I'm in love with a girl who doesn't love me back. How do I get over her?

I'm in love with a corpse. I say corpse because this girl has absolutely no life in her soul. She sits in class and draws all day. She never speaks unless a response is absolutely necessary. She remains under the radar at all times. I've barely spoken to her before. This one time during lunch I saw her sitting in the art room humming to herself while painting and honestly at that moment with her messy hair up in a bun, her frowning features, her soft voice, her paint-stained hands and face - at that very moment - I swear I fell in love. I could literally feel my hearth throbbing in my throat. How could such a beautiful person hide herself away? I tried my best to get to know her but she shows no emotions nor does she make an effort to reply in detail. Her responses are short and abrupt. After some borderline-stalker-ish research - I found out that she was abused as a child and has developed some form of distance between herself and reality. At this point I'm so infatuated with her that I want to breathe in every atom of her existence. I can't deal. She is driving me crazy. How do I get over this girl? I've tried dating other girls but my mind keeps straying back to her.


0|0
10|11

Most Helpful Girl

  • She's been hurt by loved ones, misunderstood as an artist and is afraid to really talk to too many people. Her self-esteem can be really low, like mine was when I was in my goth phase. By hiding away, she can stay in her comfort zone... alone. <3 :'( She might not believe she is beautiful or anyone would like her... if the ones who "loved her" acted as if she was worthless and garbage. She could definitely be depressed...

    HOW TO GET OVER HER?

    Just know, it will take forever for her to realize how great she is... by that time, she might be in college... I don't want to sound like a snob... but my self-esteem was pretty HORRIBLE in high school... and wasn't too good until my 2nd year of college... Now I'm on top of the world. But... it took like 3 years to get my self esteem back!!! I still don't have much confidence with my abilities at times :/

    She views people as creatures that will bring her down. Her father could have put so much fear into her that she sees all guys as monsters. Maybe her mother was so selfish and didn't take time to tell her daughter she was gorgeous!! If this girl doesn't love herself, how will she appreciate the love you could give her? She won't... and she won't understand why you like her--if she thinks she is worth nothing/ugly! She is forever a lost soul until she finds herself and what makes her feel good about herself/beautiful!!! <3 You can't fix a broken girl until she fixes the pieces of her heart :')

    0|1
    0|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • You've got an infatuation with her -- your mind/imagination fills in the blanks about her, and in this case there's a whole lot of blanks since she barely speaks.

    That said, you could try pursuing this girl. If she rejects you, it'll probably make it easier to move on, if she doesn't, that should make you pretty happy.

    Since she's an extreme recluse, you'll probably have to be extremely forward. It might help to take a genuine interest in her artwork and use that as a conversation subject. Then try to go to asking her out in a very fun and easy-going way if she shows any liveliness.

    0|0
    0|0
    • When you deal with super shy or reclusive types, generally you have to do a whole lot of talking, kind of talk their ear off. In these cases, the rules kind of change and it can be okay to do some things like talk about yourself a lot, since they're going to be slow to open up about themselves.

    • Show All
    • About taking an interest in her art, that should help since you're also into art, but try not to let your awe of her turn you into an ass-kisser. She'll probably detect that to some degree. Treat her like an equal.

    • For example, you can talk to her about composition, form, perspective, anatomy, values, various mediums, etc. -- basically talk shop. Try not to talk to her like a fan would.

What Girls Said 9

  • You need to deal with your personal issues. You don't 'love' this girl - you're obsessed with her... you clearly don't actually like the person she is, you can tell by the way you talk about her. Because she's a but closed off, there's something wrong with her? You act like she owes you conversation and she's doing something wrong by not showing interest or engaging you in conversation. Just respect that she wants to be left alone...

    1|0
    0|0
    • Sounds like you don't know what obsession actually is.

    • I am obsessed indeed. She doesn't owe me anything. Which is why I asked for advice on how to get over her. How do I go about forgetting this girl. There's nothing wrong with her. I'd be closed off too if I had to go through what she did.

    • @lcarus obsession is a fixation on someone or something. Fixations typically stem from personal issues, a sense of something missing in your life for example. Figure our and fix the personal problems, you put away the fixation.

  • Why not try befriending her?

    0|0
    0|0
  • The truth is, is that if she's your one true love you'll never get over her. You should befriend her even if it takes a lot of time and effort, I believe a lot can happen. Don't give up, if everyone gave up on love we'd have little to no love. Love yourself and her, go and befriend her :) You got this!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Distance and time. Just avoid her and wait. If it's real love, you won't get over it quickly, but in time it should fade (at least that's what people tell me about my love)

    0|0
    0|0
  • This sounds like what happens in the anime, say i love you and my little monster.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Most likly you haven't fallen in love but feel a spark of interest in getting to know her.

  • Ur broken now. Imagine IF y'all were together, only then to find our she didn't love you after a while, thats worse

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why get over her opposed to getting closer? I feel her non Responsive behavior is because the conversation you want to have is non sense, why don't you talk about the truth behind the conversation, tell her u fantasize about her, get the convo going. The real conversation

    0|0
    0|0
  • Wow. That's a bummmmeeerrrrrr..

    0|0
    0|0

1 private opinion(s)
Only the asker and the opinion owner can see it. Learn more

What Guys Said 10

  • You need more experience socially. That's the answer. The more people you know and the more girls you interact with, the less likely you are to fall into this mental chasm with both knees shot and only her pedestal to worship.

    It's really an illusion created by a lack of perception. The emotion is real, no doubt. The way in which it is synthesized is artificial.

    0|0
    0|0
  • This girl would be like buying house that is billed as a 'handyman's dream'.
    She would be a lot of work.
    Ask yourself, do you want to be her case worker, which would be the role in which you would find yourself.
    Move on.
    She would not be worth the investment.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You are not in love. You don't know what love it. What you feel is that you want to bang her.

    Getting over her is simple: Have sex with some other girl.

    And if she were sexually abused as a child, those girls are almost always seriously messed up in the head. Stay away for your own good.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I disagree about one thing, it's clearly a crush and not just "want to bang her", and having sex with another girl would probably not change anything. The last sentence I agree with.

  • You don't really know her, so what you feel isn't love.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Let your mind stray to girls who like you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • This comes off to me as being lust more than it is love, or even borderline infatuation, but anyway — if getting over it isn't an option, you need to befriend her. This isn't something you can force, though. Do you have any shared interests? Do you share any friends?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Your intrigued by the irresistible mystery
    The silent beauty
    She has no substance though
    Like crystal she is so beautiful yet if you lean on her she shatters

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just realize that there are plenty of other girls in the world who are just as cute and cool and interesting that you haven't met yet.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes I do believe they should only certain things though like if they have any stds or not.

    0|0
    0|0
  • you need to get over someone who never talks to you, the faggotry is infinite,

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...