Why Are Overweight People Considered Ugly In The Dating World?

Just looking for personal opinions. What is it about someone being fat/overweight that makes them unattractive to YOU personally? And by fat, I mean someone who has an extra 50 pounds hanging off their thighs. I've heard most people say it's gross, but a lot of people on here never really say why it's gross to them. The way it looks? They're unhealthy (presumably)? You don't want to be the small one in the relationship? What's your personal vice against it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • it's unhealthy, can be a sign of infertility, genetics sending subliminal messages to avoid them.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The way it looks. The way their lifestyle will never fit with mine. I workout 5 days a week, I deserve someone who puts at least half the effort I do to look good and stay healthy.

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What Guys Said 20

  • Well... I just HATE to use the term 'ugly'. That's among the most HATED words in my dictionary, because I do believe NO ONE is ugly.

    Having gotten that out of the way... I just associate being overweight with laziness and poor eating habits. I agree that people can be overweight due to health issues, but I don't get that immediately. Also, I have suffered from being overweight myself, and I used to be a fat, unattractive slob back then. So yeah, I did put in efforts to shed all the extra pounds. Hence, it wouldn't be hypocritical for me if I don't find overweight people attarctive.

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  • For me personally I tried dating an overweight woman (not quite as fat as you described, but maybe "chubby") and I tried to be open-minded because she was fun and sweet (she worked as a nurse) and I liked her personality, but I really could not develop the sexual attraction for her.

    I didn't like her soft round body in the bedroom, she was prone to sweat a lot, dancing with her was a bit awkward where she just wrapped her arms around me and didn't move very gracefully, and I think she might have been as heavy as I was or more in spite of being a tad shorter.

    Might just be a matter of personal preference but I came to really fall for the "slim-fit" type of figure. It felt elegant and graceful to me, and the girls I dated with this type of figure (my wife included) could run and leap and move in such a beautiful way. I liked holding their figure tightly, their small and supple breasts didn't kind of dangle, and their body weight was distributed evenly. Most of all they could almost keep up with me if I sprinted and were so energetic which made for a very playful and physical kind of relationship which I loved.

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    • I should point out that this "slim-fit" figure wasn't what I was originally drawn to either. I was drawn to that kind of busty bombshell hourglass figure. It was primarily through a sense of touch and the fact that women I dated with this type of figure were so energetic, physical, and flexible that I came to fall in love with that body type above all others.

      For me when a woman gets too round there might be some guys who love the "extra person". In my case, that one chubby nurse I dated wasn't very energetic, was prone to exertion, and we spent most of our date sitting down. Everything from the difference in the dating dynamic to the difference in feeling when I held her figure made it difficult for me to fall for such a girl.

    • I did try to keep an open mind in all of this. I even dated a black woman when I originally was not so attracted to black women, and after her I started to think so many black women were gorgeous because I fell in love with her skin and her body. But overweight women never had that effect on me, even though I tried. There's just a level of superficiality there to me I cannot surpass, but beyond the superficial there are qualities like just not being so physical/energetic and not moving so well. Great personalities to me are actually a dime a dozen, I have so many friends with fantastic personalities and really pronounced characters that I really enjoy when it comes to their company. But for me to have romantic feelings towards a girl requires that I lust after her to some extent, and I never found I could lust over a chubby type of woman (fortunately there are some guys out there who can). Perhaps even our personalities are too incompatible, since I'm a very physical type.

  • It looks bad. It's not appealing to see all the flab all loose and hanging.
    There's also no shape either, it's just like... there, all the fat. You can't appreciate the curves, the boobs, the shape if her legs... Also the face has no shape, it's just round (not every fat person deals with a fat face, though, but most do).
    Not to say that when it comes to sex, fat women's vaginas are like "hidden", they're sucked in between the fat. I've never been with a fat woman, but I've seen pics online and it looks that way.

    Besides just how it looks, they also tend to sweat more, obviously, which is kinda disgusting sometimes.
    They can't deal with the same physical effort as skinny/healthy people, so if we're gonna go on a walk... we're not gonna make it far.

    Plus, we're inherently drawn to healthy people, I believe, cause no one wants to procreate with someone that's not healthy.

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  • Overweight doesn't automatically mean ugly.

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    • My gal is a bit chubby but I think she is beautiful. She is putting in way more effort than I am in trying to be healthy. Runs/walks almost daily. We played soccer late at night this week. I maybe on the thin side ( 28" waist ) but her habits are healthier than mine at the moment.

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    • Not sure but it shouldn't be that way

    • It really shouldn't.

  • I think it comes from the fact that people are generally driven to find things that suggest healthy genes attractive. Fitness is health so fit people are generally more attractive. That said, that can be changed by society. I've heard that in ancient times. weight was seen as a sign of wealth and was attractive.

    Personally, I just find a toned hard body more attractive than something that isn't (even though my own body is very much 'normal') because it seems healthier. Honestly though I don't know why I like it. It's hard to explain. It's like explaining why I'm straight and not gay.

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  • Because it's excess fat. Being fat isn't attractive. It's also not healthy and causes medical problems. As some dude said, it has to do with intensifying women. No it doesn't. It's biology. Most girls aren't into fat dudes either. And better looking people have better genes. And to some extent, having an attractive woman (or man) is a reflection on the individual. If I can bag a hot chick, it says to others that I'm also attractive in some way, maybe looks wise or personality wise. Also, if I'm having sex, it'd be pretty nice to know she won't either crush me, eat me or pass out on me after 30 seconds

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  • 1. it´s a sign for bad character traits. you don´t get fat, if you have discipline and will power. (or maybe bad parenting so she was fat to begin with but that doesn´t matter cause i don´t know).

    2. it´s not visually pleasing, if she has those lard flaps everywhere

    3. it would be physically not such an enjoyable experience. how are you supposed to manhandle a girl you can´t even lift?

    4. a sign for bad health. our natural instincts look for a female to carry our offspring. knowing that this much overweight is very unhealthy makes a fat girl a bad choice. we want a healthy woman.

    having said that "overweight" is a very inaccurate term... most people like "overweight" girls as in above normal BMI, that is curvy. morbidly obese not so much so but there are still some who like it.

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  • Fat looks disgusting

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  • Three reasons, related to reproductive fitness, that, for that reason, are considered unattractive.

    1 as we age, we tend to get fatter. Age is negatively correlated with reproductive fitness.
    2 being fat negatively affects your health, which negatively affects your reproductive fitness
    3 being fat reducws women's fecundity directly and increases their risk of diseaaes related to pregnancy like preeclampsia, and diabetes.

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  • There is no conscious reason I dislike it. It's probably about health, genes, etc. but is all just natural selection.

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  • There's cheese and filth in those things.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_TC-PFYnjo

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  • Cause they are just like balding people like myself are people are harsh about your flaws. I have people acting like supermodels when their fat like your not worth putting up with all the shit. I quit weed and cut back drinking and they can't lose a few pounds. I'm like 20 pounds overweight they are like 45 pounds overweight. I'm active they are not, I'm at my wits end after 2 weeks of only texting no meeting up. We've had sex but last two times were disasters

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  • They're not, it's just a matter of personal preference.
    I talked to a more chubby lady on here a few minutes ago and, she IS beautiful (= not ugly at all), but I'm not physically attracted to her

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  • It looks unhealthy, yes. It lowers their attractiveness. It's not something you can easily put into words

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  • it's the way you treat yourself or themselves. I notice that people with an extra 50lbs typically are self contentious of it and don't want people pointing it out.

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  • It's just the essence of it., there's no "reasoning", it simply does not evoke any visceral attraction. It feels the same as looking at a guy or an inanimate object in terms of sexuality.

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    • That's based on your description of "50 pounds hanging off their thighs". If it's just like 10-20 pounds overweight throughout their body, that does not really matter, but if their fat is visible through loose clothes, then there's no real reasoning to it I just feel nothing about them sexually.

  • My personal annoyance is that fat women still want a guy with a model's figure.

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    • Not all of them, some want a chubby guy. And plenty of fat dudes want model thin women.

  • I don't know.. I don't see it that way I think thick women are gorgeous and lovely.. I had many friends like that and were awesome

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  • Because it's just a cultural thing.

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  • Cause the world objectifying women

    Woman beauty is not her looks
    I'd prefer a fat caring woman, than thin cold
    The fat one will be more beautiful in my eyes , while the cold one will be so ugly

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What Girls Said 7

  • My boyfriend is overweight and I find him sexy af... I think it just depends on the person.

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  • I'm not physically attracted to it because I think it looks unhealthy. They also won't share my modestly or be as capable physically and since I enjoy being very active and have quite extremely physically challenging hobbies I just want someone who can keep up with me in that regard.

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    • That wasn't supposed to be modestly but *lifestyle oops

  • A little overweight is okay with me, but 50 pounds over... it's just not the body type I'm attracted to. I wouldn't say those people are gross or ugly, but I feel neutral towards them; not much sexual attraction. I'm usually into fit, muscular guys, who are really physical and active. In life, and in bed. They're more compatible with my lifestyle too, as I tend to be the same way in terms of eating healthy, working out, being the outdoorsy type, etc.

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  • Beauty= the face
    Sexy/healthy= the body/weight
    They're just considered not as sexy to a good amount although some will. The only time weight affects the beauty is if the amount of fat distorts the face because it is too obvious and too excessive (double/multiple chins, many jelly rolls, hanging skin, etc).

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  • Well I never liked the way fat people look. I have obesity on my father's family and always thought it to be kinda gross. The way they eat and sweat all the time.
    It is unhealthy but I don't think that messes with the dating.
    Besides I'm just not atracted to them and I'm not i muscular guys or anything but fat guys are "gross" in a way that I can't bring myself to think of me having sex with someone that sweats that much and I wouldn't trust him on top

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  • I don't know.
    I mean I used to weigh 60 pounds more. Then I lost it. It was because I didn't want to be considered ugly

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  • I find some overweight girls really pretty..

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