Anyone else good looking but socially inept?

So I have this problem.. Physically, I'm considered attractive by other people. However, I have the social skills of a plank of wood so whenever someone talks to me or gets to know me, they just lose interest, whether platonically or romantically. Does anyone else have this problem, and what have you experienced with it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't say I'm 'good looking', but I am told I look above average. Certainly not undateable, based on looks alone.

    But I have social anxiety, and am not so experienced with women (I have only been in 2 relationships, over half a decade ago). So I have no clue at all how to approach women, talk to them, and most importantly, how to get them to see me in romantic light. I seem totally lost because women are an enigma to me! :P

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Most Helpful Girl

  • hmm, i dont have this issue as I'm generally okay getting along with most people. my issue is that i get misjudged a lot, as in I've been the target of countless rumours because of the way i look.

    anyway, to help with ur social skills, take it step by step. start with just a smile, or even just saying hi. other people are so social that they'll just start a random conversation with you.
    i was just recently at the train station all bundled up in a coat and scarf, and some guy was like "you look cosy!". i replied with "i have to be, I'm so bad with the cold!"

    that turned into a conversation about how we love summer and the kinds of things we like best about it lol. see just little things like that.

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What Guys Said 11

  • That has been part of the story of my life.
    I gained a greater understanding two years ago, when I did a neuroscience subject at university. I discovered that I could tick most of the boxes for high-functioning Asperger's syndrome.
    Combine that with an IQ in the top 2 per cent and I have a communication style that is driven by logic, rather than what are called social skills.
    My three children have been known to refer to me as Sheldon.

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  • Hmmm... Plank of wood, getting nailed... There is a joke in here somewhere... :-)

    What do you do in your free time? Do you have hobbies? Do you have interests? Are you passionate about anything?

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  • Well yeah im good looking and i have social skills but i often waste my time being independent rather than developing a social circle which is something i should do

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  • Not exactly but close. My social skills aren't quite that bad, once you get to know me. It's that initial breaking of the ice/approach/ whatever that I'm not that great at. I'm getting better tho.

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  • I wouldn't consider myself socially inept. Im a bartender and get along with people really well. I just can't make friends that easy, and can't build relationships that well. Im a pretty goofy, always joking around type of guy, and I probably come across as immature. Also, Im not real friendly. 90% of the time im brutally honest, and most people are not used to hearing the hard truth so I probably come across as a dick too. lol, fuck em.

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  • Could you be on the autism spectrum?

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    • No not at all. I'm just socially awkward I guess- I find it hard to think of things to say in conversation

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    • Not sure..

    • Then *probably* not. You just need more practice in safe settings.

  • Yes and no.
    yes im good looking but.
    no I mean , I don't know if u know this but girls won't consider men attractive if they dont have social skills.

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  • If you give up your fear of people thinking negatively of you, then you'll realize you were never socially inept. The truth is no one is socially inept.

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  • I am not socially awkward , but i dont a tuck about others. That's me.

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  • I'm the same. But most people love me when they get to know me. It's just having them get to know me is difficult because I'm so shy.

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  • Eh I'll give and take

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What Girls Said 2

  • You sound like me. People tell me I'm attractive, meanwhile, I can't get anyone to even text me back.

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  • Yes! It sucks because people expect me to be super confident and outgoing. While I am confident in myself I do have insecurities that make me a little socially awkward... Unfortunately sometimes people take my quietness as arrogance, when it's just me being shy.

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