So I've been seeing a girl who's been acting super clingy ever since I met her. I posted a question about it the other day, but her clingy behaviors include, blowing up my phone daily, sending nudes if I don't respond soon enough, asking me to hang out nearly every day, throwing a fit if I'm not able to hang out certain days and accuse me of seeing others (when were not even in a relationship), or even throw a fit if I reschedule our dates and still ask if I still wanna see her.
The reason I think it's a double standard is because when I've asked some people about it, guys say dude smash it or she's into you and some women will say the same things and act like I'm being unreasonable or an asshole. I'm kinda hesitant to even sleep with the girl then part ways because that might drag the situation on even further.
But let's be honest here. If me or any other male acted this way, especially by sending dick pics to get a girl's attention, throwing a fit if a girl isn't available, or ask to hang out every day, she'd run for the hills. She'd tell her friends and most likely her friends would say eww drop him, that guy sounds clingy, needy, and desperate as fuck.
And believe me, I had to learn the hard way how clingy behavior is a turn off. I've made some mistakes that made me come off as clingy just by misreading signals.
Clinginess/distant isn't a black and white thing either. You can stay in touch without contacting someone 24/7 or not contacting them at all. It's called balance. Plus I have a life of my own.
I just think it's nonsense that when a girl acts clingy, it's ok even if the girl is physically attractive but once a guy acts this way, it's an instant dealbreaker. Not that I'm saying it should be ok for guys to act clingy because clinginess isn't ok regardless of gender
Most Helpful Girl
I wouldn't say it's a double standard. Clingy girls are just as "hated" as clingy guys are. I just think that maybe people who haven't experienced clingyness themselves don't realize how awful it is lol. Especially guys who don't typically get attention from girls.0
Most Helpful Guy
I don't think it's too much of a double standard. We're just kind of hard wired differently and have a different kind of upbringing as to what to expect. Clinginess is a kind of weak/submissive behavior. It's somehow just a tad more forgivable for girls at the moment, though ideally we wouldn't tolerate it for either sex.
That said, about clingy girls, they tend to be a lot more fun in the short term. The amount of attention they'll want from you and give you is pretty nice provided you can keep up with it. Where things can start to suck is longer term when they start making you choose between time with them or your friends, things like that.
If you have a conscience, I wouldn't "smash it" and move on. Clinginess will tend to be accompanied by major heart-breaks and lots of drama. Maybe better if you talk to her about her tendencies and see if she can at least make some progress towards adjusting her behavior. You could stress the need for some degree of independence and space as being a critical ingredient of a healthy relationship.1
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