In the future am I obligated to tell a guy I'm dating that I do not have sex with guys that I date?

I'm single and i have not been on dates in years but I have always believed in not having sex with a guy that I'm dating.

Dating is getting to know each other, so If a guy takes me our for a date whether we split 50/50 or he pays I do not feel obligated to have sex with him just the same as when a man is not obligated to marry or make a girl his girlfriend.

I'm a pretty laid back person and I do not feel entitles to anything but that does not mean that I am going to spread my legs just because a guy I just met takes me on a date.

Updates:
*entitled
When I say in the future I mean when I get into a relationship

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Most Helpful Guy

  • well i always thought this was standard?

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    • Me too. When I joined gag I found out that apparently it's not a normal thing but to me it is normal

    • to me too.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You're not obligated no, because he shouldn't be expecting that just because you're dating that you'll have sex, though with more serious relationships I think that's mostly assumed, so by that time I would hope you guys would have already had that conversation.

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What Guys Said 12

  • " have always believed in not having sex with a guy that I'm dating. "
    Tell them then, that sounds like "no sex till marriage".

    If you mean on the first date/few dates not really no., if you do online dating most will probably just want to bone fyi.

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    • Dude I specified that dating is getting to know each other

      Why would I have sex with a guy that I'm not exclusive with?

    • Mm most girls bone guys they're dating before they before 'official' just fyi. Maybe not among your friends but it's definitely not uncommon lol.

  • No you are not obligated to tell them anything about that until the topic of sex comes out. However if you want to tell them that before so as to avoid the angry dude it might help

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    • Why would he be angry?

    • Well some of the guys you are talking about who expect sex may get angry or start name calling if they find out later on that you do not want to have sex with them.

  • Soo... when do you want to "spread your legs"? Even married couples still go on "dates". I'm sort of confused, you're going to continue learning something new about that "said person" no matter what. You shouldn't feel obligated it's not mandatory, morelike, a bonus. lol

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    • Why would I fuck a guy I'm going on dates who is not committed to me

    • Why not? lol no Like I said it's a bonus, you don't have to fuck the guy. However, when you get into a relationship with a guy, and you both are going to commit yourselves to each other. Then bang like rabbits until the end of time. Sex is one of "those" important aspects of a relationship. You DON'T have to fuck anyone you don't want to, I'm sure you know that though. Hopefully, the guy is willing to wait as long as you are to bang, if he does i'm sure it"ll be worth it ;).

  • So i'm kinda' hazy to what end you're talking about here. So you'll never have sex with a person you're just dating or casually dating... or either?

    Yeah i mean, a $15 meal at Chili's doesn't imply an exchange of sex for food.

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    • I do not have sex with guys I date. I thought this was a normal thing because dating is not the same as a relationship

    • ah i see so sex in a committed relationship is OK with you? If so, than no you're not obliged to clarify that. Maybe if you wanted to wait till marriage than yeah. That changes the dynamic of the date.

      Also, you're not alone in this thinking. I know alot' girls that are the same way.

  • 1. They'll just lie and vet IN a relationship with u.

    2. Who knows how long ur dating period is most guys won't wait unless there desperate or they actually like

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  • You're very wrong about this. Trust me, a guy might date you for awhile, But if you don't get sexual pretty quick, he will leave you. And he should,

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    • I'm not going to have sex with a guy I'm not exclusive or serious with. I'm not wrong fit respecting my body and being careful who I have sex with. Dating is the about getting to know each other it's not the same as a relationship

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    • That was not the inference

    • It seemed that way.

  • You don't need to tell them in advance or anything, but if he topic comes up, just explain that you like to get closer to people before you have sex, and don't do it while you're dating

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  • Just say, "I'm not ready to have sex with you yet". If they're not okay with that, there won't be a second date. Easy, right? Of course, there is no obligation, and you shouldn't have to clarify this, but it'll make things easier for the both of you.

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  • Are you obligated to tell him? Tell him, yes. He might have different expectations than you.

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  • Yeah you are since thats what you want.

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  • doesn't that then make him "just a friend"?

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    • No dating is not the same as a relationship

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    • and fucking

    • you're avoiding the "guys and girls can be just friends" question.

  • Are you saying you don't have sex just because you go on a date, or are you saying you aren't interested in being sexual even if you start being a couple?

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    • I do not have sex just because I go on dates

    • As long as you are out on dates (as opposed to heading to their place) I don't think sex is expected. You don't need to say anything in advance. Within a couple of dates he's likely going to escalate though and at that point you need to say you're not interested, or that you might be but not yet. And if it's not soon, or if you are looking for a certain level of commitment at that point say roughly what that means to you.

    • I think the confusion here is more around 'dating' which can mean 'we went on a date'. But people also say they're dating when they are seeing each other monogamously and are pretty much bf/gf

What Girls Said 9

  • Only if he asks or imply it if he suggests it. Otherwise he'll think you mean no sex ever, even if you're exclusive and even good men can't wait that long. You're not obligated to sleep with anyone you don't want to.

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  • I let guys know straight up that I don't even kiss on the first date.

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  • Yes, you have to tell them, some guys feels strongly about different things hun.

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  • No don't tell him let him like you for you if he understands he won't leave you

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  • This is standard. You're never obligated to give sex and it's a known fact

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  • I don't think you have to mention that until things get serious

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  • Yes, not first contact, but early on. It's very important to some.

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  • So you only feel obligated when he pays for 100%? There's a word for that...

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    • I like how you did not read my details

  • I'd say to tell him when you start kissing heavily that you don't go farther until... Whenever it is you go further.

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