... Even though I am 20 years old?
I asked this about a year ago when she was only 15, and resolved to wait since that was too young. But now that the girl in question is 16, would it be okay for me to ask her out and pursue a relationship with her?
Long story short, I am 20 and there is this young Greek girl at my Church whom I really like. She is 16 and very mature, an oldest sibling like myself. I have a massive crush on her but I am afraid that the age gap is too large for us.
I would never have sex with her, not until we were married. So the law is really not a problem. But would it be okay to date and be in a relationship with her provided that her parents approve of it?
How should I go about this? And no, I do not believe that there is anything wrong with it since prior to 30 years ago, such age gaps were common and there was nothing wrong with it.
@redeyemindtricks @CheerGirl38139 @OlderAndWiser @snowangle
Most Helpful Girl
Honestly I think she's too young. The next 2-4 years of her life are going to be full of so much growth, learning and self-discovery. You're an adult at this point, and she's still what I consider to be a child. Maybe it's a really good match, but at this point in her life, I don't think it'd be good for her.1
Most Helpful Guy
I think there are a few questions to ask.
1. Because she is a minor, there is the potential for conflict with her parents and especially with her father. If you do want to date her now, you should first ask her father's permission. You can assure him of your intentions and this will help to gain his trust.
2. I don't think the age difference is a problem per se. It is a question of maturity levels. Is she sufficiently mature that you would be dating someone who you can accept as an equal when it is time to make decisions of any importance? Will you think that her inexperience makes her opinion less valuable than yours? Will she be able to say "no" to you and have you respect her decision?
3. You are an unusual young man (and I mean that in a very positive way) and I am wondering whether you will have sufficient common interests with her or whether you will feel that her interests are not as nature as yours. Will you feel proud or silly attending her senior prom when you are 22 years old? Will you feel proud or will you feel the need to explain or apologize when you introduce her to your older friends and family?
I don't need for you to answer these questions for me. When you answer these questions for yourself, you will know whether the time is right. Please do keep up posted on your decision and what happens if you do decide to pursue the relationship.2