guy will happen to you. He will not be perfect because no one is but if you work on the relationship he will be the right one for you.

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  • I don't know honestly.

    Though to me a good guy can even be a dark, cocky son of a bitch, which my boyfriend is.

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  • Good men do exist. Some in religious groups some are hippies , country boys, mammas boys. They exist but i mean you gotta sort through the bad ones to get to the good ones.

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  • Its just gender unity i guess.

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    • What do you mean?

    • For example when a guy says " all women adore money" i automatically defend my gender. I suppose its just like this.

  • Too many guys make good men sound like unicorns and that they're the only exception.

    The truth? The real honest to goodness truth?

    Men are humans! Some are wonderful, some are horrible and most are in between. Just like women.

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  • Men believe it because they all think of themselves as good guys. I know men who are nice to their friends, family, co-workers etc. and have treated their ex-girlfriends well, so they call themselves good guys.

    But what they leave out is the way they treat women who like them, go on dates with them etc, which is often behaviour that us women would not class as expected behaviour from a 'good guy'.

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    • This right here. This makes sense. I know a lot of guys that are good when they want to be good so they think they're 'good' all the time and it's annoying. Or guys who think they're good when they really aren't.

    • Thanks, exactly.

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