Are guys still chivalrous when it comes to dating?

I personally am, but how do you all roll?
ladies do you still like that sappy shit?

  • yes
    66% (156)59% (137)62% (293)Vote
  • no
    34% (81)41% (96)38% (177)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Not always but I fully appreciate when they do. I feel like classic chivalry - opening the door, offering to pick up the bill, etc - is just polite. And it's important that I'm with a guy who's respectful and was taught manners.

    And because I already know that boys on this site are gonna rage at me because "girls never offer to pay"... yes they do. At least, mature and polite girls do. Especially if they are feminist; we like being seen as a self-sufficient equal. Although I'll be honest, a lot of guys tell me that they don't care about the bill at all, and they WANT to pay, even dislike when the girl tries to. Guess everyone's different.

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    • Was with you until you dropped the F bomb!

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    • Hahaha 😂😂😂😂 nice talking to you.

    • Likewise! 😁

Most Helpful Guy

  • I always treat her like a princess, opening doors, holding her hand, adjusting the chair, when she sits for dinner.
    I like it, and the Ladies I like, just beam, and seem to love the special attention.
    It isn't 'sexist' and she isn't anything lesser, that I give her some extra special attention, and respect, caring for her!!
    The only reason I have, being against some 'Feminist' ideas, is that I like to treat the lady I adore, in a very special way!! I think that some 'feminists' would see this as sexist, and hate on it!!
    Being respectful, and caring, and treating a lady well, how is that wrong? How is that 'sexist' if she loves the attention, the respect, and love?

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    • Preach it my friend!

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    • I can be considered a feminist and I agree that it's dumb when women take offense to that sort of stuff...
      people hold the door open for ROYALTY! it's not degrading.
      Some feminists always want to hold a victim mentality which I think is annoying & is the opposite of empowering.

      However, there are also anti feminists who will say that feminists are hypocritical for being OK with chivalry. I see that a lot.

      Personally, if someone doesn't want to hold doors open for me it's no skin off my back, I can just do it myself, but it's brownie points if they do it.

    • @mistixs Great perspective!!

What Girls Said 31

  • Some guys are, some aren't.
    If a guy is chivalrous to me (like pulling out my chair, holding the door, etc.), it'll definitely work in his favour. However, I think such things should be done for everyone, and not be exclusively reserved for women.

    It's not like I'm unable to hold my own door open or am so cold that my life will be threatened by it, just because I lack dangly bits between my legs, y'know? On that point.. yes, chivalry is nice. Maybe on the first few dates. But thereafter, once the symbolic shit it is all done with, I'm fine with and almost prefer paying for myself or opening my own door.
    We can't expect to be treated like equals if we're going to demand that men be wiping our asses around the clock!

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    • One thing i admire about you is your views are all the same and you never change them to suit you. :) *we chated before on a similar topic. lol

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    • Actually studies show that women do indeed feel colder than men do

    • @mistixs we generally have a lower muscle:body fat percentage so that makes sense. Not to say that it's impossible for men to feel cold as well.

  • Yes, we love it!!

    I feel like too many guys these days do the bare minimum to get whatever it is they want with a girl, and I'm sorry, but my fellow ladies oftentimes perpetuate this lowered standard by accepting it.

    I can't tell you how many friends I've watched get school-girl excited over a "hey" text, drop everything, and go hang with the guy that sent it who more than likely only wants a booty call. Then I watch as they become bewildered over why he didn't contact her after that.

    Sigh. Welcome to "dating" in the modern age.

    LADIES, wise up and KNOW your worth, then act within that belief.

    MEN (not boys), do NOT be afraid or think it makes you any less of a man to treat the object of your affection like the queen she is. It is quite the opposite.

    You lovers, dreamers and doers of the world who stop at nothing for the ones you love are the remaining hope of society.

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    • 👏👏👏👏 I was waiting for someone to say this.

    • I can't speak for all the lovers of the world, but as a dedicated romantic myself, I thank you for writing this. It's nice every once in a while to be reassured that no, our quest is not in vain, and yes, there are still girls out there that appreciate our commitment to true love. So again, I thank you ❤️

    • "I'm sorry, but my fellow ladies oftentimes perpetuate this lowered standard by accepting it." I know right.

  • I do like a bit of chivarlry and romance. The guy I am dating does the whole holds doors open for me and stuff, it's the little things. I don't need it but I notice he does these things and it does make me feel more feminine around him. Don't get me wrong, he knows I can fuck a guy up in a few moves (black belt in jujitsu) and I recently told him about a guy being rapey as fuck around me and he said I should have called him and he'd have sorted him out, even though he knows I can handle myself but I like to feel lady like around him and know he's the man, it's nice. But then he's 12 years older than me so I think older guys tend to be more inclined to be that way.

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  • I love when my husband takes initiative. I love that he thinks of me once in a while with out me asking.

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  • Yes, I love it.
    It's actually what made me fall for my boyfriend. He is the first boyfriend to treat me with such respect.
    Our first date he cooked for me and we cuddled on the couch. He walked me home, insisting on it, and kept walking on the side with the cars even though it was 2am.

    He never pressured me into anything. Everything since he has always done things like sleep on the side of the bed nearest the door incase of intruders, opened doors for me, escorted me, etc.

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  • Based on what I've seen here with the guy asking for dates/paying for dates/wanting sex on first date, I'd say chivalry in dating is dead.

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  • "Sappy shit" Get your ass straight. It's being NICE and taking a few extra seconds to show me you CAN be nice/sweet.

    So, DUH, I LOOOVOE that sappy shit.

    **
    - Does he have to? No

    - Would I like him to? Yes.

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    • *sappy shit* was meant in a playful way. lol

    • Re-reading this, it comes across as hostile. lmao. Wasn't intended to be.

    • Nah its cool lol

  • It's not sappy, it's manners and respect. Nothing wrong with that.

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    • You know what i mean. lol

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    • I'm just in that mood rn. Sorry!

    • It is nice tho 😊

  • Yes, at least the guys i grew up with in the middle east, i wish i dated one :( they are all taken by some of my Friends

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    • Im sure there you'll find one.

  • I don't like it, it makes me really uncomfortable, its preferable to show care and protection to the person you like but to follow some ridiculus rules make it really awkward to me.

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    • Awkward? Well if he is smooth, it shouldn't be awkward.

    • I'm not saying he is awkward, I'm saying that whole thing makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable
      besides like holding chair to sit or letting me go first out of the door, like I wanna do that myself, it's annoying, but it's just me
      I like the care to be shown in moments it's really needed when it's real not this stage thing

    • Okay i understand.

  • I like an old school man for sure. Definitely appreciate that.

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  • I love the sappy shit!!! XD

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  • Some are. Some are most definitely not.

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  • I like that sappy shit, but I think most guys do not like it these days.

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    • Why do you think that?

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    • How do I fix it? Can't fix society, but I could at least let a guy know I appreciate it when he does little helpful things so the one I'm with knows what I like. And if our wants don't match up then fine, but at least I put it out there.

    • Thanks for the comment. :)

  • I'm not helpless or some damsel in distress, but I do appreciate that Scott is gentlemanly to me. Holding the door, holding my coat, etc.

    In the same manner I'm considerate of him in the things I do. We love each other & those niceties are just the right thing to do.

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  • Depends on what your definition of it is. Chivlary has never been sappy to me.
    So...

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  • Yes, I still like all that sappy shit lol. Men today are such little boys. Bring back the chivalry lol

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    • Good to know there are still girls like you.

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    • Yes, cry for the little suckers we call "men" today.

    • Hahahaha!

  • it's not necessary, I'll appreciate it if anyone is chivalrous towards me but again, it's not a requirement

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  • I love it... And I think I might be pretty used to it because I have been lucky with the guys I've dated so far.
    But with how people talk on gag and since this is the "hooking up" generation, it's def not as common anymore unfortunately

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  • I always appreciate kind gestures.

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  • All the men I date are, although its never something I automatically want or expect.

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  • Yeah there's some guys out there

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  • God I hope so.

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  • I love that sappy shit.

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  • some are

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  • Chivalry is hot!

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  • Let the rant begin...

    "Sappy sh*t"... sigh... You know who is also chivalrous, me. You know why, because I give a crap about my fellow man and woman. I offer my umbrella to old ladies caught in the rain, I hold open doors for guys whom I see are coming up behind me and ladies who have babies in strollers or anyone with boxes in hand. It's called being a decent person. So many people think this is extra work or something only guys "have to do." BS. It's called being nice and it doesn't take you any extra effort to do or any huge amount of time out of your day.

    So when anyone, man, woman, old, young, holds open a door, I say thank you. When I do the same, they say thank you. When a waiter pulls out my chair, I say, thank you so much, when someone has the absolute decency to see me struggling with a heavy box and holds open the door, I appreciate, when my boyfriend hands me his jacket because he see's I'm an idiot who didn't listen to him when he suggested I bring one, I love..."that sh*t." People, very nice and decent people are chivalrous. It's not about everyone trying to treat a woman like she can't figure out her left from her right. It's just a series of nice gestures, and I hope people get that instead of screaming about how we're in 2016. And if your parents taught you to be kind and hold a door open for someone instead of letting it slam in their face, bravo to them.

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    • 'Sappy shit' was meant in a playful way
      The question was for dating not everyday interactions with people. But I get what you're saying.

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    • That's unfortunate, but that could be said for a lot of youth who are often unappreciative of kindness and do not understand chivalry. I'd venture to say if you met that young ladies parents, you wouldn't be surprised that she was the way she was.

    • I think you are right , bitter , because they kept pairing up with shit , low quality men , single mothers , that branded her daughters brain with man hate. You cannot deny that the " media " always portrays men as sex crazed , incompetent morons , one of several reasons I stopped watching TV around 7 years ago.

  • Guys I date are. I only date that type. Not all are, and it's quite rare these days.

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    • Its rare? :(

    • Really rare. So many think it's a sign of weakness now or that they'll get taken advantage of... you won't be taken advantage of if you choose the right women and not horrible people. It's good for you though, more to choose from because you're so sought after lol.

    • Well you just made my day.:)

  • I like a respectful, kind guy. He doesn't have to pull out all the stops to woo me. It's nice, but not necessary.

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    • Hey beautiful I saw this 🌷and thought of you...

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    • Hahaha have a good day!

    • Thank you, have a good day as well!

  • Yes yes and yes I've been single 8 months and I'm waiting for a man like yourself!

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    • Well I might be too young. Lol

    • Aww I didn't mean you but lots of females appreciate a good man - all the best 💋

    • Haha I know it was a joke. Lol
      all the best to you.😊

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What Guys Said 42

  • I'm sorry but being chivalrous has very little to do with dating or women or treatment of women. That is a very, very smart part of the larger code like its one line out of over a dozen lol.

    That being said I do follow the actual code of chivalry. But I was also raised as an old fashion fello and a gentleman which does largely deal with the above mentioned stuff.

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    • Yes I've always felt like the word chivalry is misused. People don't even seem to know what it really means. It's more about being brave and noble than doing anything for a woman.

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    • Not even. Treatment of people in general (be generous to people) only takes up one sentence and treatment of women is only half of that.

  • I hate the obligations of chivalry. I like to do nice things for a girl I'm interested in or dating but when it's because of a role I'm supposed to fulfill it's not sweet, or nice, or generous. It's a chore and an expectation. And where is the female equivalent? Men are supposed to be chivalrous and do all these things for women to make them feel special but where is the reciprocity? It's bullshit.

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    • This. Very much so.

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    • Women already DO earn their place. That's why relationships are more beneficial for men than women.

    • @mistixs people form stronger bonds from being the giver than to be the receiver, that's scientifically proven, so it makes sense that men would be impacted more.

  • No men are no chivalrous today and it is a direct result of third-wave feminism. It's no longer ins a mans best interest to act in such a way anymore. I'll list out five reasons as to why.

    ONE... The way that people interact

    In a world where emojis rule the digital world and a single ‘like’ on an Instagram picture can be misinterpreted as interest, it’s no surprise that days of old-fashioned courting are history. Unless, or course, you’re the Duggars.

    “When did it become acceptable to just text a girl, inviting her to come bang?”

    The answer to this question is, simply, when girls started saying, ‘Be right over!’ with little to no hesitation. Is that all it takes? I guess it is. And don’t pretend like you’ve never done it. Women and men can be equally interested in sex – and if either side can get away with the bare minimum effort, they will. Why take a girl out to dinner when a simple text will suffice? I get it.

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    • TWO.. Female empowerment

      When I texted my best friend if he thought chivalry was dead, his response was, “Women make it tough to be chivalrous sometimes.” I told him to shut up. Seriously. Although he may have a point, wanting to be independent and treated equally does not mean that women don’t want their guy to open their goddamn door every once in a while. It means they want to be respected – which is on par with how most people (guy or girl) deserve to be treated anyway. I think it is actually more of a compliment if the girl that you are with clearly doesn’t need you, but instead, chooses to be with you not because of her own selfish necessities, but because she actually enjoys your company and wants to spend any of the free time she has with you.

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    • Hey good point!

  • yes i believe there are plenty of chivalrous daters out there

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  • I have never been. I will never be. And I wasn't before it was cool.

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    • Why not?

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    • I have two options:

      1. Get into it with you.

      2. Realize how absolutely pointless it is to get into it with you.

      Give me an hour to think on it.

    • I don't owe you special treatment because of your gender.

  • I don't have a girlfriend sadly but if I did I would be most definitely be chivalrous, honorable, romantic, and all that jazz.

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  • I always try to be chivalrous even when I'm not dating, but if I were dating I would rather be dating a real lady. It would seem like a waste of effort to treat a girl who had no appreciation for traditional values! Ladies, the best way to show a man that you appreciate his efforts is by conducting yourself in a respectable manner ;)

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    • How do you believe a real lady should act?

    • @mistixs In short, I would say a lady should behave in a manner that wouldn't offend one's grandparents :P

      But if you want specifics here's a list of some of the qualities one might deem "lady-like"... Kind, Positive, Respectful, Supportive, Honest, Honorable, Mature, Responsible, Confident, Modest, Wise, and Virtuous... Pretty much the opposite of YOLO

  • I am :-)

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  • I'm still chivalrous.

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  • I've been casually chivalrous my entire life. (Casual as in not as far as helping put them in chairs, but "ladies first" and opening doors for everyone.)

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  • I always try to be chivalrous to my date. also my girlfriend when I have one.

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  • I am

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  • I do the little stuff like opening the door, but not all the extra stuff like pulling out chairs.

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  • I'm chivalrous to the right women.

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  • Nope. Feminism has killed chivalry.

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  • i am to a certain extent.. i dont go full out kissing her ass

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  • only if girls return the favor.

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  • That depends on the guy. If you are looking only at strong, tattooed, frat-house like guys then don't expect any chivalry.

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  • Yeah but don't over do it. Actually mean cause that's what real chivalry is

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  • Sadly, seems it's declining in our current society.

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  • Nope
    Screw that

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  • I usually pay if I like a girl. If they don't let me I kind of take it as an insult.

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  • A real man should get poon on the first date.

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  • Some guys are, some guys aren't. It varies.

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  • i try to be chivalrous with everyone, not just women.

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  • Chivalry is an unjustified tradition and unjustified traditions should die. No.

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  • Chivalry is not dead!
    Especially among men my age and up and coming young MEN who understand and accept their masculinity and it's inherent responsibilities.
    Welcome to the Brotherhood Gents.

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  • No done with that. Not my style anymore.

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  • Lol @ thinking today's women deserve chivalry.

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  • Simps are.

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