Will I end up being a cat lady if I keep being like this, HELP?

A few days ago I started talking to this guy, he seems to have "everything" but somehow I'm not attracted to him?
- He's not unattractive, quite tall
- He's extremely rich (beyond words, i checked his insta >< He lives in a palace, owns crazy cars and flies in private jets)
- He's very respectful and nice loves kids
- He's a "good boy"
- And no he's not way older, he's 3 years older
- He studies in the US and is almost done with Uni and he's taking his father's business
And he comes from the city I was born in.

BUT I'M FRIEND-ZONING HIM although it's obvious he's not looking for a friendship lol

My friends and Mom think it's unhealthy to be like this and that nothing impresses me...
I'm I having false expectations from all the romance movies I watch :( ?
I'm almost 21 and never dated
Is there something wrong with me, I just want chemistry and a "Spark", I want to feel butterflies and excitement <3

  • Yes OP you have a very weird expectations you'll end up Forever Alone if you don't change
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  • No it's normal, you need a spark and chemistry and it's not easy to find, keep looking and don't think about it too much
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  • You're the reason why I hate girls OP
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Connection / spark whatever you call it.. is important.
    But never ever ever get a Persian cat. They shed like autumn.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've heard of a process which is used by some relationship counselors and might help you. Apparently when couples aren't really feeling the passion anymore, it sometimes helps if they just act like it's there. And after a bit, the feelings follow again!
    You and this guy may not be a couple yet, but maybe this could still work if you do all the things you would if you were interested and allow for those feelings to come out, they could become real.
    Because it sounds like you have writers block for the heart. You want love, there's no reason you shouldn't have it, you just need help getting there. Why not try another approach?

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What Guys Said 28

  • Let me see, too much of this
    cdn.trendhunterstatic.com/.../...e-for-tennis.jpeg
    Not enough this
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CXAPk_UW8AA6ZEh.jpg

    Its completely natural, because he probably has the personality of a slug even if has money, is respectful yada yada yada. Too nice, polite and boring for you.

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  • "He's not unattractive, quite tall."

    That is a strange way to compliment someone as it really diminishes whatever compliment you were trying to give. I'm guessing that means you find him only slightly attractive or are trying unsuccessfully to find him attractive. In fact, after reading the rest of what you wrote, I'm convinced that you want to be attracted to him for all the life and personality reasons that you listed, but he's just not aesthetically appealing enough for you. It happens. There are plenty of other men out there that have both looks and everything else for which you are looking.

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  • I think yes, expectation is an issue. But its not only about having too high expectations - but also about you not looking for the right things. Money, looks, etc. are all secondary when you look for a long-term relationship and I think you would do well to get rid of such expectations.

    Who knows, you might find the right guy in a completely different realm. Hence, he might even be a construction worker who just gives you that spark (unlikely - because I know what kind of guys construction workers are and I think they are on a different wavelength than you, but you get the idea) and because of your expectations you might deny that chance. Like who cares about so many things as long as the guy and you feel affection, intimacy and passion for each other and he has his shit together.

    Is money really important? Is being a 10/10 rather than a 7/10 lookwise really important? Is having high social status really important? Is having a degree in a certain field really important? Or are those just secondary things.
    My grandfather always says that in the end we all wear the same dress in our grave no matter if rich or poor. Looks are fading with age anyway. Knowing many people really doesn't say anything about a person, but how he is with his close friends. A degree from an university says nothing about a persons intelligence and a person can also be happy with a smaller job because they do them out of full belief and passion.

    So I think you definitely have an issue with expectations and the priorities you set in a partner. Aka you are not looking for what you should be looking, but paying too much attention to things that are unimportant.

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  • One day, a guy will come by. There will be something about him that makes you wonder about the man inside. What he's really like. What makes him tick. He may not be rich, particularly clever, or even very handsome. He may be just an ordinary person with a little something extra. You will be interested in HIM as a person.

    Don't worry! It WILL happen. Just when you least expect it to. Be ready to catch him as he goes by before someone else does!

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  • Well that spark sometimes happens later, some times its not a spark so much as a click (ie your indifferent and then suddenly your not). Why do you not find him attractive? Do you have things in common? Do you find something off about him? Have you gotten out of a bad relationship (this could cause you to subconciously shut down and shut out feelings as a coping mechanism)?

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  • That "spark" thing is what's ruining everything for you. Wast majority of times a man and a woman will meet and then build up a relationship from nothing. Sometimes you may even have the feeling that you would have to force yourself to like them. But love made from ground up is more stronger than something that came from a "spark."
    By definition, a spark is something that goes out very quickly anyway.

    But anywho, please send pics of cats once you get them lol

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  • The spark comes from whether you find the person attractive at first glance. The more important part comes after when you get to know the person, feel a connection and think, wow I feel much better when I am with them.

    As far as watching romance movies, perhaps watch less of those and spend more time out creating your own romance. Remember the movies are fake... just actors/actresses, creating your own romance is much more fun!

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  • I think it's B... friend zoning does not need to be the sinal stap... maybe if you learn to know him better the spark will come :D
    Don't stress out, enjoy being with the guy and the more you relax, the larger the chance it will happen!

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  • I gave up a long time ago trying to understand how your brain works when it comes to guys... so I won't even try with this one.

    But welcome in my world. Is there a male equivalent to the cat lady?

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  • if you want to feel butterflies first thats a good way to end up a single mom.

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    • Really? Why?

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    • but the spark is not only about appearance though

    • yeah but its fake.

  • Well he's isn't applying for a job 😛 if you like him and have feelings for him then it's wrong to friend zone home but don't date him just because he's good according to the family made list , do what you feel is right love

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    • I don't feel it, he already wants me to meet his family lol ugh ><

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    • How can I do it?

    • Tell him everything in your heart honestly , like tell hin he's good in everything but that's not what you want or that you don't have feelings for him

  • i think that if you have never dated you dont have a reference if you can call it that. so maybe i would just give this guy a shot and get physical with him.

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  • Yeah girl you just gotta find that spark, the right person ya know.

    Also stay clear of pet stores. 'Spark Hazard'

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  • It takes more then the aesthetics for that spark to appear.

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    • I know right! I'm not weird I just don't have a checklist of things to be attracted. there is something else that I can't put into words

    • That spark is uh complicated to say the least.

  • Nope no spark. Gotta have it.

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  • You don't need what you think you need.

    You need a guy to slap you in the face, call you a 'little slut' and fuck you like an animal.

    I am that kind of guy.

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  • Well you should keep looking if you want chemistry and spark...

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  • Nah your t hot to stay single for long :D
    And I think you need to be alone for some time. Forget about movies, boys, everything just get to know yourself and what you really want. After that it might be easier.

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  • If there's no spark you can't force it unfortunately

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  • Seems like his behavior isn't attractive to u and the things he says

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  • You've mentioned a bunch of empty superficial shit. I'm unimpressed.

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  • Honeslty you need to give someone a chance

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  • Damn, he seems like perfection, doesn't he?

    But no spark...

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    • Don't worry. You won't be a cat lady... Being right or wrong doesn't really matter. Just keep moving forward.

  • meh. does he have a huge green gem from the movie Roamncing the stone

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  • Well, only if you buy cats...

    I've read some of the other stuff you've posted and you do give off the vibe of someone who could never accept any guy.

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  • Yes OP you have a very weird expectations you'll end up Forever Alone if you don't change

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  • Lol you women and I need to have chemistry with him is why we have so many single mothers. Chemistry really just means raw animistic attraction which translate over into lust.

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  • "He's a "good boy""

    Yes because i'm sure him being rich, tall, and not unattractive had any weight on what you think of his character.

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    • Is he on rich kids of instagram.

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    • skype? wut

    • Luckily we haven't talked on Skype yet else I might feel offended 😂😂😂

What Girls Said 11

  • Why would you settle for a 6 relationship at 20 because you're on a schedule or do you want a 10 relationship to spend the rest of your life with and truly makes you happy whenever it comes along? It's your life. Do what you want. http://kyleehenke.tumblr.com/post/147317710565

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  • So he's a Saudi guy? And he's inheriting a Saudi business -- meaning that, if you got into a serious relationship with him, you'd be going back there?

    That would... also be a big factor. Big big BIG factor. I mean... eeeehhhh living in the KSA as a woman?
    •___•
    Either that's something you'd really WANT to do... or it isn't. How much would you want to go back?

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  • I would say go on a date and see how you feel then. You're trying to view someone's life through the Internet and that won't show you what he's like in real life (I presume you are cause you said you're talking). So why don't you just go on one date and see how it goes? The guy I like now I never would have thought I'd like him if I saw him on the Internet first, not at all.

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  • The hearts what it wants, being with him would honestly hurt him if you go in half ass. Watch this vsauce video talking about the friend zone and how it can be good. How I found my spark with my boyfriend was when I met him on an online game. XD It's like pokemon you can find them in the most weird and bizare way.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGK2KprU-To

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  • No, you're still young and have long way to go. There're a lot of women who feel like this. We aren't picky, we are just trying to find someone who really match our criteria but it is impossible to find a person who is 100% compatible with us. Perhaps you should give some of these guys a shot to see if any of them could have the spark that you want.

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  • He's just not the one for you. One day, you'll feel it and then you will know.

    I have felt this about really great men too ( although none of them could be classified as rich) but if it's not there it just, well... isn't. It would be far worse to just settle for someone. Seriously.

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  • Do you get good vibes from him?
    Have you ever been attracted to anyone that way?

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    • I have good vibes in a sense that he's really nice and not an asshole or player in the way he talks but I'm not feeling excitement while talking to him ://

    • Hmmm, sometimes there's just not a spark. Nothing wrong with that. It's definitely better to be honest with yourself and him, especially if he's genuinely nice.

  • I don't think that there's anything wrong with you for wanting a real connection with someone. A person can be really attractive on paper but not attractive to you because you don't feel a connection. I don't think that's wrong. I also don't think there's anything wrong with being single forever.

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  • One of these days someone will catch your eye. It isn't too late

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  • what's wrong with being a cat lady?

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  • You might give him a shot and see how it goes. Something might develop that you weren't expecting.

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