Why do so many men tend to be so insecure in relationships?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Can you elaborate on that?

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    • Every man I have ever been involved with was concerned someone was going to attract my interest away from him. I am very attentive and not a cheater.

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    • It's like how you have to buy third party insurance. You're a good driver but you just can't trust you'll make a mistake

    • Maybe they've dated a lot of scumbags.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Not all of them are like that.

    It might be because anxious attachment is a way of describing the way some people connect with others especially emotionally significant others in their lives, Individuals with an anxious attachment believe they’re flawed, inadequate and unworthy of love.

    Some infants perceive their parents as inconsistently available, which distressed them (understandably so, children need their caregivers for their very survival.)

    When kids become distressed, their parents may give them extra attention. These kids also may receive attention when they meet others' needs.

    Over time, they develop a characteristic sense of feeling needy for attention and needing others to help soothe them. They believe they aren’t loved for themselves, but for what they do for others or how they respond to their needs.

    Naturally, such beliefs negatively affect their relationships.

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    • You're brilliant☆ :) I have some betrayal trauma issues and such. I don't tend to take it out on mates though. I work on myself a lot.

What Guys Said 10

  • I read the clarification below from Sexualchrist.

    Because you are picking a certain type of guy, there aren't that many healthy secure guys around, or the way you behave makes them insecure.

    What I've found is that we are attracted in the sub conscious of our minds to a large extent. that attraction is rooted out of childhood somewhere in our fathers and mothers or some model we had of man/woman. Often it isn't good. So if dad was a weak insecure guy, that is comfortable in your sub conscious mind and you select those guys. It works that way until work is done to make changes.

    It is possible there aren't that many secure guys around... too many people get married and date... and end up hurt... and don't take time to heal and learn and develop. So they are rebounders and they are insecure from their prior wounds.

    The other point is how you handle yourself around other people. If you are an extrovert and flirtatious in your behavior, you may be making them feel inecure around you. That may be an outcropping of your own insecurity. It would be natural for most guys to be threatned if you flirt with the waiter or guys that pass by, others at the dinner table, etc..

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  • I would say it goes both ways just that we tend to notice it more in the group we are attracted to - Why, I don't honestly know, human nature - I suppose since we all have some insecurities, what is important is learning to handle them, shove them way to the back of your mind and don't let them take over.

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  • That sucks, at our age, perhaps that is all that remains are the ones that are insecure and not the greatest at relationships.

    I hate to think that's the way it is...

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  • society stresses us to be strong and stuff like that you know. but we can feel insecure too, we have emotions too.

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  • Our inadequate penile structures?

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  • I'm afraid someone will steal her

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  • They are scared of cheating.

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  • Because women are cold hearted, soulless bitches that live to destroy guys from within, so excuse us if we seem "insecure" about women ripping our heart out and stomping on it!

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  • Because women can be so fucking flaky.

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  • I think it may be your age. I have a male friend who is older and dating, and the girls he's dating are utterly paranoid.

    I think that (and I'm sure it's true at my age if I were single too) a lot of older single people have been burned/cheated on repeatedly, and are paranoid because of it.

    Baggage.

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What Girls Said 0

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