Guys: If you want to repair the relationship, what steps do you take?

Guys: If you tell a girl you want to repair the relationship and take things slow, how would you demonstrate this to a girl? Would sex be a concern for you?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Generally I reached a level where I don't let relationships get to a broken state anymore by learning how to deescalate conflicts quickly with a stoic mindset. That and I tended to pick women who didn't push my buttons.

    But if I imagine I was in a brokenhearted state when younger, and I was given another chance for some reason, and combined it with some of what I learned over the years, I'd probably do everything I can to be enjoyable company to the woman. I'd avoid all drama, avoid dwelling on apologies, mostly just make sure we have a good time together and enjoy and miss each other's company -- with or without sex.

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    • My general mistake when I was younger that messed up relationships was lacking the emotional maturity to be the bigger person. I tended to escalate conflicts or use them to distance myself away from the girl instead of coming closer and gently talking things out. So a demonstration that I've improved would try to show that I've emotionally matured quite a bit and that we can have a good time together without arguing about things.

    • @ak666 Well said, lot of wisdom here!

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think most people bother trying to fix things. According to my experience, people are extremely lazy.

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What Guys Said 18

  • I don't know how taking things slow will help but i do know a few things...
    though its possible for one person to cause strife, it takes two to repair the relationship. Both sides have to be willing to:
    a. isolate the problem (s)
    b. individually come up with possible solutions
    c. compare solutions and compromise differences
    d. learn from the experience so it doesn't repeat itself.
    e. try to keep sex away until the problem has been taken care of.
    I don't mean to be sexist but in many cases i usually hear the woman go "im going to fix our relationship"... i usually just classify that relationship doomed. Not just one person can fix it, and to be honest the methods of "fixing" the relationship that I've heard of were astounding. They were worse than the original problem itself.
    Two people, open-mindedness and a willingness to compromise and any relationship can be fixed.

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  • First of all, you both have to agree there is an issue.

    Secondly, not one person is responsible for repairing the relationship.

    Thirdly, be sensitive about the issue no matter how small you may think it is, it was worthwhile for the other person to raise it.

    Sex would go to the back burner. Sex can cloud your judgement. Both people need clarity when trying to repair a relationship.

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  • Communication and honesty are all you need to fix a relationship. Solid facts dispel any pessimistic notions in your partners head. My advice is you dont cut down a tree by cutting down every twig and branch and then the trunk. You go straight for the trunk amd the rest gets taken care of. Find the root problem and deal with it and the rest will sort itself out. People nowadays micromanage crap they dont have to worry about. They drive themselves nuts. The sex thing will sort itself if the 2 of you know where you stand with each other

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  • You want to repair a relationship? Fix yourself [mind and body (maybe)], Then help your spouse. Figure out what you both need do. Don't ever mention "let's take a break" a. k. a excuse to cheat lol. Sex is a concern but it's the 3rd priorit√© in my book, can always help each other with that.

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  • I think you are good, together, or not. Nothing about 'repair' because by that point, you just aren't together, and it is over.
    Only long-term marriages can, might, maybe, be 'repaired', depending on the issues. . .
    Never been married, and all the ones I know have divorced and not reconciled.

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  • # try to start communicating again
    # talk about the problem
    # show how your going to fix it
    # win them over again

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  • Send Flowers, say I am sorry, talk things out, make up sex, all repaired

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  • Duct tape.

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  • You've only got one shot at it, if you fuck it up. It's over forever.

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  • depends how damaged and fucked it is

    most people should be walking away but stay due to pain of movin on

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  • Start with hello and work my way from there

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  • learning to listen better. no, i'm against premarital sex.

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  • I don't know anything about relationships.

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  • Buy her shit usually works.

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  • Yes. Sex would be a concern. Unless you want us looking elsewhere.

    We're human.

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  • If you win the lottery or inherit a pile then she'll come calling...

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  • Of course its a concern. Sex is the primary way a man will invest emotions in a relationship.

    That's not to say a man can't have meaningless sex. Of course he can. But when it comes to making a genuine emotional connection with someone, sex is what does it for a man.

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    • How would you know if it's casual or meaningful sex?

    • It's almost impossible for women to tell. That's why it's so easy for women to be taken advantage of. If there was an easy way to tell, mothers would tell their daughters, and women would be a lot better off.

      Sorry.

  • It depends how the relationship is damaged.

    Honestly, I don't think 'taking things slow' fixes things. The relationship needs both people's needs to be met to be 'fixed' if it was ever there. And if either of those people's needs includes commitment, or sex, then the 'fix' needs to include commitment and enthusiastic sex.

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