While I was Skyping my boyfriend after Canada Day (July 1st), he told me he had something to tell me.
He hashed out what happened when his dad invited all of his friends: everyone got drunk. Including this girl (mind you, the only one that wasn't Asian in a party full of Vietnamese people who ONLY spoke Vietnamese). My boyfriend's dad's friend had brought over his son's girlfriend.
So, everyone gets drunk and my boyfriend is left to drive people to their homes. After he is done with his second last round, he comes back to pick up the girl as she is the only one left. Apparently, she's outside and as soon as she sees him, grabs his hand and says, "Let's hold hands," leading him back to his own car. At this point, my boyfriend APPARENTLY doesn't do anything and just let it happen because he's mostly thinking, "Oh, is she really that drunk?" (Btw, he's fluent in English).
Long story short, she's hitting on him, flirting, and makes it really obvious that she wants to have sex with him. My boyfriend told me that at one point during the ride, she put her hands down her pants and lifted her shirt. And.. he never once mentioned that he had a girlfriend. :/ He said telling her would have been useless because she was "really drunk". He told me, "Yes, something could have happened; she wanted to have sex with me & I could have if I wanted to, but I chose not to. Doesn't that make you happy?" I'm guessing he said no to her advances.
That's all I can really hold onto, but it doesn't give me much hope. I mean, was he really thinking about me in that situation? Or is it because she was drunk?
Apparently before she left his car, she told him that she really appreciated him driving her home, and then proceeded to throw out her bottle in her recycling bin (had a beer at the front). Then my boyfriend thought she was faking being drunk "after all".
"After all" sounds sketchy & "Doesn't that make you happy?" sound insincere.
Super insecure b/cuz he had already cheated on me before twice. ):
Most Helpful Guy
Yeah he should have told her and not allowed her to do that kind of stuff. It's normal for you to be upset.
I don't know why you would stay with him tho when he has already cheated on you twice, he's obviously gonna do it again, since he basically expects praise from you for not cheating on you.2
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Most Helpful Girl
For me it's tricky, and he's cheated before so that makes it a new game entirely (sorry you had to go through that).
For me it's 1: if he did do something wrong, why tell you the story. Especially in such detail. I mean if he thought you'd somehow find out about the party, ok tell you about the party but he told you a LOT of detail that could potentially hurt you.
2. I do and don't agree on the telling someone you're taken if they're drunk. I am pretty aware no matter how drunk I am (especially if I can put a bottle in the correct bin), so if someone said they're taken, I'd understand. But in his judgement if he thought it'd make no difference - then ok.
3. It's hard to believe someone after they violated that trust. And for me, he should never put himself in that situation, he should've called a taxi or taken her with other people. If he knows he's done things he does NOT have the right to decide how upset you get to be, no matter how much time has passed. He should make sure others are around in those situations, not get snappy at you etc and be doing his best to show you he can be trusted. The honesty is a good start but he could've done more.
But in this case, it seems like he's annoyed you're still holding some trust issues when he says "doesn't that make you happy", when he has no right to determine how long you take to heal. More than it seems insincere.1