Please I need help why did he tell my boyfriend this and lie?

Ok about two months ago I was talking to my boyfriend's best friend about my dad being racist. Well he asked about it and about how I feel. Well I told him when I was little because I didn't understand what being racist meant when my dad would say bad things about black people I'd listen. And when I was a little girl I guess I believed those things and would say racist stuff as a child. I didn't understand when I was little what some of the words I was saying meant I just knew it's what I was told. But as I started getting older and hanging out with more people I realized how racist those thoughts my dad has are so bad and I began to change. And my senior year I started to like a guy who happened to be black and I started to fall in love with him very much despite the racism around me at home. Well his friend decided to tell him this and twisted my words to say I use bad language and I don't view my boyfriend as a person and that I think all these bad things about him but I don't. And now I'm scared my boyfriend is mad and is questioning this because he's been friends with this guy since they where like five so he'd never question him. But I didn't say those things, I love my boyfriend so much and what I told his friends was stuff I thought as a child because I didn't understand then what they meant. please help me I don't know what to do to fix this


Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh look, another fucking SNAKE in life, what a surprise (not you op). Here's the thing, your ACTIONS obviously overule the "crap" you spewed out as a child and you've grown to know it was stupid to say, accepted it and moved on. Obviously, you're with your boyfriend as PROOF of that. If he can't see that, then maybe he isn't the one. I understand the whole best friends deal, but my point still stands your actions obviously are opposite of what you've done before. The best way to fix this is to just speak with your boyfriend and explain everything yourself, do not stutter, be honest, and be confident... ooh yeah and without the snake around to eavesdrop. If your boyfriend can see in your eyes and body language that you're telling the truth then the snakes poison will not work. ^^

    His best friend lied and that seems to be jealousy to me by the way. He wants what he is "supposedly" losing and trying to keep that brotherly bond that he "thinks" he's losing. Just my 2 cents

    • But why would he be jealous? He sees my boyfriend way more than me. I'm not allowed to go to my boyfriend's house because his family would wanna meet mine and that can't happen but his friend can. I have to lie and sneak out of the house just to see my boyfriend but his friend lives rigjt next door and they hang out every day. I would never keep my boyfriend from his friends at all. And I don't understand what he'd have to be jealous of. He knows i love his friend and would do anything for him, so why lie and make me seem so bad when he has nothing to gain because I haven't taken anything from him

    • Show All
    • I'll try telling him and I'll show him the messages so he'll know what was said. That way hopefully he'll understand how crappy I feel that everything got twisted and I feel horrible about everything that happened

    • Sounds like a good plan. I hope the odds are in your favour OP.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If your boyfriend believes that he's dumb. Like basically all kids who are taught to be racist are racist, and the dumb ones continue it to adulthood, while smarter ones like you see the truth and get over it. It takes a lot for somebody to get over something that their own parents drummed into their heads, so you did well.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

What Girls Said 2

  • He doesn't like you and doesn't want you with his friend

  • Next time be careful about the things you divulge to someone. Everything you say can be used against you. Call your boyfriend and explain things to him.

    • I only did because he told me he was my friend and that he wants me to be able to talk about stuff and that we where cool. But I don't understand why he lied when I clearly told him I don't think like that anymore and that I love his best friend. It hurts because I thought he was my friend