Guys, why do you try to get girls to talk to you away from the dating site you met her on?

Hiya, so today I was just wondering why when I get chatting to a guy on a dating website, he asks me to talk on another website, another app, by e-mail etc. instead.

I'm talking about free dating websites (not ones where he has to pay to send me a message or whatever).

It has happened a few times now and I'm honestly confused as to why men do it.

Usually I just say no and stop talking to him (mostly because I can't be bothered, I'm not going to start using a new website or app just to talk to him).

I'd love to hear why men do this!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I only ever give my email address to females I really care that much about keeping in touch with, with the intent of getting more focused on just us. Other than that I never ask girls to move to another site. However, I have had several females suggest that we go to Yahoo! Messanger, Kik, Skype, and Instagram. So I'm not sure this is really so much just about guys like you're saying; it's probably that as a female you've experienced it vice versa.

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    • Oh I never thought of that, I have no idea what messages men get!

Most Helpful Girl

  • This topic is very informative. I've always wondered why guys do this too!

    From my point of view it feels like they have malicious intent and they don't want the convo recorded on the dating site because they might be IP banned or something. It's always such a chore to go off site to have a conversation. And the fact they don't explain WHY they want to talk to you through another messaging system makes me suspect something shady is going on.

    But now that I'm reading responses from the guys I see it's just a way to find out if we're real or not. Weirdos are often attracted to these websites so I often don't want to give them my personal account because if they turn out to not be what they say they are I can ghost. It also seems too forward to give them a tool to keep tabs on me when I don't know who they are.

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    • I've always thought it was a bit dodgy, I usually say no and stop talking to them. Also I really can't be bothered, it's a pain even filling out one website profile, never mind registering on loads of new ones!

      There are some interesting answers here though.

      But I also wouldn't want to give a total stranger my number, not until we're meeting anyway.

What Guys Said 5

  • mainly because while guys talk tom girls some other guy might peak your interest and you blo the guy your talking to of or some other guy tries to get between you guys by being more aware of thing you like which ruins it for the guy your talking to.

    yeah you dont know each other but talking ona dating site when you have met someone s less one on one and there is more of a chance of you not talking to him. though it can go that way for girls as well when i guy has more than one girl he is talking to. there has to be a way to talk with no distraction from your interest or his interest.

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    • Really? That seems kind of silly. We get so many messages on these things, taking the chat to kik or email isn't going to increase anyones chances. It just makes me feel put out. Like I have to do more work to talk to the guy and there's too many of them to sort through already. To us, it's one more reason to pass them up and go to the next guy.

    • @WillowTree I agree actually, that's what I think too.

  • I usually do it as a progression to the next level. It is more personal to chat with text and email. An intermediate step between meeting online and meeting in person. I think most guys are cool with a 'no', and continue using the website's chat if you're not comfortable, and some women are uncomfortable moving onto another form of communication. A man asking for your number for texting is normal after around the 4th communication on the website.

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    • Thanks, I never thought of that. But I still don't want to text someone I've never met, especially if I'm paying for the texts. I usually only give a man my mobile after we've arranged a date, on the day of the date.

  • for some reasons

    first to make sure that we are really talking to a girl

    or we are talking to the real girl in the picture we see

    cat fishes everywhere :)

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    • This makes me laugh because surely arranging to meet is a much easier way to tell those things! Thanks though, it's good to know that could be a reason.

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    • yeh i had to travel once to london to meet this girl after 3-4 months ldr relationship but she chickened out and she apologized but i ended it
      well all luck for you madam :)

    • Thanks, good luck to you too.

  • Wtf lmao if u mean tinder, id usually ask for their number and bang

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    • No, I'm not talking about Tinder, for exactly why you said. I'm talking about actual dating websites, not hookup ones.

  • Guy scammers pretending to be girls also do this. You were probably going to get scammed.

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    • Thanks, it does seem a dodgy thing to do.

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm not a guy but my friends have explained this to me. One: he could be slyly asking for your number. That way, if you say no, he didn't ACTUALLY ask for you number and have his ego bruised (guys are weird). Or like Tinder for example, they may not want the notifications on for it because then someone could see it and judge them, but they don't want to constantly check the app every five minutes seeing if you've responded. So if they ask to talk on say, Whatsapp, they can be notified that you messaged them without worrying about someone seeing a dating site notification.

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    • Hmm thanks, that's interesting.

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