Am I not good enough for guys I like?

I have one big problem in dating. I am 27 and have been single my whole life. This means I have never had a boyfriend and I have never even dated anyone for a month or two. What I have experienced is mostly first dates and sex, not that I expected anything when I agreed to hookup with a guy. One thing I have been wondering about lately is that I occasionally receive attention from guys who are my type. I find them attractive. I feel that I click with them, and that we have some things in common. They will be the ones who initiate and compliment my appearance and I wonder how many of them are lying, but their interest is never genuine. They never want to date me. If they want anything, it is just sex. It makes me think I am not attractive enough for them, like I am just there to flirt with and fill time, an ego trip, maybe to hookup with until they find someone who is girlfriend material. So I wonder if my looks are often one of the main problems and that these guys are out of my league.

At this point I find the idea of anyone nice actually wanting to date me incomprehensible. I know most people would agree these days that dating has become harder but for me, it is impossible. It seems like if I did have boyfriends before, they would have all been guys I didn’t like and didn’t find attractive. There were some guys where it was so obvious they wanted to date me but I tell myself they don’t count because I wasn’t interested. Therefore nobody ever wanted to date me. There are probably two guys I regret not giving a real chance. The rest were terrible, in their looks and/or the way they acted. Then again I don’t think most of those guys wanted to date me after a few dates or talking to me anyway.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not all about looks, if you think it is you aren't ready for a relationship. Don't generalize as this sounds like experiences with some assholes in your area. The girls in my area suck too, that's why I don't want to date them cause they only want looks, sex and money. You need to get out of your area or go on a dating website and meet some people who are interested. I suggest you stop thinking so negative of yourself cause guys don't like a girl with low self esteem. I'm almost 17 and have never had a girlfriend, sex or my first kiss but I couldn't care less cause I know there's someone outside waiting for me in the future. You are no different, there is a great guy out there waiting for you and he's trying to find you but you aren't looking for him. Start looking

    • I thought I was looking, maybe too hard at times actually. That can also be a problem if you are looking too hard. I have been on dating sites for several years actually and nothing ever came of it... since I was 21. So every guy I have met was through online except for one guy I met at a random place in public.

      Why am I still doing online dating if it has never worked, you might wonder? Well, at least I get dates out of it, talk on the phone, and Skype with guys. I feel like it doesn't hurt to keep up my dating profiles up in case anyone wants to contact me. Except for that one time I have mentioned, I have never met anyone at school, through friends, at work, or a random public place. Some people I have told about my being single problem said that online dating was the problem, but I'm not sure if I agree. I think by now I should have had a few boyfriends, whether it was through a dating site or the old fashioned way.

      Sorry, I guess I should have included this in my original post

    • If onlin dating don't work either, ask a friend to hook you up. It can't hurt

Most Helpful Girl

  • I know this is over said but you jsit haven't met the right guy yet


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think there are so much to say about your situation right now.
    You're not so confident. Improve your self esteem by making yourself look better for example go to gym or take care of yourself more. Kill the thing that makes you feel less confident.
    Be honest with yourself about your league and your standards. If your not so attractive and you want really attractive guys that's not gonna work if you want a serious relationship because in a serious relationship both sides need to be the alike. That's what only you can tell about yourself.

    • Well, there are some guys I laugh with, smile, ask questions, and have a good conversation with and they are still not interested. I don't think my low self esteem shows... maybe it does a little. Do these guys have to date someone with perfect self esteem? I don't think so.

  • I can also relate but it seems guys are more at risk than girls are at being in a situation like this

    • Yes, I was wondering if it's normal for women to face this much rejection. I guess it's not. lol

    • Reason why I say this is because girls usually don't seem at risk at being single this long like guys do because girls don't have to be the initiators

What Girls Said 1

  • I feel for you and can relate. Totally understandable. I am also going through this and am in a situation right now.

    • Read my posted question and all the respnses and such and tell me your take. I wish I could be of more help to you, if only I understood my situation better and clearer.