Is it wrong to date an older man?

I'm in 20, still in college and in the city. recently I've been dating a man in his early 30's. it's a completely normal relationship so far, fun dates, hanging out, getting to know each other etc. I think its been going really well, and I like him, although I am guarded with my emotions for obvious reasons.. he's older. but is it wrong to be dating him? is that taboo? people don't normally look at us funny, or even seem to notice that we are in different decades, and i feel comfortable but I refuse to tell my friends in fear of being judged.. I don't know.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well my parents 8 years apart and they have been happily married. My dad was sort of insecure when he was younger dating my mom from my assumptions of what they've told me but not a train wreck by any means. Just a lot of family issues that he had growing up. I don't think it would automatically deem a guy as being insecure but the consideration you need to take in is why. I think a lot of guys will date younger because they are naive and can't see past their bullshit as easily. So if you date older I think it would be in your best interest to keep your eyes peeled within the relationship.

    I was 20 dating a 17 year old at one point. People gave me heat for that but I didn't do it out of sinecruity. I did it because I genuinely liked her and we got along perfectly.

    I personally think I'll marry younger because i'm more attracted to younger women. I like the age difference because life experience is masculine and I like my partner to look up to me and value my life experience as a man and be someone that she can trust and go to. An older woman that might conflict with that dynamic. Plus it seems that older women that are single tend to be bitter as fuck and an increasingly amount of them are becoming cringe feminist lmfao.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • no its not wrong but its not my thing.

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What Guys Said 20

  • I am in my upper 40's and my girlfriend is 21.

    The negative judgment comes in a few forms.

    First, are the girls your age who are jealous because your boyfriend probably has resources their boyfriends don't. He doesn't demand you pay for half the date and he may even provide you a lifestyle their boyfriend's can't afford.

    Older women his age think they deserve him, not you. They don't like that you can steal a good catch from them. They don't think it is fair.

    If older men are judgmental, it is only because they wish they were dating you too.

    If younger men are judgmental, it is because they are insecure with themselves and are jealous that the older guy can provide for you, when they cannot.

    It isn't anyone's business besides the two of you. Date whom you like.

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    • Awesome bro MHA winner right here

    • Show All
    • @slimstiffy
      I have dated a number of professional models and a couple of actresses. One of the actresses has done very well, and it is funny to watch her on tv.

      However, thank you for illustrating an important point, that those who try to put down such relationships are jealous. You say "pro modeling is a red flag". How many actresses and models have you dated to know that? (even I've turned a few down because they were not my type) My guess is zero, and that it is something that you know is not going to happen. You have a classic immaturity, and that is precisely why many young women date older men.

    • @Iron_Man
      "Why won't you marry the younger woman though? "
      Because they get older. It is also not something they want either. One of my old gfs, who was about 24 or 25 at the time, said that she liked the fact that older men would not be trying to push her into a commitment. She wanted her freedom. It works great.

  • I don't think it's weird, I know a lot of girls that date guys 10 years older than them. A few younger girls (ie maybe your friends) might think it's a little weird since they may be still in the grade school/college mentality where you have to date someone in your grade/within a few years of age. In the 'real-world' however, such gaps are not uncommon and in a lot of ways pretty logical. Older guys are more successful, cooler, etc. And they make it a little hard for younger guys like me to compete if I'm honest...

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  • Millions do

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  • this is for walter radio:

    "lol i have dated no actresses and neither have you my friend, unless you count the local shool drama as actors/and actresses.
    wow, i actually tought you were better than this. you are not even close to as mature as i am. making up stories of turning down actresses, and thinking you are mature if you dont even know the reason why the modelling industry is a red flag. what are you gonna fo next? block me? i have wasted my time here, thinking this would be interesting."

    as you can see , he had already blocked me :-D

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    • if you see his last comment at me, he says :" i have classic immaturity"
      and then goes and blocks me, so i can't reply.
      seems like something a 43 yo would do?
      more like a 13 yo reaction.
      also i wasn't accusing or judging him, just was going to do a normal argument, but he took offence, and he was actively trying to make it into a fight.
      women, ain't nothing wrong with going for an older man, but age has nothing to do with maturity.
      i think we can all agree from this, that older does not equal wiser as i have clearly prevailed

  • Of course not your A ok 😊

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  • Wrong? LOL why would this be wrong? Date whomever you want. In fact, most girls my age seem to want to be with guys in their 30s.

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  • Something may well be since you felt compelled to create this question... it's pretty common but sometimes there are underlying reasons... looking for a father figure... cash and prizes... but what's wrong with the guys your own age?

    I know us older guys rock.. I mean look at me... I'm just damn sexy... now where was I... oh yes, so do you got Daddy issues?

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    • no father issues, no issues at all. In fact I thought the man I am seeing was 25 when I first met him he's so good looking. I just come from a conservative group of friends and family and so this is defiantly something that is a little on the adventurous side of life for me.

  • it's fine and you're old enough to make your own decisions. if you feel that he's the right one... go for it

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  • No, it's perfectly okay to date older men. I'm 26 and I don't mind dating older women, since they're more mature.

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  • Would be strange if the age gap (> 15) maybe. But, what's important is that you can understand each other, and you don't feel the age gap, like different way of thinking different attitude... etc.
    If you're in a match then nothing is wrong with that.

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  • Tis fine.

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  • in my opinion, age gaps are fucked up and I usually judge and look down on people, especially girls, that are in relationships with guys 4+ older.

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  • No..

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  • Isn't it kinda usual for a girl to date an older guy? All my girlfriends were younger than me. The largest age gap was 8 years (I was 26 and she was 18 when we dated).

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  • no, if you connect, why worry

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  • I've seen plenty of couples like that. A postdoc at my lab has a 18 year old girlfriend, and he's 34.

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  • What's important is if your happy. A real friend would support you and look out for you.

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  • If your ashamed of it then yeah its wrong for you, meaning its not right for you.

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  • Love is love.

    If you care about him and he cares about you, have a blast together!

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  • you're in your roaring 20's, a time to be having fun, not being bogged down

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What Girls Said 7

  • Why? If your happy they should be happy for you

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  • It's not wrong, although for some people it is wrong. But no one is the owner of the truth... Just do whatever the fuck you want, it's your life.

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  • Not my experience but one of my colleagues dates an older and married man. She is very happy and often shares with me their adventures.

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  • If it is I've been wrong a lot lol

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  • Not ever to me.

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  • No age is just a number if you happy an legal lmao

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  • no i dated someone 30 years older than me... i dont see anything wrong with it at all

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