Girls, does it take a long time for you to develop feelings for someone and why?

This is in reference to a girl that I met on an online dating app. We have gone on four dates and I think I may have fallen for her hard but don't want her to know it.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I fall into the crazy about someone phase quite fast. If I spend a fair bit of time around someone it generally means in crazy about them but I'm sure that's not the case for all women but I certainly wouldn't go on more than one date with someone I wasn't really into.

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    • Ok yah. I guess I should look at her going on four dates with me as a positive sign. With the past two dates, we have moved into the "holding hands" stage, but I feel like our kissing isn't quite there yet. It's still a hug/kiss on the cheek when I pick her up, than a kiss on the lips at night when I drop her off. Haven't had that good deep make out kiss yet.

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    • See when I drop her off, we always end up just saying goodbye in my car and then pecking on the lips goodnight. I wonder if I should actually get out of the car and try for something more rather than when we are leaning over in the car to say goodbye.

    • You need to turn that kiss into a bit more. What are you doing with your hands when you kiss her?

What Girls Said 20

  • I have trust issues, so as soon I know I can trust you or that I don't see any red flags pop up, I can start to allow myself to feel something for you. We're always cautious about creeps and stalkers and weirdos. Sometimes feelings come fast. You have to look for clues that she may be into you or wants to do more. I don't know how far you've gone with her, but you should at least show her that you're into her. Good luck!

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    • I have made sure to ask her on a date every week, and made sure to really plan it out well. She even noticed it and said to me yesterday that most guys can't even plan that well. She seems to show signs of interest, but is good at keeping it suttle. I would assume going on four dates with me so far means she isn't turned off to me lol. We have become more touchy feely, but we still haven't really made out yet.

  • because I don't trust everyone with my feelings.

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  • Girls are naturally skeptical of guys. You have to remember that attractive girls are hit on and even stalked constantly by guys. Over time this makes us very wary of guys and what they want. Even if I think highly of a guy, I'm always afraid of getting involved with a controlling jerk who's going to try to harm me. There are guys who last out violently just because a girl broke up with him. Doesn't make girls feel very open or quick to fall for guys, that's for sure.

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  • It depends on each person. Enjoy the moments with her and give her time. :)

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  • It takes a really long time for me because I've met more than my fair share of assholes and I'm done being hurt all the time.

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  • It varies.

    - 4 dates, but how long have you 2 been going out? Actual time.

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    • 4 dates I would say over the coarse of six weeks. Two weekends she was out of town.

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    • I meant bf/gf, b. t. w.

    • No I appreciate all your input. I get mixed vibes from her sometimes and I'll admit that even guys get afraid of rejection. Plus she is a very busy girl and I want to respect that and allow her the space to develop feelings for me naturally.

  • I fell for my husband in a matter of weeks. I actually hid my true feelings from him because I did not want to scare him off. It took a long time for him to get to where I was in our relationship but I was patient

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  • Generally, depends on each gurl. some of us girls (including me) will develop feelings fast, but not act on it/like it or say anything. And ill just deal with it with sadness etc or whatever i may feel along with those feelings lol. Girls really dont trust guys easily.

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  • Yeah takes me about 3 months on average but I am obviously fond of the person prior to falling from them. Maybe don't hide your feelings as such, I did this once before and 5 months down the line I had to confess because I couldn't pretend I didn't any more and he said wow, well you don't show it. But because I hadn't, he protected himself from falling for me and we both (or I) ruined the honeymoon period. Just go with the flow, take it steady but never hide your true self!

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    • P. s. I don't know why it takes this long but once I fall, I fall hard

  • It doesn't take me long at all to develop feelings once I like you I really like you hard it's hard for me to express them because of my fear of the other person not feeling the same way about me but 4 dates means she likes you

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  • I actually develop feelings pretty damn fast. It would definitely take me less than four dates to know whether I'm into the guy. I don't understand why you wouldn't want her to know it though, you're 28, not 12.

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    • Lol well I'm not exactly looking to scare her away. I figured I would let things develop on her terms.

  • It depends on the person, but in my opinion I don't think it takes long at all. It takes me a short while to get a persons vibe and spending time with them I can already tell whether I feel something for them or not. Also the fact that you have already gone on four dates is a good sign. Just give it more time and you be able to tell whether she has developed feeling for you :).

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    • Do you think it's ok that we haven't really made out yet? Lol we peck on the lips at the end of our dates, but we haven't really had that opportunity to have a nice romantic kiss yet.

    • I think thats normal, maybe she is just nervous but when you two are ready for a real kiss you'll know it.

  • Yup. Not going to get my feelings hurt

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  • Yes.

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  • no it takes maybe a week for us to be interestedin him, and two more to really like the guy depending on how much you communicate with him.

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  • If you don't let her know how you feel She'll just think you don't care and don't take you seriously.

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  • I'm curious to know which app it was...

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  • no lol, pretty much every girl I know is like me in that girls can fall in love with a guy instantly... its usually way quicker for a girl than it is for a guy to develop feelings! so chances are she feels the same if not more:) go tell her! shout it from the rooftops! before she thinks you're not interested bc she's probably already analysing why you haven't told her already:)

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    • See I would have thought the opposite lol. I always figured it was the girls who took longer because they needed to get a feel for if a guy was actually relationship material for the long term and not just putting on an act for the short term.

  • I can't speak for every girl out there, but it took me a while to develop feelings for my guy. Told him about it and he's been madly in love with me since. Just be honest about your feelings for her. Chances are she might be into you too! Just take a leap of faith and hope for the best! Good luck :-)

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  • :)
    I think everyone is different, but for me, what I know for sure and early on, is when I don't want someone..

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    • So it takes a while for you to want someone is what you are saying?

    • Yes, I guess so

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