Why do women dump me at the the beginning of relationships?

I've been dumped by two women within the past 2 months because "I'm too good for them" or "they don't deserve me". It breaks my heart to lose women because they say that. Are they actually meaning it? What am I doing wrong?Why do women dump me at the the beginning of relationships?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Assuming the conversation shown is one you had with a woman whom you were dating, that could be part of the reason why they say they don't deserve you. A lot of people don't want to be with someone who's always being down on themselves. Have confidence in yourself, accept that they find you perfect because to them in that moment you are perfect. Don't repeatedly say that you aren't perfect because that gets old real quick and can start to influence a person's decision and how they feel about you. It's simple psychology, you tell someone something for long enough and they'll start to believe it. I had a boyfriend who would always say he's not perfect and amazing and kept comparing himself to my ex and saying that my ex is better than him. Soon I started to believe it and he became a hassle to talk to because he was always down on himself when we would talk, and it started to make me feel down too.
    So basically to sum this all up, DON'T BE DOWN ON YOURSELF! BE CONFIDENT! LOVE YOURSELF!

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    • I'm in blue. The girl is the one being down on herself.

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    • I've tried, but I don't think she knows what she wants because she insecure about a relationship because she was dumped for bullying her boyfriend a year ago, and she is still struggling with it.

    • It's up to you to convince her and make her secure again. It won't be easy but with enough effort on both sides you can have a safe and secure relationship

Most Helpful Guy

  • Since you are 19 years old, I am gonna consider that the girls you've been dating are teenagers.

    Teenage girls think differently than a mature one.

    Their feelings are there the one moment, the other moment they are with someone, they like you, but they like Justin Bieber too, you are the love of their life but they would love to do date that other guy too.

    Doesn't make any sense right? Can't blame it either, don't waste your time in wrapping your head around such girls, ones that are interested and are truly invested, don't go with cheap lines like these.

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    • What am I supposed to do then? They've been my age or older. I don't want to keep waiting for them to mature...

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    • I plan on ending it all if I'm alone at 25. I don't like being alone. I've got no friends or family so i either way I'm just screwed...

    • So you are ending it, when it all starts betweens the 25 - 35, the real deal that is, a salute to you Sir!

What Girls Said 13

  • No girl will dump the man of her dreams because he's too nice or sweet. That's a BS line people use to cover up their lack of interest in you. They don't want to directly say they're not into you.

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    • Figures. I guess I'm just shit outta luck then.

    • Don't say that. You are 19 :) There's still PLENTY of time to meet women and more specifically, the right woman :P Don't give up. I've had to try many times !

    • I was going to end it if I'm still alone by 25😅 So I don't really have plenty of time.

  • They probably do think you're a nice guy but you're boring or uninteresting. Or you try too hard. Or you come off as desperate to please. None of those things are attractive and only serve to make the object of your affection feel guilty. Try just being a decent dude without being over the top with the romance. Focus on getting to know her and having a good time together instead of trying to impress her or spoil her.

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  • Because you want a serious relationship and they don't and it's easier to put it like this than tell you they aren't ready

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    • Great😞 It's just a awful feeling when I put everything in one person at a time and it fails.

  • It is a pathetic and dishonest way of telling a person that you are not interested. It is as pathetic as women lying about having a boyfriend to reject someone. They clearly lacked interest in you and they thought this is the way to not hurt your feelings. But being upfront and telling people that you dont think they compatible or suitable for each other is much better than hiding behind a lie.

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  • Yeah, either she's not interested, or doesn't want to get in too deep because she's in love with someone else.

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  • You probably are too good for them. They know it and don't want to string you along. Try not to look at it as a negative thing.

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  • They might be fucking other guys on the side and probably realised they ain't feeling you in that way so tryna take the cowards way out and make you think they leaving you cos your so great. If they thought you were so great, they wouldn't leave.

    These women ain't worth your pondering and wondering.

    Throw them out of your mind like Kleenex to the dustbin!

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  • They were dating other guys.

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  • I don't deserve you = I am losing interest in you.
    But it's an easier way to let a guy down, instead of telling them directly.

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    • Great... I hate this.

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    • You're 19. You're probably gonna find the one you'll marry at 25 or something.

    • I really doubt it...

  • It's not. Relationship at 2 months

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  • There are thin lines between being modest and self-deprecating. Seems to me these girls are lacking in self-esteem (or probably adding onto the whole "no interest" thing). If I were you, I'd look for someone who takes the compliment for once 😂
    Just keep being your sweet-seeming self.

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  • I don't deserve you sounds like "I treat people like shit and I can't do that to you because either a) my conscience won't allow it because you are a genuinely lovely guy, or b) You don't have anything to offer me that I want.

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    • She did say her last boyfriend dumped her because she bullied him.

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What Guys Said 12

  • You have yet to find a woman compatible with you. And putting a time-line on finding one is childish.

    When you find "her" you will know as things will come very easy to the both of you. Accept anything less and you are accepting a guaranteed failure.

    Hey, if it were easy then dating sites and sites like this one would not exist.

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  • lol... one of the "nice" guys huh...
    learn the game dude... learn the game.

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    • No... I'm not playing that shitty game. I hate mind games and deception.

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    • Amazing how you can take any innocuous thing a woman does and spin it that she's playing games, even validating that opinion by saying we do those things without even realizing it, but when I give concrete examples of the kinds of games guys play, you try to explain them away as women misinterpreting things or reading into them something that isn't there...

      Is it really so hard to believe that some people play games, some don't, and gender really has nothing to do with it?

    • @Sara413 Lol... what can i say... i learned by watching a lot of women very closely. but still don't understand the reasons "why".
      and honestly, as much as i wouldn't like to be like that, its sincerely true that women read into stuff that isn't there. Look at how many people women ask questions like "he said 'im happy i met you', what did he mean?"...
      there is no hidden meaning in that... but many women seem to be wired to look for some kind of deception. Guys, who aren't wired for making games, take things at face value, for example when we ask whats wrong and we get "im fine". in a normal situation, it means just that. but with women, its a cry for something else. so why not just speak up n say that?

      is it so hard that regardless of gender (or sex) people play games? nope. I completely believe people play games. My point is, its hard to play games if there were no obstacles, rules or steps. Guys play games, cuz women set it up.

  • I think that's code language for "I like you and you're cool but not attractive enough/ lacking in some regard."

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    • Wonderful... I guess I'm shit outta luck then.

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    • I wouldn't say bitch because they all are such wonderful women.

    • Well ok, perhapd they were. But again, dude, you're doing everything right except for one or more minor detail. Find it, fix it and you're ok.

  • in my opinion these girls don't want to be in a monogamous relationship right now... but because of social pressure they try anway.

    Just let them go, they aren't ready to be anyone's boyfriend.

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  • OK, first of all, you were forcefully nice. LOL.

    After, the second no, you should either moved on, or said, "ok, whatever you say :D" then move on.

    When she said, "they don't deserve me" that's was their nice of saying fuck off. lol.

    Also, if a chick can't take a damn compliment, move on. I've, personally, had enough of that shit. lol.

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  • Stop investing so much into the relationship so early - prevents you getting hurt/frustrated.

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  • Brother, you're doing nothing wrong.. don't ever assume you're doing something wrong by being yourself, you're worth more than that. Don't ever hold back because you think she wants it, be you and go through the wrong ones till the right one doesn't leave mate and that will be your match dude.

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  • Bullshit - they're likely bored. If you're too much like them, and too much supplicating to them, they'll have no respect - instant friend zone.
    Read the first two year's blogs at TheRationalMale. com and then get back to us.

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  • Move on.
    There are better people out there than those you met.
    Keep looking mate.

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  • You're too nice.

    They have other options. Who are probably better in bed or something.

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  • Texting ruins relationships expecally if you haven't been together.

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  • You're either an arrogant ass... or you are attracting women with very low self esteem!

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    • I myself have low self esteem😅 So I don't know about arrogant.

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