Happily dating but still thinking about my ex's? Treating my boyfriend badly?

I've been dating this guy for a few months now, around 4 and its the longest relationship I've been in. I really think it's the best I've been in too. He makes me happy and treats me right. But for some reason I still think about two ex's in particular who dumped me and hurt my heart so badly. It's like I have these urges to check their social media to see the girls they chose instead of me. And sometimes I'll wish they were still mine, that they chose me instead. But it's been at least 6 months since I dated the last one. On top of that, my boyfriends family makes me feel very unwelcomed in their home, and I've been battling depression and bipolarity for years, and quite recently it's gotten aggressive. The days that I'm more depressed I tend to snap at my boyfriend and give him attitude. It's been happening a lot more recently. Like maybe my meds aren't working, but still. I hate that I think about my ex's still while they've damn well moved on and dont give a shit about me, and I hate that I treat my boyfriend shitty when I'm having mood swings and depressive episodes. He's really the one guy I've dated who's treated me the best, and yet I feel like I'm treating him worse than anyone else I've dated. I don't know what's wrong with me. I love him but I think I'm a terrible girlfriend. What do you think? Anybody?

Damn you people are harsh. I appreciate the honesty but I was hoping to get constructive criticism rather than insults thrown at me. I'm human just like my boyfriend and the rest of you.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think sometimes we find it diffict to move on from an ex , because we can't let go of the hurt they caused us. Heartbreak is so painful , you become overwhelmed by so many negative emotions

    The worst thing to do is check their social media. As long as you have that connection you'll keep your pain raw. The only way to move on from heartbreak is to cut all means of contact and keep active and busy

    We cause our own pain by what we choose to think about so every time you find yourself thing about them focus your thoughts onto something else. The quality of our life depends on the quality of our own thoughts.

    Maybe you a aren't ready for a new relationship. You can't love again when you haven't let go of the past hurt. You'll only end up hurting yourself more, and your current boyfriend

    • Sometimes I think I should have waited to start dating again. Should I bring this all up to him? He's very understanding but I know it would hurt him to hear this. I feel like I just reallymessed up

    • Show All
    • Thank you so much for the advice. I really appreciate you're kindness towards me and honesty.

    • Thank you


What Guys Said 6

  • I'd say break up with your boyfriend and try work on yourself first. Figure out things. Try to find a way to handle your mood swings and depressive episodes. Most importantly work on your self estea, and self confidence.

    You are hung up on your ex's just like many other dumb girls. You had drama, you want excitement. You wanted them to change "just" for you. Your boyfriend is too nice. Find someone who treats you nice but also willing to put you in your place ie more assertive not physically abusive. WHo have some passion in life, something going for them.

    Some girls just don't know happy even if it hits them on face. Ultimately only you can figure out why you are so desperate for your ex's approval, and not give time of day to your nice boyfriend. Only you can learn to love yourself.

  • You are treating him like shit. Why does he tolerate you? I'd
    have put your ass out long ago. Yes, you are a shitty girlfriend.
    I'd say he will leave you very soon and he needs to. Get a handle
    on your life or be resigned to being a crazy old cat lady.

  • If you realise you have a problem, why does it still persist. If you know about it, stop doing it.

  • Fix your relationship before you break it

  • I dunno maybe grow up and stop acting so shitty to your boyfriend thats treating you right? Maybe his family makes you unwelcomd because they know or saw you treating him shitty?

    Also see a counselor


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What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like you shouldn't be in a relationship. You should be single and work on yourself. If four months is your longest relationship then those other relationships were insignificant. Your boyfriend deserves a lot better than you.