Guys, would you be okay with your girlfriend telling another man about your sex life?

well i am 20 years old and so is my boyfriend, but i've been talking to an older man (42) for about a year now (me and my boyfriend just started dating 2 months ago) and me and the man i've been talking to first have always liked each other but we both know it isn't just going to work out (even though he lives only a few hours away, he has a girlfriend who he's only with because they have a kid, and i have strict parents and a lot going on, im becoming independent my life is really busy). so i let the idea of us being together go and am now in a relationship. i love it and care deeply about my boyfriend but i still occasionally talk to this man and we're very comfortable with each other and i'll always have a crush on him so sometimes i want to still be sexual with him, but not directly with him. i want to tell him about my sex life with my boyfriend, i know he'd like to hear. but i dont know if my boyfriend would be okay with that and i dont even know how to bring it up.


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25

Most Helpful Guy

  • If talking with this older guy, from a distance (on GAG?) helps you understand, and feel better about how you relate to your boyfriend, and helps you feel understood, and that someone else cares, that is something that should be yours, privately, and you don't need to share that with your boyfriend. It isn't like you are going to be running off with this guy, and he seems like you think of him as a Big Brother/Father kind that you can ask advice, and share personal things, because it isn't sexual, right?
    I think that everyone should have someone, especially someone older, more experienced, that isn't a parent, and won't judge, or punish, but will listen, and offer advice, from their experience.
    I try to do that, to a limited degree, here, answering some questions from younger people, knowing that nobody is really there, teaching you anything, or helping you understand.
    At his age, he would most likely be VERY upset, but in relationships, it is sometimes OK to keep some things to yourself, and private. If you were my girlfriend, and emailing an older guy, wanting advice, and help, I wouldn't need to know, because I trust the women I am with, and sometimes there are some things that are ok to keep to yourself.
    I am glad that you have this person to talk to, and I hope that he can help you, and make you better understand your young boyfriend!! Guys that age are so unsure, so unpredictable, and so prone to reacting to perceived 'slights' that they cannot see the bigger picture, the feelings, and understanding the emotions of relationships, that older, more experienced people know, having made the terrible mistakes, and gone down the wrong roads!!
    You can always send me a private message, as well. Best wishes! :)

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    • Consider this part of what she said, "but i still occasionally talk to this man and we're very comfortable with each other and i'll always have a crush on him so sometimes i want to still be sexual with him, but not directly with him." She is crushing on the older guy and wants to be sexual with him, and by discussing her sex life with her boyfriend with him, she is getting a sexual kick with him. That is not okay. That is a sexual thing, as she states, and not something to better understand her boyfriend.

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    • "Maybe she is crushing, maybe even fantasizes, or diddles a bit, thinking about this 'ideal' of this guy!!" That is not just thinking differently. That is emotionally cheating. Which you seem to be fine with. So to each their own.

    • @Red_Arrow Then let's just choose to believe different things. I bid you well, and good wishes, Sir.

What Guys Said 24

  • Sharing your sexual secrets with the older guy is your way of being sexual with him, as you yourself said, so you are not being true to your boyfriend. I would not put up with that, your boyfriend would not, and you should see that something is wrong with that.

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  • No I would not be ok with it

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  • Nah thats fucked up. Your not putting 100% in your relationship with your boyfriend. Your holding onto this old dude. Let go and move on.

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  • Depends on how jealous your boyfriend gets. A guy who gets jealous easily probably would not like that idea a whole lot and some just will not like it at all. You just have to feel it out or ask him if he would be okay with it

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  • I received many confessions but my lips are sealed.

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  • I wouldn't want my girlfriend talking to anyone about our sex life, doesn't matter who it is, that's private between us and nobodies business.

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  • Sex life is strictly between you and your partner

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  • I would be okay to this. Even I enjoy to listen a girl's sex life with her boyfriend. I mean if you want , you can even tell the stories to me. I can gladly listen to you :)

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  • I would not be pleased to say the least.

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  • It depends upon person you're talking with and what part of sex life. No harm , but be cautious.

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  • Well, no.

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  • I wouldn't not be ok with this. If you wanted to talk to someone maybe a close female friend? But an older guy? No way.

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  • I'm a machine in bed, so I am more than happy for my girl to tell the world.

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  • You're emotionally cheating on your boyfriend, don't talk to some man outside of the relationship about sex. Don't be a cunt. You know better.

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  • No I would not be ok, have you told your boyfriend about older guy? If I was your boyfriend and you told me all this I would definitely consider breaking up.

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  • do whatever you want

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  • This is one of those times where many users wish they could punch the monitor and have you feel it.

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  • you have a crush on another man while being with your boyfriend? no thats unacceptable.

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  • does your vf know about this man?
    nah. i eouldnt be cool with that. id dump you

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  • F*** no.

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  • NO!!! NEVER!!!

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  • No he won't be ok with it and he has every reason to not be ok with it, that's beyond disturbing and unhealthy for both your relationship and the older man's. The girlfriend and your boyfriend deserve more respect than this, either cut ties with this man or tell your boyfriend so he can know you're chatting about sex with someone who is old enough to be your father.

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  • I would not be happy if my girlfriend told some dirty old pervert about our sex life. He is probably wanking away to what is told.

    If I do find out, I would definitely find ways and means to punish her during sex.

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  • u nasty slut

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