If a man is chatty, is that a turn off for women?

Just a general question, I'm not really looking to date right now.

So yeah, I talk quite a lot. Not the boring, run-of-the-mill-stuff, because I can keep a conversation going with witty and interesting topics. But I have noticed people tend to get annoyed sometimes because they feel I talk too much, and go into too much detail. I do agree, but the reason I do this, is to ensure that there is no ambiguity by 'shortening' what I say. I struggle to convey things 'in short', and unless I do go into detail, I risk the other person misunderstanding what I say. Not just this, I am known to keep the atmosphere lively with the way I talk as well.

This doesn't happen too often, but sometimes I fail to realise that I should probably cut down on the chatter when the other person is busy, or otherwise in some kind of stress. And I really do NOT want to annoy anyone. I have been told that the stuff I talk about is usually relevant and intellectual, or at the very least, humorous.

So tell me, is it a deal-breaker for women if the man seems to talk too much? I don't know, I'm a bit paranoid about this. When I do decide to get back into the dating scene (after having sorted out my life and career), I do not want my chatty nature to turn women away from me.

  • Yes
    25% (17)
  • No
    75% (52)
And you are? I'm a GirlGuys can not vote on this poll
Updates:
My 'chattiness' is true not just for talking in person, but it happens when I text or speak over the phone as well.
It's not that I can't ever shut up. I 'sometimes' fail to realise when I have to shut up, but I can take a hint for sure.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am the same. Completely the same. But its the othwr way around and I feel men get bored with me. Lol

    But I would love to date a man like you, who keeps up the conversation.

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    • Wow, great to know that, coming from someone like you! I just hope I can find like-minded people, once I attempt to date again in a few months' time! :)

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    • Thanks for MHO hun!

    • Anytime! And thanks for the great response! 😊

What Girls Said 24

  • It simply all depends on what he is talking about. If its all about himself and your not even on such a topic, its a sign he's all about himself. If its constant praise about her, he may be putting her on a pedestal. If ends up with conflicting interest, then it should change to a shared interest topic. More and importantly just be more concern about how comfortable your date is and not what others say, as not everybody is the same way.

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    • I can balance my conversation with topics in such a way that nothing is given priority over the others (like myself, herself or anything else). It's just that I talk a lot! :P

  • It's not the amount of talking that matters to me, it's whether he is interested in also hearing me talk and getting to know me. I love it when a guy is not shy and able to keep a conversation flowing when we first started dating, and it he talks a lot that's totally fine as long as he's not being self absorbed and making me feel like he isn't interested in what I have to say or asking me questions about myself.

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    • No, that isn't a problem with me. I'm not self-absorbed, and I don't only talk about myself. I do mix and match stuff, and also ask questions about the other person. But then, it's just that I talk a lot - sometimes more than required.

  • It depends on the topic and how much I'm interested. I don't mind intelligent conversation but I expect to be romanced at some point if that's what we're going for. If they miss the signals that I'm ready, it can be frustrating. Sometimes you just gotta know when to shut up and kiss her.

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    • Yeah yeah, I can do that! When she is ready for a kiss, I'd probably be ready even earlier! Lol!

      It's just that I have the tendency to talk a lot (it's not about myself or herself though).

  • No offense, but I have seen your posts and I feel like Gag has really warped your view about the dating scene. I promise, dating beyond 22 is a lot different than what people on here make it seem like. Older young folks aren't so bent on "turn offs." They look for compatibility, stability, and attraction in a more balanced way. It's always a plus to be a nice conversationalist. Just be yourself for this one. If friends say you talk too much, then practice being a listener a little more and you should be good.

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    • Thanks a lot! Yeah, this site has indeed warped my view to a large extent. I wanted to quit long back, but I'm holding on so that I can reach the 'master' level (I'm quite close). After that, I probably won't be too active anymore (although I won't deactivate).

      I need to practice being a listener, although I don't think right now I have a 'problem' about not listening well to others. The bigger issue I have to tackle is my race, since it's somehow stuck in my mind that Indian men have a rotten reputation around the world along with some nasty stereotypes, so women just wouldn't be interested in me.

    • Yeah, I think some space from this website would be helpful. It can be a helpful website but it worsens some insecurities more than it helps others so we'd all better be careful if we're a bit inexperienced. The best way to break stereotypes is to exemplify something better. I think the Indian hate is exaggerated on Gag. In real life, I see indians doing just fine. It's more about showing people you are interested in them, because they may assume you want to keep to your own kind.

    • Yes, the hate for Indian men on this site has ridiculous proportions. These days I even get personal messages from people racially abusing me and stuff. Shit has gone through the roof. Not just on this site, but even on other, general sites (technology, hobbies etc.) I face a lot of hate and discrimination due to being an Indian male. I just hope this is mainly an internet thing, and not so profound in reality.

  • Talk over me instant turn off. I find it rude and just annoying.
    I don't mind a guy that talks it's boring otherwise but when guys over talk or anyone really it's just so annoying

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    • I appreciate your honest opinion. So I suppose I'm not compatible with women like you, and that's fine! :)

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    • Talking over people. I find a lot of guys that talk a lot will push what they are saying even if I'm in the middle of a sentence or at least they try to. It's just them talking and I don't have any reason to be there but to be a sound board

    • I get that. I happen to talk over people sometimes, but I'm quick enough to realise that and prevent myself from doing it for the rest of the conversation.

  • It's a turn off if he can't keep a conversation going. Everyone likes a good conversation and it's good to be detailed, especially when they don't know you yet. From how you described it, everything sounds fine. Just make sure you don't talk about yourself too much. That's... oppressive. I literally have to run away to get some air everytime that happens. Anyway, if someone is busy, chances are they'll just let you know xD

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    • No No! I don't 'only' talk about myself, I usually use a good mix of topics! I have enough decency not to let the woman get overwhelmed or oppressed! :)

    • Then you'll be fine :P

    • Thank you, that's a relief! :P

  • It depends on how chatty the person is. A man who talk normally and know when it's time to stay silent? it's good.
    But a man who just can't shut up? It's a real turn off.

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  • As long as he says smart and/or wise and/ or funny and/or nice things it's a turn on.

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    • Wow thanks! I 'usually' talk about smart/funny stuff, but sometimes I do miss the target. I'm human after all :P

    • Haha don't worry it's fine! I'm quite talkative myself so if my guy is silent it will frustrate me😛

    • Good to know that! :)

  • No I'm a wordy person so I don't mind.

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  • I like men like you, because I am the same. I have so many interesting things to talk about! I could talk all day if I wanted to.

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  • I actually love a guy that I can talk with a lot about nonsense it makes life a little less boring 😝 also I talk a lot as well 😂

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  • are u a geminy? lol

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  • No not that i know of. And for me it isn`t a problem if someone talks to much. I don`t talk a lot because i like to listen for the most part

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    • Cool! Glad to know that! I don't mind if the girl is chatty or not. I have tried to cut down on my chatter though, and until now it hasn't worked! :P

    • Well you don´t have to do that. You said yourself that you know how to keep an good conversation, which is very good :)

    • Yeah, I can keep people engrossed, but sometimes I tend to go overboard with extreme energy and enthusiasm!

  • Not at all.

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  • Unless he never shuts up and I can't get a word in edgewise, no.

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    • No no, I ain't that bad! People usually enjoy conversations with me. It's just that I sometimes can't realise the other person's situation, and just talk like I always would. I have the decency to shut up if I am told or given the hint.

  • I like a talkative man

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  • A guy I like never shuts up

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  • No, I love it

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  • If I'm not attracted to you in the slightest, it's the most annoying thing ever and a HUGE turn off. If I like you, you can talk my ear off and I wouldn't be annoyed in the slightest.

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  • Yes. I don't have an explanation why, it just is

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  • If he's saying nothing but bs then yeah I'd get annoyed and turned off, other than that I'm fine with him being chatty. Better chatty than silent and awkward lol.

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    • No no! Like I mentioned in my question, I hardly, if ever, talk bullshit! :P

  • If it's not the boring run-off mill type of conversation and it's actually insightful, intellectual, and interesting then yes it'd be a turn on for me. Because it shows how open and comfortable the guy is with you. When you try to talk to most guys, they'll usually just keep it brief.

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    • That's refreshing to know! I have been told by people that when I am talking with them, there is never a dull moment! :)

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    • Just make sure to not make it all about yourself though.

    • No no! I mean... I do talk bout myself, but that's not ALL I talk about! I throw in a good mix of stuff! ;)

      But thanks for your inputs! :)

  • Chatty is alright as long as they know when it's time to stop talking. Like I'm always up for a good convo but if I'm busy or just not in the mood then chatty people can get super annoying if they can't take a hint and stop talking.

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    • Well... I sometimes fail to realise when the other person is busy or tensed, but I sure as hell can take a hint if that person seems annoyed. But is this problem big enough to rule me out as potential dating material?

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    • Thank you! :)

    • No problem!

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