I would talk about it if I could without being rejected for even hinting at doing so. If I could find a girl who had the compassion and empathy to be capable of accepting me for who I am, and understanding why I am the person that I am today, then she'd be perfect in my eyes. I want a girl who I can truly bare my soul to, and who knows that I'll never judge her and always support her if she's willing to bare her soul to me. But I can't do it without facing instant rejection, so I have to bottle it all up inside, hold it all in and 'be a man'.
No woman wants a man with emotional baggage- we exist to be THEIR rocks, THEIR support, and if she ever suspects that a man's leaning upon her in any way- i. e, if he's willing to confide in her, trusts her and gains emotional strength from being with her- then she will instantly get frightened and run away as fast as she can. So I couldn't talk about my past, or any of the 'emotional baggage' of the formative experiences which have made me who I am, with any woman I was the slightest bit attracted to.
By doing so, I'd be all but guaranteed to lose her, becoming weak and pathetic in her eyes. And that would pile on even more emotional baggage, adding to the weight of the millstone hanging around my neck next time. As a man, I can't talk about it to a significant other- if I ever did, she wouldn't be my significant other any more. It's sad, but that's just the way women are- if there's anything that you can't instantly shrug off, no matter how hard or bad or painful it may be, then you'll never be a 'real man' in their eyes again.
There are, and always will be, things which I can't help but care about. But I can never afford to let any girl I ever care about have even an inkling that I care about anything, because in girls' eyes, caring about anything or anyone makes me weak, pathetic and inherently undesirable. I deeply desire that I could talk about my history, and my feelings especially, with a girlfriend, more than anything else in the world I could do with her- I'd consider it far more intimate than sex. But I know it could never happen. For any girl to ever accept me as her boyfriend, I have to be a rock- stony, cold, lifeless, immovable and inanimate.