Every time I get rejected by a girl, my self esteem gets worse and I become bitter and negative. Help?

I've been talking to this girl and she is 18 and so am I. Im a male. She is extremely attractive and what i look for in a girlfriend. I am still a virgin have never had a serious relationship and generally charismatic, funny and intelligent. I have come to the conclusion that I am doing something wrong or i am just plain a loser. I am 6 Feet tall. I am physically defined. I am very intelligent (not boasting). I treat women with respect and dignity. I try and make every girl i am interested in feel special and important. But in the end its either "im talking to somebody else but i think you are attractive. Or "I am not ready" or any other means of rejection and mostly, they always either have a boyfiend or start dating someone like 2 days after i tell them my feelings. I dont know what the fuck it is. But i cannot get a girlfriend. I have been rejected by countless girls and i feel that the saying is definetly true. Nice guys do finish last. I dont get how a girl can prefer being unstable and unsure of whether or not she's being cheated on and being paid no attention to me ready to fucking devote my time to her and be there for her when she needs me and honesty at all times. Its ridiculous. I've thought about the "bad boy" approach but to be 100% honest i just can't do it. Im not a jerk tomgirls and i can't simply be a douche. What am i supposed to fucking do.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ahhhh because you reek of nice guys finish last. We can sniff those guys out a mile away.

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    • I don't understand why girls online latch so strongly onto this idea. We get it, you hate "Nice Guys" it's getting a little old now.

    • @ice_cat I'm just saying that's why he is having troubles because for some reason guys who have this "nice guys finish last" theory reek of desperateness and just bitterness.

    • Honestly, given what many guys were raised with, the fact that they would develop such a mentality is not surprising.

      I don't know what this guy's situation is exactly, so this is mostly tangential, but imagine a girl raised to believe that being 400 pounds is okay and actually DESIRABLE. She will certainly be rejected constantly and if guys expressed their feelings like girls, they'd just tell her that they 'don't feel that way about her.' No one would tell her how to improve and she'd just go through rejection after rejection, spinning her wheels for years in heartbreak. It can make anyone bitter, trust me.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Hi there Anonymous guy, I get what you're feeling and I've been through the same thing. To be honest I don't really know either. I'm just warning you because I'm familiar with this site, you might get some hate for this question which I'm sure won't make you feel any better.

    Firstly, you're only 18 and a lot of guys aren't that successful at that age as you haven't yet had time to fully develop. Secondly, as was my situation, there is a lot more to experience than just a few girls. I've been on 30-40 dates in the past 6 months, none of which really led to anything. At this point relationships have been demoted in my hierarchy of priorities.

    For me, it's even more insulting because girls constantly tell me that I'm attractive yet no one actually wants to date me seriously so I'm left believing that either my personality is a disaster area or girls are just not into guys like me. I don't know, it's frustrating I know...

    Really it's probably experience. As you gain experience making friends, getting closer to people, hearing about their experiences and eventually getting to a point where you can have relationships with girls, it will come easier. Also consider seeing a therapist. There are some good books about this subject too, consider reading "Mate." Most guys on here, probably me included, are equally bewildered as you are with their dating situation, so I'm not sure if this is the best forum for advice. I wish you good luck, college may be better for you and definitely know that this is a common problem.

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    • In the case that you're actually a 36-45 year old troll, then thanks for making me waste a bunch of time writing this opinion.

What Girls Said 2

  • Just be you. Dont change a fcking thing. Sweet guys are to die for. Specifically the type of man i fall for.

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  • Be happy that at least you're into girls your age.

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What Guys Said 4

  • get used to rejection man. look at it as an opportunity to grow a bigger and better person.

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  • Ready some popcorn
    Eat it.
    Try again later.

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  • That's norml. Reection hurts but nothing you can do but hold your head up high. You'll score a chick soon

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  • Get over it.

    You get rejected because you're doing something wrong. Change your approach and figure it out.

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