Could I have some help on this quieter guy.. We matched on tinder but he isn't the normal "tinder dude"... How do I get him to ask me out?

So the only reason I know this guy is bc he's from my hometown and is older than me and I had a crush on him even though we never met. I met his brother a long time ago. They both are in a punk band; he's into smoking weed and reading. He isn't like woah handsome, he's super thin but has boyish charm, and I totally dig his style... I think he is the coolest. I've had a silly crush on him for 2 years.

so then I saw him on tinder. Without you guys knowing me or pictures, I'll just tell you that guys and women tell me I'm gorgeous and I get asked out regularly.
we matched, I talked to him first and he responded in seconds but I took 10/20 min each time to respond just to play hard to get. We have been messaging each other every day or every other day like once, for about a week. He seems interested, is super friendly and asks me questions... But then he goes MIA for full days. I noticed he's only active when he responds to my messages. It's just SO slow in response... I checked his fb and he had some band shows and was recording music.. He seems heavily invested in his music and may be busy... But I'm just wondering what I should do to move things along without being pushy or clingy. If I may add, I am planning on deleting tinder since I hate it and it's not my thing.. So I'm only keeping it bc of him.. I also don't think he's the typical hook up dude.. Based on what I know of him, he seems like a genuine guy


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What Guys Said 1

  • Why don't you ask him... what are we in the 1950's? With waiting... all you are doing is losing time to have what you always wanted or time to move on to the one for you.

    I personally never know what they hell women want (friendship, a Fk buddy, FwBs or is looking for marriage/kids). I flirt and just have fun with my female friends and if they want more than they can hit me up/make a move. I also find girls that wait for the guy, usually have other traits I can't stand ( prime example: saying your hungry but not knowing what you want to eat... WTF?) That is why I LOVE aggressive girls... a plus is that they know what they want in bed too;-)

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    • So that doesn't come off as clingy or desperate? My cousin (30 year old guy) tells me I should play extremely hard to get.. But I don't know I hate games. They don't feel natural. I want to message this guy if he wants to talk in another way, like text or other social media thing.. To get things rolling a little... But I don't want to come across as "too interested"... Thoughts?

    • Asking him out.. doesn't make you clingy or desperate.. it makes you look "confident". Desperate would be if you just hung around him making moon eyes at him.. hoping he notices.
      " play hard to get"... I'm not talking about sex... I'm talking about going out with dating.
      I personally find it a turn of if she doesn't know what she wants and just plays games. If she does seem like she's interested I move on after talking/hanging out 2 or 3 times. I put them in the friend zones and find someone else that IS interested in me. There are way too many people in the world and with tinder/POF, Match, etc. it's too easy to find someone else that is sure of what she wants.

      If he doesn't make a move, and you don't want to... I'd say ignore him and do your own thing. If he did like you, he will realize what he lost and will be more aggressive. The only problem is that he might take you moving on as a sign that you really weren't that interested in him.

What Girls Said 1

  • be like u wanna chill in my vag?

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    • But the inside of my vag isn't that chill, it's pretty warm

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