My boyfriend is really attracted to really skinny girls, and I'm chubby. How do I stop being upset?

My boyfriend really, really likes skinny girls, and I mean SKINNY. Told me that everyone thought his ex girlfriend was anorexic, but he was incredibly attracted to her body. He told me all this before we were dating, he would never say any of this now for fear of hurting my feelings. It's making me so insecure. I feel like I'm second rate for him, like if I want to be good enough for him or want him to really be attracted to me I have to lose weight. I'm 5'3 and my weight changes between 125-135 frequently. I like to keep it as low as possible but it's hard. My boyfriend HATES fat people. Like seriously is so disgusted by them it's ridiculous, yet he tells me he loves me no matter my size and will always find me attractive. I talked to him about this and he reassured me that despite liking it he still loves me more than anything and is attracted to me, even if my body isn't his 'type.' He told me he loves my body because it's ME, so he'd love it no matter what. I'm on the brink of developing an eating disorder over this, I don't know what to do.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Whatever you do, don't do the eating disorder thing. That's not attractive. If there's one universal quality that's attractive, it's being healthy. Besides, he loves you now. Sometimes preferences change over the course of partners we have. Some of this might just be an epic insecurity bubbling up inside of you. If you want you might work out and do some high-intensity training, that's beneficial for all kinds of reasons besides just him, but don't do it for him if you do it, do it for yourself.

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    • You guys are teenagers, right? So his attraction to women is unlikely to be based on a ton of experience. His idea of attractive is probably going to be based a lot on that one ex and maybe some imagery he grew up with. Now that he's with you, your body type might even be quite ideal in his mind.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're not naturally skinny, you shouldn't strive to be thin. Your goal should always be to maintain good health, either you'll have to trust your boyfriend when he tells you he thinks you're pretty (would he really want to be with you if he wasn't attracted to you?), or get out of the relationship. But I don't think the guy/your relationship is the problem here, you have to stop being insecure about your body, because it's awesome just the way it is. ❤️ You shouldn't compare yourself to his ex, you're you and he likes you for a reason.

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    • 3mo

      Thank you, hope you feel more confident in the relationship now :)

What Guys Said 7

  • Uh your weight is average lol it's fine and no do not tread into unhealthy areas just to appease your boyfriend. Your health comes first.

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  • I guess you just have to let it go

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  • The most important that that you wrote was that he said that he loved you, even though you were not what he had been attracted to normally.
    If you want to improve your physical appeal, join a gymnasium and have one of the personal trainers create a programme for you. . . then follow it.
    I can also recommend the Herbalife weight management programme. My daughter lost 19kg that she put on while she was at university and has used the Herbalife maintenance programme to keep it off.

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  • Preferences are not rules. Just because he has an attraction to thin women doesn't mean he dislikes how you look. Don't let jealousy and insecurity destroy the relationship.

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  • You're dramatic.

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    • No fucking way. I'm well aware that I'm dramatic, I'm looking for a way to fix that.

    • I recommend you focus on that then rather than how fat you are.

  • If he hates fat people why is he dating you? That makes no sense at all, just get away from him, I dont even know if you're overweight or not, but it seems like he's getting into your head and making you feel awful.

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  • Why the fuck don't you go cry somewhere else

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What Girls Said 7

  • Did you ever think that if you're boyfriend is attracted to you yet is disgusted by fat people that you're probably not fat? You don't have to be anorexic thing OR fat... there is an in between which happens to be what most people find the most attractive. Stop being so hard on yourself. I suggest seeing a doctor or therapist if you really think you're able to develop an eating disorder over this, or find a new boyfriend who doesn't make you feel so bad about yourself (even though it doesn't seem like he's doing it intentionally).

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  • Think about this: if he didn't like you and he wasn't attracted to you then he wouldn't even be dating you. Have a little faith in your boyfriend and stop looking down on yourself.

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  • You're not chubby...

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  • If he didn't want to be with you.. He wouldn't be. Stop overthinking things

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  • That's funny I'm really really really skinny and my boyfriend is into BBW, chubby girls, curvy girls. Every time I see a fat girl I just want to punch her in the face.
    But they aren't the problem and you aren't the problem. Your boyfriend has a preference. Nothing you can really do about it. If he makes you feel worthless then he's not right for you. Don't try to change for people.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ1AuQX7Gig

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  • Maybe he just use you? I'm myself disgusted by fat people and I can't even touch them so I think maybe it's a dare or something

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  • If he didn't like you or wasn't attracted to you, he wouldn't date you. Don't develop an eating disorder please. If you want to loose any weight, loose it for YOURSELF. And do it in a healthy way (eating good foods and working out or running etc...)
    Plus, 125 pounds for being 5'3 isn't chubby girl

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