Girls, why do I never get a second date?

I'm 24 and I've been using apps like Tinder and Bumble (I know) and recently I've had a few dates with girls I've met on the apps. We seem to get on really well in the intiial talking stage and all of the dates seemed to go well, lots of laughing as well as a few of the 'deeper' topics but nothing controversial like politics / religion etc. but the next day each girl has said that she had a great time but she doesn't see it going further or there was no chemistry. I really liked two of the girls in particular so I was a bit gutted to receive what seems like a stock reply. Am I approaching dates all wrong? Is this just code for them not finding me physically attractive (I deliberately pick profile pictures that actually look like me if that makes sense)? I usually take them to a nice bar/restaurant for a few drinks and a meal is that too much for a first date? I wonder if sometimes I come across too nice and slip into the friend zone? I just don't get it and it's really starting to knock my confidence because I'm not sure if I'm doing something really wrong. I'm sure some will say that I just haven't found the right girl yet but c'mon I'm not even getting second dates! Any help would be really appreciated.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Don’t worry that you are not future boyfriend material; after just one meeting, you can be certain that a person’s years of personal experience have far more bearing on his romantic decisions and inclinations that one encounter with you. Which is all to say: you’re just going to have to keep trying. I know, ugh.

    As for the offers of friendship: well, it can be a lame excuse, although in my experience when guys don’t want to see me again after a first date, I just don’t hear from them again, which is fine. So it may be that these women are genuine in their offers of friendship.

    Accept it if you want more friends; don’t if that part of your social life is just fine. You might just meet people through your new friends who you like even better.

    Wishing you the best of luck.

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  • I don't really know, but it sounds like you're doing all of the right things to me. I don't know how many girls you've taken on dates, but maybe there is the chance that you just happened to get a few duds. It happens.
    As far as Tinder and the like go, I don't have much experience with it other than my best friend showing it to me and talking about it, but I've heard that a lot of the people who use those don't really take dating very seriously. That is just what I've heard though.

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  • well my understanding and experience tinder/bumble.. is mainly for sex. So either it became too "datish" or simply no vibe for sex or they did not find you attractive

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