I've dated my boyfriend for two months now. (We were best friends for 3 years before dating.)
When we first started dating, everything seemed fine. My family already knew him and accepted him and his family were the same way with me. It wasn't until recently that his family started to treat me differently.
His father was the first one to start treating me different. Soon, his mom did the same. (I was shocked because I thought we were close.)
I hadn't done anything wrong. I didn't understand.
Yesterday, my boyfriend got into it with his father. He asked him what's his issue with me. That's when I saw his father's true colors. He said that he didn't want his only son to date a black girl. He said that people like me are bad news and that we're untrustworthy.
I haven't done a single thing to him or his family to make them think that way. It wasn't until later that evening, that my boyfriend sat down and talked with me.
He said that his dad isn't racist, it's just he tends to be judgmental of blacks. He told me that his dad wasn't always this way, but he became like that after a family member, (my bf's late aunt.) was murdered a decade ago by a person who happened to be black.
He also told me that his parents had been trying to talk him into breaking up with me, but he said he's not going anywhere.
I don't know what to do. I've always been taught that family comes first no matter what and I feel like he should put his family before me. (Even though I don't agree with their beliefs.) this was never an issue when we were just friends all that time. Why is it a problem now? And should I break up with him and continue to just be friends?
Most Helpful Girl
"I've always been taught that family comes first"
Family might come first, but this rule certainly doesn't apply when their ideas make no sense whatsoever. You shouldn't stand by anyone only because you're related to them, if what they say is completely out of this world.
To me it sounds like your boyfriend is handling the situation, although I don't agree with him when he says his father is not racist, judging someone by their skin colour very easily falls under the definition of racism.
It's really up to you to know whether you can stand this kind of behaviour or not. You might want to simply avoid his family for a while until they learn to accept it. I know that, if I was you, I wouldn't want to create this kind of issues either, I totally understand, but as long as your boyfriend accepts it, I'd say stay.
It's 2016, why would you want to let racism win anyway? You both enjoy your relationship and let them complain.0