I've accidentally complicated my love life and it might hurt others. How do I fix this without hurting anyone?

I haven't promised anyone anything so I can't technically break a promise or lie. However, I flirted with more than one person and got more than one person interested and I don't know what to do or - very bad - who to pick.

Firstly, I met a guy months ago who I really really liked, but he lives far away and I had to let him go. Unexpectedly he came to my town again, all the chemistry was back and we slept together. The original circumstances still apply though so I'll have to let him go again.

Next, I know a polygamous couple. They're currently a V of one girl in a ltr with one guy who also dates another guy. I've been close friends with them, but now within a few weeks both the girl and the main guy expressed feelings for me. I went on a date with the girl, but poly isn't my thing and now I feel the attraction from my side is fading. I am attracted to the guy though - although it still doesn't seem like my thing, and promised him to hang out without expectations feom either side. This wasn't a problem, untill...

I play tabletop rpg's and one GM is really nice. I didn't pay attention to it though because I first wanted to clear the mess before adding any other trouble, but now he asked me on a date and I said yes. I was really happy, untill I remembered I still hadn't cleared said mess.

Ideally, I want to remain friends with the poly couple and see where it goes with the GM, without the GM judging me for my past - which he doesn't know about yet but Im also not gonna keep it secret. How do I possibly achieve this? I've never been a heart breaker and would like to keep it that way.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Wow, this is really easy. You date both of them until you know enough to drop one. And maybe they date other people too. That's the way people used to do it.

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    • You sure no one is going to feel lied to? Im friends with all of them and except for the first guy, I have to see and interact eith them om a daily basis. I also don't want to lose them as friends

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    • One date, and guys think you aren't going to date anyone else? You need to tell him before he gets the idea that you aren't dating anyone else. Sure, tell him. If he really likes you he will be ok with it. People used to do this all the time.

    • Okay, thanks a lot for your advice :)

What Girls Said 1

  • hmm, sounds complicated... looks like you're gonna have to roll your will save on this one (i kid, i kid~ fellow tabletop gamer here!).

    unless you and gm get serious, you don't have to tell him anything about your past. we all have them, but whether or not he can accept that will be on him if and when the time comes (and, frankly, if he's weirded out by it, then it says more about him than it does about you).

    that said, definitely break it off with the others asap. whether you tell them that you've started to get serious with someone, or that you just need a break to work through some personal issues, be firm and stand your ground.

    good luck!

    -von "do you even crit" asaurus

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    • I already told the others, but haven't decided on anything yet. Thanks about the middle part - that really made me feel better!

    • no prob, always happy to help~ hopefully everything works out the way you want it to. :)

    • I hope so too, thank you!

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