Do you generally feel more confident or do you feel insecure about yourself while in a relationship?

Are relationships an ego boost for you, or do you start questioning your physical attributes and what you'd like to change about yourself even though you know for sure the other person thinks you're attractive? ( I mean otherwise he or she wouldn't go out with you in the first place ;) )

Updates:
Seems like the younger you are the less secure you are, maybe we tend to get more confident as we get older? Do you agree?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I understand the question and it can be both but generally I feel more secure especially at the stages where I can feel I trust her feelings for me - I think everyone at the start of a relationship might have a few doubts plus if you were on the wrong end of someone moving away from you - If you are in a stable relationship and you let insecurity or irrational jealousy in, I guarantee you that relationship will not last, it can become controlling and possessive on a number of levels thus driving other person away.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • With me it's sort of a mixture but I think there's a reason for that:

    When I was with my ex I'd mostly feel confident, I mean - He'd constantly tell me I was pretty/cute/beautiful/gorgeous/hot/fit/sexy, he'd tell me he loved me, would get nervous around me, changed his phone background to a picture of me, would ask for selfies of me even if I wasn't wearing anything particularly exciting - like even if it was just normal casual clothes and a hat or something, would tell me how I helped him get over his depression, how he would never leave me because I was apparently the most beautiful girl he'd ever met and I'd helped him a lot, thought I was funny, thought I was nice, would tell everyone about me and all that..

    I felt pretty confident about all that.. until he said stuff that made me question his loyalty and I found out he was cheating on me in the end.

    Got a different boyfriend now who is a lot nicer and appears to be more honest and loyal. He calls me cute/beautiful/fit/hot too, tells me he loves me, admitted he liked me all the time he was with his ex (apparently she wasn't a very nice gf), talks about wanting to marry me when we're older, is respectful, talks about what he likes about my personally as well as my looks and is caring.

    He makes me feel confident sometimes but other times I worry in case he ends up liking another girl but not breaking up with me because of it (like my ex), I don't like the idea of being with someone who would rather be with someone else, I seem to have a big fear of that. When I worry about it, sometimes it can be a bit out of no where and I'll be embarrassed to tell him but every time I do, he assures me I'm the only girl he loves, he knows he won't love anyone else and promised on mine and his life, and even his nans grave that I was his one true love.

    I always try write stuff like that down or remember it to reassure myself yet sometimes I just think "He says that now but he'll end liking someone prettier/nicer who doesn't have the mental issues I have. I'm a nightmare".

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What Guys Said 11

  • In a good relationship I feel confident, in a bad one, I feel awful.

    Getting a date and gettign complements are an ego boost.

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  • Probably boost if anything.

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  • Definitely more confident!

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  • I don't know yet, I'd probably say more confident, but then again I feel self worth issues too which I can't really get rid of just have to deal with it.

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  • I feel more confident. If they're with me, it's for a positive reason, so I have no reason to feel bad about myself.
    Plus, being with someone you like gives you a boost of confidence and ego.

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  • More insecure cause I tend to date out of my league

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  • I feel insecured that they might go crazy over my super chisseled bod and just keep blowing me whole day trying to impress me

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  • I don't care cause I've never been in a serious relationship 😶
    All of them were casual 😂
    So can't really tell how would it feel :P

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  • I never have a relationship but ı believe ıf ı had one ı feel more confident.

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  • Confident. This person is with me for a version of myself that is as-is. What's there to be insecure about

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  • Depends how the relationship is going.

    My marriage hurt my self esteem a lot for a long time.

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What Girls Said 10

  • In the beginning I was nervous and stressed cause I had to make sure he didn't want to leave lol

    But it's been nearly 5 years now and it's so chill and reassuring knowing that he's there supporting me with whatever. I'm very mindful of my appearance fitness wise always and I don't think that's changed since the beginning.

    He's a competitive swimmer though, and I admit that I do kind of fall prey to the shallow ideal that our physiques should "go" together.

    I work out for me but also a little so people don't look at us and get confused about why the super fit guy is with some fatass. But I know he likes me how I am regardless of what I look like.

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    • I agree, just looked at your profile pic, and damn girl your body is goals :O <3

  • More confident because I try harder on my appearance when I have a specific person to impress in mind :P

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  • My first real relationship I was VERY insecure because he had a best friend who was a girl and hed spend a lot of time with her. I kind of wondered if I was attractive enough for him, now looking back I don't know why I was so insecure...

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  • I have never been in a relationship but I had a few guys being attracted to me, and because of my insecurities I didn't go after them... I always thought it was too good to be true :/
    I really need to work on that..

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  • I'll let you know when I've had one...

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  • Ego boost yes

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  • I feel more confident the rare times it happens.

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  • I get emotionally insecure

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  • Depends on the guy and he relationship. If it's a good relationiship with a good guy then I think you'd definitely feel better in the relationship but personally I feel better out of one

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  • I know its weird but I get more insecure in a relationship than when I'm single.

    If I had to guess why:
    I feel more comfortable being myself around guys im NOT attracted to for one thing. And then we start to date someone you kinda second guess stuff, get more anxious, wondering how long it will last etc. And then when the relationship get comfortable the othet person probably stops trying hard to impress you, or compliment you or whatever so yeah...

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