Girls and guys, how do you chase the person you like?

Love to hear some positive and successful stories.


1|2
22|52

Most Helpful Guy

  • When I was really really young, I would chase. Then, sometime in high school, I stopped chasing. Then, some guy had a conversation with me about how girls need the self-esteem boost, and "Men love the chase" is just the excuse girls feed themselves to justify the fact that "Women relish the feeling of being wanted and chased after." So, "chasing" was something you sort of did, not because you wanted to, but because it was something the girl needed emotionally. Then, after following that advice for a bit, I realized that the girls who "needed" that were not girls where you could have a sustainable relationship with. One of them turned out to be a pot-head (not the worst thing in the world), one had BPD, one was anorexic, one was a radical third-wave feminist who hated men but loved penis but hated that she loved penis, and one was bipolar.

    I mean, nobody is perfect, but I started to notice the trend. Girls who needed to be chased fell into a certain category of psychological issues, and that category was issues that I couldn't deal with after 2-3 months.

    After that point, all I would basically do is introduce myself and let her introduce herself. Behind most good-looking girls, there's actually not that much substance. I mean, there is. There is if you want to get laid. But, there isn't really. That's who I am in society, now your turn. "I'm studying to be a special education... speech pathologist... and I'm like 25 and still in school... and will make $45k for the rest of my life... but I dress like this, so you can read between the lines." Make an emotional connection, listen out for her "needs" and what she's been missing and longing for in life (from a man), and then "ask the right questions" to show her (indirectly) that I get it and "maybe" I'm that guy. From there on, anything that happens next is HER CALL. SHE is 100% accountable and responsible for any decision she makes after that.

    As far as a story, I guess how my wife and I started dating. I asked her to go out with me (3) times. The first two times, she said, "No! You already have a girlfriend!" By the third time, I had formally broken things off with the other girl I was seeing, so at that point my wife and I started dating.

    1|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well I'm not sure if my case is considered chasing and I'm not sure if I'm successful yet. Since we haven't met up yet.

    I met this guy on a dating app, we had immediate chemistry. But he has lost faith that he will find someone special and is insecure about himself plus he has tons of baggage. Our personalities are similar and we think a like. He has sent out feelers and tested waters about meeting and I gave him a positive response. I know he is kinda interested but he doesn't know what he wants yet.

    We chatted non stop the first week and the conversation was drop, flirty and fun. he was distant the 2nd week but I kept on sending him messages on FB and liked his stuff on both FB and Instagram, we chatted for a but but the flirty fun was gone. 3rd week I kinda gave up therefore no contact. 4th week I noticed him liking my FB posts so I sent out feelers by posting stuff on FB and restricting to only him seeing it. He liked a whole bunch of the stuff I posted and he listened to clips of me singing that I posted.

    I just got a job after being unemployed for a while so I took a chance, sent him a message asking him if he would help me celebrate. The response was positive and we are meeting up this week. We chatted today from 2:30-3pm then he messaged me again and we chatted from 5-10pm.

    1|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 51

  • I don't chase. I contact them, find out whether there is mutual attraction, and then go from there. If they show disinterest at the start, I close the door and move on.

    6|3
    0|0
    • I like that very much. I always thought guys love to chase if not they get easily bored. But I'm very happy to hear that are one of the few that approach them directly.

    • Guys hate chasing. We don't want to guess whether or not you like us. We want you to show as much interest in us, if not more!

  • Sadly chase is to strong of a word to use these days. A better word would be how did you court the person you like.
    Right now I'm trying to get out of her freindzone a bit before I ask her out. She is a shy introvert so I sadly won't know which way she is leaning until I ask her.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I don't chase. I flirt, and if the signs are there, I ask her out. That's it. If she says no, she says no, and I move on. There's no chasing involved.

    6|1
    0|0
  • Chase?
    Not at all.
    They are either interested or they are not.
    If they are interested, no pursuit is required.
    If they are not interested, pursuit is futile and, in some jurisdictions, can be seen as harassment or stalking, which are criminal offences.
    If a man does a rational cost/risk/benefit assessment of interactions with females, it will become apparent that the juice is not worth the squeeze.

    1|2
    0|0
  • I have liked her for almost 2 years (I've known her 2 years + 1 month).
    I worked with her, and for a while I got quite a few shifts with her.
    I asked her to hang out a few months after I started crushing on her, which was the first time I ever asked a girl to hang out, and then we did several times since then.
    I had to quit at the place we worked together for about 8 months, then I came back, and we worked together again for almost 6 months, then she had to put in her two weeks.

    Anyway, this past Friday I finally told her I liked her. I straight up said "I have something to tell you" she said "what" I said "I like you. A lot."
    Then she said "well I like you to, like, as a friend ya know?" And I was like "that's kinda what I expected" and then she kept saying how she didn't know what to say, but it was courageous for me to say it, and I said that I just needed to let her know before she went off to college.

    We texted that night, and she's "really glad" we're friends, and we're gonna try to hang again before she goes to college (but she's on a trip for two weeks).

    So that's my extremely summarized story. I felt like complete shit Friday night and Saturday, because at work everything reminded me of her.
    But then some people convinced me that she might be conflicted and confused, and she might not just be friendzoning me, she might just not be sure. So I'm not as sad now.

    I'm super sentimental (apparently) though, so I remember almost everything significant we've done together, and several little conversations and interactions. So that's just an extreme summary of it all.

    0|0
    0|0
  • My most common way when I was single was get massively hammered, try to chat up every single girl out in a night club that I found remotely attractive and ask them out if the conversation is going well. Then if I exhausted that club and no one said yes, get some more shots and then head to the next club and try again.

    Then usually when I wake up the next morning my memory is fuzzy. If I find some phone numbers in my pockets I call them and try to pretend I remember who they are.

    After that I go on the date and then see if I still like them or not. Usually I don't after I've sobered up.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Usually the odds that I like the girl when sober depend on when I got her phone number. If it's before midnight, good chance that I like her. If it's around 2 am, it's really 50-50. If I got her number around 5 am, very good chance that I won't like her when sober.

    • Lol I like your way of thinking

  • I spot her and then go after her on a full out sprint tackling her to the ground. Lol I dont really chase women if she gives me a signal I talk to her.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You run behind them Screaming 'I Love You give me Babies'? :v
    Nah, just keep it real, walk up and say hi, introduce yourself and let them know how you feel in a non-creepy way, ask them out.

    4|0
    0|0
  • i usually keep my feelings bottled up for years like a fine wine.

    3|2
    0|0
  • I don't. I'm sick of wasting my time chasing some entitled princess who may have attended sex parties just for the privilege of spending money on her

    1|5
    0|0
    • Dude.. Im still a fuckin big fan... lol... word for word... that is something i have told myself on SO MANY OCCASIONS... you bend over backwards and empty your wallet to impress some mo that probably doesn't know you exist... lol @ "privilege"... that is very true.
      You chase, plan, scheme, drive, pay... for the privilege of her just showing up. It ain't worth it most of the time. I told this one girl that our first date was going to be in a park and she was like "that is not normal, can't we do dinner and a movie"... and im like "we could, i mean if you want to buy food and pay for a movie"...
      then she called me a cheapskate... lol... i think she just wanted a free ride on me and the disappointment was real.
      You speak like someone who has realized the amount of fucking money that guys invest into women (most who turn out to be worthless or just bitches)... and start all over again with just a little less in your pocket...

    • Show All
    • @Tdieseler wisdom often times comes from pain and frustration.

      Regardless of what that piece of scum does, men shouldn't even be in that position in the first place. There is no reason men still need to pay for the date. No logical reason whatsoever. I'll only pay for a girl if I want to get her into bed, personally. If I have no interest or if I actually respect her I will not pay for her. If I have to pay for your dinner and you're not having money problems then you're obviously worthless as a person and your only use to me is your vagina.

    • @tyber1 sir.. me and you gotta have a talk... because i have had that thought before... something about comparing prostitutes and "regular girls"... i thought you were being sarcastic.
      i literally do pay upfront if my main goal is to fuck her... but if im serious... i give her a chance... i spend time not money. I will be writing something about that soon... maybe i'll tag you

  • Lol im done chasing females. Now I just flirt, if they dont feel it i move on. The only time i wanna play games is on my PS4✌

    1|1
    0|0
  • No one likes chasing people just want some fun so they keep it exciting but no need to wast time with chasing each other but automatically they chase eachothe other if they hurt other accidently to cool them with apology.

    3|0
    0|0
  • Most of the girls that I like aren't compatible with me as people, or they aren't at a place in their life where they want a hubby. Thus, I never pursue them.

    If I like a girl, then I'll flatly tell her that I do, but I don't chase her. If she's not interested back, then I emotionally detach and move on. Ironically, this oft makes ladies actually want me, after the love plant has withered and died. Go figure.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I don't - I make the prey come to me ha ha ha

    0|0
    0|0
  • you shouldn't need to "chase" anyone unless your 3. Any woman that plays those kind of games, I just move on. I ask her out, I treat her respectfully. I get car doors (freaks some women out). If that isn't enough, it will be for someone else.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't see the point in "chasing." I'm just not going to do it. Why should I waste my time if she's just going to play hard to get? If you are chasing a girl, she's probably not interested in you to begin with (that's the message it sends, at least). That's a bad start already.

    0|2
    0|0
  • I contact her and flirt. Then look to see if she's reciprocating. If she is then I continue; otherwise I'm outta there.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I will not chase a woman. If it does not come naturally it most likely is not going to last.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't. I just look at them awkwardly before minding my own business in a corner in all hopes the'll approach me.

    The times I do approach by sheer chance I just blatantly tell them I'm into them and would like their number. Which I get rejected 99% of the time anyways, which makes me beg the question: "Why bother?"

    0|0
    0|0
  • I no longer chase, not since high school.

    If you have to chase a woman, it makes you look desperate.

    If a woman expects men to chase her, she is childish.

    This isn't a game.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I'm not really a chaser. I just get to know them and see from there. No interest? O well, more fish in the sea

    0|0
    0|0
  • I ask her out directly. If I get a no, I insist a little bit to give it a go. If yes, then cool. If no, I walk it off. Afterwards if I see her I give a smile or a hey or a nod or something so that things don't get awkward. It's easier this way. I rarely have heartbreaks because I make the move before I can build up any hope whatsoever.

    0|0
    0|0
  • With an axe, usually. Chainsaws are optional. Efficient but messy.

    1|1
    0|0
  • i sometimes chase them by train, sometimes by motocycle, depends... and to be honest and stop making fun of it, i had a few relationships, i found out every single girl i was with was a... lets not say it in public, they did something that i didn't want to see and so, so i broke up with them.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Chase? No
    Talk to her, ask her out. We'll keep seeing one another and see how/where it goes. More often than not it ends up in bed and that's it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I chased this one chick recently and then she had a boyfriend. the end.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Creep on them like a creepy stalker. It doesn't work.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I actually am usually shy about chasing.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i try to be as polite and as normal (ie. funny but not a clown) and then who knows
    a friend of mine pretty much do the same and have more success than me... so go figure!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I reveal my feelings obviously. Usually it requires plenty of time Miss. You have to be very patient really.

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    21

What Girls Said 21

  • The guy I'm seeing right now... Well, it started off pretty stupidly because I wanted to find a reason to talk to him. Can't say it didn't work because now we are going out.

    If you want someone, just talk to them and find out if they're interested too.

    2|6
    0|0
  • my boyfriend chased me for 6 months. He fell in love with me in 3rd week we had been talking. I thought he was so annoying. He was constantly complimenting me. My self esteem was double as bad as it is now so it always annoyed me because I thought they were empty and he was lying to make me feel good. This went on for a number of months. Probably that October he told me he was over me and liked this other girl and as soon as he said that I got super jealous and I knew that something was normal about how I felt about him. After a while he told me he was wrong and he wasn't over me and he went back to hitting on me and what not until I started to really think I liked him but at that point I liked someone else too. I told him all of this in December right around Christmas. He sent me the song Lost in you by three days grace and that was that. I was putty in his hand. 3.5 years later and we are still together.

    1|0
    0|0
  • i usually don't 'chase', but id drop hints to try and tell if there's a possibility he may be interested in me back.
    id rather do that in person, but if my only choice is online, then i might harmlessly flirt or highlight the things i admire in his character.

    with someone I'm absolutely sure about though, ill take time to work up the courage i need to let him know directly. it's quite tough, but i think to myself if having my heart broken by them is worth it if they say no. if the answer is yes, then ill go for it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't know if I'd call my story a "success", but I mean we're still friends lol. So I've had a crush on this guy for a few years and didn't really realize it til later. He's amazing and talented, though he didn't ever really treat me how I wanted to be treated. I always complimented him, helped him through his breakups without expecting anything in return, of course. I hate showing my emotions to anyone, so I never fully opened up to him. It was mainly just him telling me about his problems. After a while it got a little tiring. I'd also get a little jealous when he'd say things about his ex. But I never fussed about it. Later on, when I felt like he'd gotten over her, I told him that I liked him. He said he felt the same way and openly displayed his affection towards me. But after about a week he suddenly stopped talking to me. We barely talked, wouldn't even glance at me. Of course I was very confused and didn't know what to do, so I just waited. After a few months I told him he was an asshole for ignoring me (cause who does that after someone confesses their feelings wtf). He apologized and said that I was the only thing good in his life and that if we ever dated he'd eventually lose me and hate me for leaving him. (Thinking I'd break up with him lol). I honestly thought it was just an excuse, but it seemed so genuine. Maybe I'm a fool for believing him, but he isn't the type to lie to me. He hasn't so far, so I believe him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well... You have to Make them run and then you take off after them 😂😁😛!!

    Maybe you could toss them a fake 🐍snake or bugs 🕷🐜🐞🐝to initiate the running 🤗👽😃😂!! 🏃🏻🐢

    1|0
    0|0
  • lol well my recent chase has been successful so far. i met him when i was bar tending an event for his work. we talked a lottt and i drew his name for a raffle. he never asked for my number so i found him on fb and weve been talking since

    1|1
    0|0
  • I don't.
    I just hope that THEY also like ME enough to ask me out, so I can accept :P

    Sad + totally lazy + true.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'd show signs of interest, initiate contact and be open and honest about my feelings, but if they don't show signs of interest in return then I'd stop pursuing them

    To me , chasing someone means you continueously pursue someone even if they don't respond to your advances, messages or calls. You are the only one pursuing , there's no effort from them too.

    There's a difference between chasing someone and making it obvious you like them and want to date them.

    0|0
    0|1
  • I don't chase them lol I'm not that intrusive. I just rely on my good vibes and let them come to me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well not literally...

    I "chased" after mine when I realised what was happening

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't chase. I let the boys do that for me lol.

    1|0
    1|3
  • I don't chase. I know how to play my role, but I don't chase guys.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't like chasing to be honest. I usually don't make the first move because I'm a fucking scardy cat, but if he makes the move first and I like him or I'm kinda intrigued, I continue it:)

    0|0
    0|0
  • With their two legs.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I never ever chase. I'm interested to see the answers you get though!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I was going to share but it wasn't positive or successful. He still friend zoned me hardcore. LMAO

    0|0
    0|0
  • Everyday

    0|0
    0|0
  • I do nothing and hope they talk to me. Hasn't worked out so far.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't. I never try.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You find out what they like, find out their interests, talk to their friends, get to know their friends, be cool. Then start talking to that person. I did this with my first love. He was wanted by many girls, so I quietly chased him. Meaning, I went to the same bars he went to (we were in college), we fortunately had the same major so we were in a couple classes together. I got to know his friends at these bars, or at music/art shows he'd be at. When he saw his friends befriend me, then he did and we started to talk but I didn't make myself available too easily. He then started to chase me a little bit, and we finally ended up together one night-and kissed. That effort paid off! :p at the time...

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't really chase anyone. If they don't show mutual interest after awhile or they try to play hard to get, I move on.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...