Why the heck do guys do this?

I went on a first date with a guy and at the end of the date he says.."I just want someone to have a good time with but I don't want a relationship"...
yet he texts me relentlessly, compliments me all the time, wants to see me every day.
i just don't understand why guys have to throw in the "I don't wanna date you btw" when I barely even know them, yet continue to seem not just kind of, but super interested
what's normal TO ME is not thinking way ahead and just going on dates and seeing how it goes because you DONT KNOW THE PERSON YET... so I don't get why boys feel they have to decide the fate of a relationship from the second it starts? And it feels like I'm being rejected when I haven't even said what I wanted yet. Honestly, after date one, when a guy says he doesn't want to date me, I'm like dang I didn't ASK YOU TO, it feels like they assume every girl always wants a relationship when sometimes we go on a few dates and don't feel like a relationship either. I've had like 90% of the guys I've ever talked to say this to me and I'm 19. I've only had one boyfriend. I've acted different with many of these guys and yet I still seem to somehow never be good enough for some guys from the get-go? Like I don't get what's wrong with me that they have to make it completely evident they don't want me when I never mentioned that? it hurts so much. At least give me a few dates/weeks before you basically reject me? I just don't understand this behavior


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Most Helpful Guy

  • perhaps you have that "i dont want a relationship" vibe or you dont seem interested and/or you seem like guys are not important to you, so the guys decide to split and look for someone who does, guys are just very impatient.
    or the guys are stupid players and just want a fuck-buddy.
    or you wait too long to tell a guy how you feel and what you want.

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    • Nah. I don't see how I could possibly be giving that vibe off one date/just acting friendly. I wait too long? I'm supposed to know how I feel after a date? I just want to not always be the girl without a boyfriend forever is that so much for a decent person to ask. Lol

    • guys dont want to be a boyfriend in "that" way, someone whos temporary until someone better comes along, maybe they sense that in you too.

Most Helpful Girl

  • you reaalllyyy dont know?
    can't guess why in the world a single male these days would he want a living sex toy without going through the hassle of treating her like a human and being nice and all that needless, useless waste of time?

    better question is
    why do you let him play you like that?

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    • Yeah, you're so right.
      The truth just sucks.
      And I don't always let them play me, sometimes I stop talking to them because of it...
      But yet, the problem remains.

    • true...

What Guys Said 5

  • They don't need a few dates to decide they want a relationship with you or not.. Sometimes it takes 1 hour to decide. Now why do they seem to stay super interested in you? because sex.. and also maybe you give them the green light to act this way (Or maybe not). And there is nothing wrong with you or them.. Just different preferences/motives/etc. That being said, it seems to me that you mostly date shallow guys.

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    • They only see me as a sex object and not as girlfriend material and I'm supposed to believe that there's nothing wrong with me? I date all kinds of guys and yet this still seems to happen, even well mannered ones who do date... there is something wrong with me I just don't know what.

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    • I can't click with anyone because they chalk it down to a hook up from the get go. Like I honestly don't even know if I have chemistry with this guy yet and he's already saying he's never interested in dating me, ever (or at least that's what I'm hearing when he says that). And it's always gonna hurt. I don't know, maybe I'll just have to get used to the fact that I'm not gonna have many actual boyfriends. But the worst part of all of it is that I get a lot of offers on dates and boys seem to like me. But it's like... they only kind of like me (or that's the way I take it). I don't know, it's always gonna hurt though and I hate guys who say just to deal with it because I know boys are bitches when they get denied sex. Ok I'm rambling now lol

    • It seems to me you are really confused. Don't let your anger or frustration speak before you. If I were you I would really think this through and for one minute STOP blaming all the guys. Then I would start with myself and figure out how I could be putting myself in such situation? and only after i fully understand my problems, i would go about blaming anyone else. This way you can think more clearly and define your problem. That being said, this is your life and your choices. Goos luck!

  • It's unfortunate but guys now seem to avoid relationships. He wants all the gravy without the obligation. It probably has nothing to do with you, don't take it personally. It just seems to be the new age.

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  • There's nothing wrong with you. A lot of guys our age just don't want a real relationship because they're immature and they want to just casually date a bunch of girls so they'll say they're not looking for a relationship no matter what you do

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    • That's true. But it's unfortunate for a for who wants to at least have a few committed relationships under her belt before she turns 25.

  • it hurts to get rejected after one date? imagine how much it'll hurt after a few dates.,...

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    • I've had that too. Apparently I'm just doing it all wrong

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    • I'm not ugly don't worry. I'm blond thin straight teeth. Haha

    • your opinion is meaningless. post.

  • Lol I don't think ant guy would want a relationship till he can't get some without it lol

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    • See I don't get that. You literally only wanna fuck people and don't wanna have a connection/someone that's your girl?

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    • You don't want a girlfriend until your married? And please, you'd be upset if you were in my shoes. Imagine if every girl said on the first date "I don't wanna hook up, why do that until it's time to have kids..."

    • Ha I won't get upset, Id just find chick who wanna "hook up" lol and no I don't, I dont want girlfriend till I loosr mt prime so like till 31sh baha

What Girls Said 3

  • He wants consistent pussy without the title.

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  • Hmmm. Are you meeting these guys online? Try meeting guys elsewhere. Try establishing a rapport first before going on the date or before bringing up the idea of romance/going on a date

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    • We're talking 20 guys here. I've met them in all different ways, some online, some in class, some at parties. Some at work. And some were friends beforehand. Yet, same result. I seem to be able to do no right

    • Are you friends with any guys? Tell them what's going on Ask them what they think

  • @Polo crew so if guys are only looking for sex MOSTLY then why do guys get upset if she's not loyal to him. Its a blow to the guys self esteem for sure but then why care?

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    • @polocrew

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    • Can you tell polocrew to look at my opinion please?

    • Because the Guy never said he was gonna fuck other girls. He just wants a friends with benefits relationship. Plus no guy wants to enter a hole another guy has been in recently

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